Friday, January 8, 2010

WHy I wouldn't recommend being a nice guy/good man

There is absolutely no benefit in it. Let's be honest most women are the queens of the listen to what I say don't pay attention to what I am actually doing mindset. I mean from personal experience most who know me will admit yes I am a good guy, no that is not to say pushover yes I can be overly opinionated, strong minded, picky and determined(trying to find a way to say butt hole in a nice way to stay within the guidelines of the blog). I am still a good man though never cheated in my life, I go out of my way to help you hell sometimes out of my way, I am loyal to a fault, and as long as your with me you don't have to worry about being scared that I won't be in your corner.

And all that and 3 bucks might get me a cup of coffee on a saturday night ALONE. Why is this, because most women while to "protect their image" will claim that they are looking for a guy with my general characteristics I'm not who they are looking for. Now I'm not the handsomest cat on the planet, or the tallest(I'm 5'10 so I'm average height), I won't deny that I have added a good 50 pounds since high school, but I know I'm not the ugliest cat and I know as long as I feel you are worthy there is no such thing as me being a tight wad. I may not throw my money in everybody's direction but I will spend whatever on a cause or person who I feel is a worthwhile investment, period. I mean lets be honest, there are a lot of guys out here like me, intelligent, hard working, compassionate, kind, understanding and humble.  As I have said before the names for us are usually Herb, Cornball, Punk, Square, and Lame. The reasons are simple we believe in looking deeper then just ya bra size and your measurements and believe that you deserve to be respected if you have earned it.

Most guys like me feel that if I'm with a woman I think is beautiful and she loves me I am the luckiest man on the planet, I'm not trying to run out and prove I can get 50 women just like you I'm trying to find ways to spend more time with you and maximize the memories. What good is that I guess I mean if your not the top choice of a guy with a harem I guess that ain good enough. It appears that most women would rather have a guy string them along for years because he makes their girlfriends jealous(or wet cause he may just be with you because you and your crew of friends he is planning to hit are pretty) then be with somebody who actually wants to share the rest of their lives with them. Oh I know "successful" women can't find a man, no while some of these women MIGHT be successful some of them are overstating their station and current value. Not only that but they can't offer half of what they are asking for so really how you expect to be given a home run when you may only be giving a double is beyond me ie how you expect to get someone who will fulfill your wildest dreams when you may not even be able to meet that persons expectations halfway is foolish and immature.

I know I often fight with women on this subject for a simple reason, you want me to take you seriously as an individual yet you want to lump me into a group with your ex, some dude who you gave the time of day and wasn't worthy of your time, or the other "top choices" you decide to deal with but are constantly leaving you wanting for more. As has often been said the common denominator going forward in any relationship you are involved in IS YOU. Thats right ladies if you can NEVER find a man that meets your qualifications sit down and figure out if you meet your own qualifications.

Most relationships are about balance and give and take. While the "classic" role definition may not be necessary role definition is necessary. If you make more fine, you make more but if you don't want him rubbing your nose in how much more then you he makes, and how he is big time and your small potatoes remember that when your in the big dog position. If you don't want to cook and he doesn't have a problem with it you better have something you can bring to the table in it's place, make a mean martini, love the same team as he does something. Most women fall into a trap of they have a set resume they want their man to meet up with yet when it comes time to see what dude wants "well why can't he just accept me for me" and the answer is simple "because you want him to live up to your expectations". And that isn't a bad thing, or a petty thing at all that is as long as you can reciprocate.

If you like long walks in the park, quiet evenings, and a foot massage after a long day when he talks about wanting to go to a ball game even if it's in the snow you better wrap ya behind up and go with him. If he is willing to sit through a chick flick, you better go see at least one action movie or comedy. If while you know you want him close you know you want girl time, if you expect him to trust you until otherwise proven you better trust him. Because honestly the only person you are showing is untrustworthy is yourself, yeah I said it if your saying basically that when out of your sight he would cheat the only way you could think that way is if out of his sight you are doing stuff you know he wouldn't like.  And don't present some ideal woman you think he wants, be willing to find a man who loves the real you flaws and all. Somebody who you ain got to worry about taking your mask off and him feeling betrayed.  If a man can't like you for who you are he isn't worth your time anyway, ever wonder how guys can constantly get told no yet continue to ask women out. Simple we know when we find the right one it will be magical(if we're looking for the right one, if we're just looking for draws it will still be magic just for a shorter period of time, what would you rather I lied to you? Too bad I ain got time for that).

All this being said who still gets the majority of the phone numbers? Who when you ask them are women constantly making excuses for why they date instead of making excuses as to why maybe you just aren't there type? And it's kinda funny because many of the reasons given if a guy were to turn it around on a woman on she would be pissed. Because it has nothing to do with her and everything to do with what you think she will be like because of how she looks, and that is the same way she's looking at Mr. Nice guy. Because he isn't disrespectful he must not be strong, if you think about it though what takes more strength pushing people around so you don't have to listen to them or finding a way to get along and work with them even if you might disagree? Yet not realizing it is a condemnation of themselves women will complain oh well I will just walk all over him, yeah um that isn't a fault on his part if your like that you need to go work on you. Patience is the virtue not an overblown sense of self.

Well bad boys know how to "do it better" yeah okay, if you still ain getting off and he has a long list of things you want to try that he don't is it that he does it better or that he just takes you more forcefully and for that few moments he's there it's raw passion yet your still not fulfilled. Sometimes you have to respect that it takes time to learn what your partner does and does not like, just like it takes time to learn what you like. And if you are unwilling to show that person your probably don't want to be fulfilled, I'm just saying.

Oh yeah nice guys are too shy, well actually a real nice guy is trying to get to know you first, before he goes all out and lets you in he wants to make sure you are worth the time he is gonna dedicate to you, and yes I said dedicate. Because those bad boys who are running their mouths usually forget about you once they get what they want, I mean how often do you complain about a nice guy not calling you back and checking to see how your day is? I mean yes your still going to argue doesn't matter who you are in a relationship with you are gonna have a disagreement and you need to. You have to see if you can work it out with someone when you disagree maybe your right maybe he's right but right ain gonna keep you warm at night. Nor will it hold you as well as the other person will so you have to be willing to come to an agreement and stick to it.  You have to be willing to weather a storm or two together to see how you are gonna deal with the long haul.

I know I know it's a lot to think about, but then again if you want the best how are you just gonna walk in the door and get it without doing any research yes if you blind fold a monkey and give him a dart sooner or later he will land on the name Tiffany, Saks, BMW, or Mercedes but wouldn't you rather take you time and find it yourself and save a lot of time, hassle and heart break?

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