Saturday, July 10, 2010

Avatar:The last Airbender

See I would talk about The Last Airbender but the aka for that movie is how to completely suck at making a movie and completely waste everyones time. There are people who are giving this movie a chance because they just like seeing a character on screen but to say this movie sucked is an insult to sucky movies. I mean most of those movies the people actually tried their best but honestly there were way too many holes in said story to gain the audiences attention or hearts.

I think The last Airbender is going to make money, it's going to make money due to the "Howard Stern rule", what is that you ask, simply put the people who love Howard listen to hear what he is gonna say next, the people who hate howard listen to see what he is gonna say next.  The Last Airbender Fantastisucked, the term has been used by me before look it up in a previous blog if it isn't on here it's on multiply. The last airbender took a cake walk and turned it into a rushed, yet grueling, waste of good martial arts performances, lousy bending but great martial arts.

Wait what? How could it be great martial arts but lousy bending, simply part of the beautiful thing about bending is that your element followed you as you made you motions. If you watched the show it kind of gave you a tactile feel for chi flow as they talk about it in martial arts. Its almost like he only watched Aang bend(not Ong as M night decided he wanted to do its almost like he was making a bad parody of a good show) when he first started learning each of the elements past air(hell his airbending took too damn long).

If you look up avatar the last airbender the cartoon you will see some marked differences, wait let me take that back EARTH BENDING IS THE ONLY BENDING HE GOT SEMI CLOSE. The way he made the earth seem to fight against its benders before it finally bowed to their will was right, everybody elses bending HE SCREWED THE POOCH. First and foremost FIREBENDERS CREATE THEIR OWN FIRE. It is created from their chi, and in all honesty for them it made sense, why might you ask.

Think of the Greek gods for a second, who are the big three Zeus Sky, Poseidon Air, Hades Earth/the underworld. There is of course another fire spirit there Apollo god of the sun. The only really free flowing bit of flame in our little solar system. Whats the funny thing about the sun if it was closer it would scortch us. Thus while we all use fire and admit its value and power we keep it restrained. So Air plentiful, Water plentiful unless you are in the middle of the land, and Earth PLENTIFUL. Those benders would have plenty of their element around them and have free access to it, because in nature those elements are plentiful and usually not too restrained, ESPECIALLY AIR AND EARTH. Fire on the other hand needs so much to get going it needs fuel, it needs air and then you would have to constantly transport it. I mean Their machines run on fire which means they would burn massive amounts of fuel so by the time you made it to an enemies camp you ordinace should be damn near used up. So if as was explained in the show you allowed fire to be created by your chi and your emotions your passion, your anger, you desires then it would be strong bright and free flowing. You wouldn't have to worry about always having fire with you(which would make it hard for you to sneak up on someone and capture them since you would be carrying a damn torch).

What M night should have done was told this story in 6 parts 2 parts per book(the books are Water, Earth and Fire in the order that Aang must learn them to fully master being the avatar) the beginning of each book developing the characters and their abilities showing why they came to the decisions they did and what mistakes made them better benders, tactitians or people.

Okay lets start with story and character errors:

Story error one:How the Avatar was discovered; in the movie there is this big bubble sitting there that Katara hits with a hammer or something and breaks it open and Poof there lays the avatar. Lame because it basically defeats an important part of the story that you will discover later. Katara is a very strong WATER BENDER. In the show you later learn that she is so strong and gifted that she can Heal using water and that she can even bend the water in your Blood.

In the cartoon, Sokka(not Soaka or Souka, the hell there are ways to screw things up and then there are ways to show its just an obstacle in the way of what you really want to do) and his sister are out on the water and they start having an argument. During the course of the argument katara angered by sokka's sophmoric and condescending ways starts screaming and giving in to her emotions while on the raft. As she does not yet realize she is a water bender nor the strength of her bending as Sokka tries to calm her down she gets more insensed she will be heard she will not be shushed and she will not calm down. The water around the craft is reacting to her emotions churning, splashing and during all of these splashes up comes Aang's bubble containing him and Appa, Oppa, or Opa(dunno how its spell but it sounds like Op Ah, Sokka sounds like Sock ah or Socc ah, Katara is Kat ar ah, and and is Ang like in freaking Tang you know the orange drink or freaking WU TANG) as she continues to rage the ice which is also made of water starts to crack. Up shoots a beam of light out fall Aang and Opa and our adventure begins.

Another story error and lets be real about this the races of the characters, they matter in the story and the fact that you whitewashed then tanwashed most of them makes no damn sense. As many have claimed the cartoon does have asian overtones, yes it is a cartoon but the characters are all asian, if you read the signs in the cartoon they are done in Kanji(thus you get subtitles for what is on the doors when you see the signs). Call it a mistake in the artists rendering, call it a minor faux paux call it caucasians do not need to be the focal point of every damn story. But sokka and katara are clearer of a darker hue than Aang, I don't mean an hour in the sun I mean like a month in the sun darker(you know like the girl who comes back after two weeks in the islands and just has to rub her tan in your face even if it just comes from a tanning booth or a spray bottle). And any claims to the contrary are foolish simply because they diminish the importance of being factual to the source material just for personal preference or connection.  Every one in their village and of the water tribes appear to either be Inuit or Eskimo ALL not Most except for Sokka GAM GAM and Katara. As a matter of fact it appeared that every speaking character from the water tribe was caucasian. By the way anybody who claims that the water tribe or earth tribe is in anyway shape or form scandanavian is smoking the same pipe M night smoked to make this movie and think it wasn't going to be a cryingstock(this movie is so sad you cry at what it SHOULD HAVE BEEN). Neither tribes were pale, and the earth kingdom people had slanted eyes and FU MAN CHU mustaches, Fu man chu's not viking beards. And again unless you are saying that both water tribes had a serious case of sunburn(though they were not red) again is an idiot, if you cannot accept a character in a live action movie to be exactly how he was in the cartoon then you know what don't watch either because you can't handle it.

Now the earth tribes APPEARED to be chineses, korean, or mongolian. But the fire benders umm how can I put this nicely They all appeared to be indian(and I mean indian not native american). In the show if you asked me I would have said they were either Mandarin chinese or japanese, by their dress, mannerism and actions. I have heard many laughable denials of the Asiatic base f this story and its sad, because you can tell they are just saying it because while they know better they cannot help their white centric view on how things should look.

They were ALL asians: Inuit waterbenders, Tibetan/Shaolin Airbenders, Korean, Chinese, Mongolian earth benders, and Chinese, Mandarin, Japanese fire benders. It almost looks like it was a representation 3 kingdoms period in china towards the end as was shown in the move Hero staring jet li. Except in avatar they gave each kingdom an element(thus requiring a fourth kingdom) and instead of the fight ending in one huge nation it ends with each nation controlling itself but striving for peace between themselves. Yes each bending style mimiced a martial art air soft style wushu(sort of like snake), water taichi, earth bending hard like tiger or crain, and fire kind of like monkey style lots of flips, kicks and aerial maneuvers. So casting fantastisucked, its almost like he had a cast in mind that he wanted to work on for his next film this became his next film and he used that cast anyway.

Next problem sokka, he's a loveable pest. Again he is somewhat immature, very sophmorice, basically he's a kids version of Ryan Reynolds in any movie he plays in. Yes he's smart, yes he has good ideas he makes jokes all the time, teases but you love him because he's constant. And the journey sokka goes on to become this great strategist and better warrior well I can't see how M nights brooding, sulking, BORING stiff could pull that off. I mean Not ONE JOKE. Unless you count that he's the only one that said KATara's name right. already discussed the name moving on.

Prince Zuko was like prince zuko in the series except his hair was wrong, in the beginning LIKE IN CHINA Zuko ONLY had a pony tail. His sides were bald, he wore his hair up as did IROH(not eroh, the hell with the names Asian saying pffft liar I can look up any other anime and show them saying similar names to these without a freakin problem he has mental problems he screwed it up to screw it up on purpose). Iroh actually had his hair in a sort of courtiers single loop bun like you used to see in old Kung fu movies. Oh and Iroh was fat, I say this not to disrespect the character but to kind of respect who the character was. Iroh was an old general, and he had the body like one, a body that you could tell had seen many years and was starting to go to seed as he stopped the rigors of a strick military life. SO this thin EROH, while he like his tea didn't seem as introspective and comtemplative. I mean technically the cartoon Iroh was FREAKIN CONFUCIUS, he always had words of wisdom and mild mannered yet educational anecdotes to pass on. And he seemed like a man tired of war, he was always trying to cheer zuko up, make him see that there were better things in his future then just being another lackey to his overly ambitious father. There was a bond between Zuko and Iroh that you aren't seeing in this movie. And Iroh's hair what the hell, whats with the I don't know if those were dreads or ratty braids.

Though Zuko's scar, hmmm it should have been the whole side of his face. Yes if you looked closesly parts of the skin look slightly marked from the blistering, but it should have been a big blatant scar not this afterthought that M. Night tried to pull off to make it I guess more kid friendly. And whats with the mispronunciation of asian works its KAI, Agnekai or Agnekai AG NUH KAI. I know asians say Kai all the time because I watch bleach and BAN KAI is when one of the characters takes his ZanPakTo to pretty much its ultimate level, Their swords have a SkiKAI form(which is an unreleased for), a released for(don't remember if that form had a name) and then the BANKAI form. So for M night to have it called Ah Nee Kee the lies for his asian pronunciation keep getting weaker and weaker. We are americans we watch anime, we know what words we hear the ASIAN voice actors say. So if in Hindi, or arabic, or whatever dialect from india that he speaks that he is trying to pass off as asian he should have just said so, cause his words didn't sound REMOTELY asian. I mean they sounded like bad 1950's translations of asian terms and words.

And by the way there are like 2 Agnekai's shown in book 1 water. Agnekais are pretty much Honor battles, and Zuko being so much about Honor these should have been shown, every chance to get even a piece of his honor back zuko would have held firmly too.

Katara getting the waterbending scroll SHE STOLE IT FROM PIRATES. And why were the pirates important, because those same Pirates were the ones used by the admiral from the fire nation that Zuko didn't get along with to attempt to ASSASINATE HIM. Not only that but it wasn't until Book 2 Earth that Aang found out that Zuko was the blue spirit. The complicated relationship between Zuko and Ang, Zuko's quest to regain his honor, Zuko and Iroh, Zuko and Azula and Zuko and firelord Ozai is also sometimes told using the mask of the blue spirit. Admiral Jin didn't Suspect Zuko's treachery until he saw the twin swords zuko likes to use in his uncles bunk.

And AVATAR KYOSHI hello that damn statue is on KYOSHI ISLAND, the land that Sokkas future Girlfriend comes from. The island is the place where an important battle between Aang and Zuko is fought, man just whew. The ignorance of that whole scene and the Speech Aang gave belonged to Katara. It showed you how rumors, messages and stories of the battles against the fire nation have traveled the world. It showed Kataras passion and how she was more then just the bossy younger sister, the one who had dreams of the strong Earth Benders finally overcoming the fire nation.

And where was Aangs playfulness. They weren't making stops on the way to the northern Water tribe to fight battles Aang had a list of goof off side trips he had planned. He still saw the world as it had been 100 years before when there hadn't been a lot of fighting. To make matters worse they allowed Aang to be trapped in a room that was supposed to have a door that ONLY A MASTER AIRBENDER COULD OPEN.

There were rumors that M nights kids made him watch the show, I think he knows how to sleep with his eyes open cause dude. I mean so much is rushed, the characters are so wrong, the constipated way he treated all bending, the botched casting, the holes in the story, the ignorance of the character growth.

I mean the best Water bender did not want to teach Katara because she was a girl, but come to find out she is not just any girl but that necklace she always wears, her pride and joy that Gam Gam gave her, that necklace was made by that great water bender for her grandmother when she was his betrothed, She ran away from the Northern Water tribe because she did not like it's rigid structure. Hell the Princesses father wasn't dead he is the one who held the feast in the AVATARS Honor. He showed them that Magic Garden THAT WAS NOT IN A CAVE, I mean he stole a scene from the cartoon and screwed it up. Those two koi the white with the shiny blackish patch and the black with the shiny/glowy whitish patch circle the MOON in the cartoon it was part of how Aang saw the Yin Yang symbol in the pull and learn to better understand water bendings push and pull. It helped him better connect water bending in his mind. He just through it off in a cave some wear as an afterthought.

Avatar touched on so many adult themes in a way that children could understand them and take notice of them that the fact that a SUPPOSED adult could screw it up so badly. I mean it isn't even a old cartoon that current generation children may have only seen reruns of and possibly out of order, its a freaking current cartoon. It's been getting Marathons with Extra info since a month and a half before The Last Airbender was due to premier. I know it's like I keep harping on the guy but it's almost as if M night wanted to be ridiculed after this movie came out. Like this was his cry for an intervention, its a current story, like Harry Potter EVERYBODY HAS SEEN IT. That's why it got a movie, and instead of taking the lessons from the good harry potter movies it's like he fell in love with the "directorial vision" of the guys who basically had turned the fans off so badly I often wonder if J K Rollings doesn't sometimes say to herself why did I agree to this hack again PUBLICLY! You do not cut improtant MAIN STAY characters out of a story just because they do not fit your directorial vision.

I mean I know I usually say I want to give a movie a chance because some reviewers could care less about the subject matter of a comic/cartoon/adaptation movie such as this, but I hate to say it they are right, this thing has gone so far past Craptastic that it almost has to be viewed just to see how badly Hollywood does not respect our money. Somebody had to show up during the filming of this thing and say, "ummm dude what are you shooting? The death of my profit margin this movie SUUUUCKS."

On Think Hero's Youtube channel he talks about all these pregnant pauses in the movie between lines, and what I'm wondering is were those T bag pauses? I mean was he having the actors pause at those instances to say here, these are my testes I want them all in your mouth for watching this trainwreck of a movie, and actually paying for it. Is this M nights cry for an intervention, has he lost his muse and is just churning out crap until somebody says dude here, this is the good weed, or here this is a project you can actually wrap your brain around to work out the kinks, because this should have been a cake walk. It's not like a comic book movie with a character that has been around for 50 years so there has been a million costume changes, character updates, artists, inkers, adaptations, successes, failures, favorites, most hated. He had the CGI budget(even if Opa's face looked like somebody ripped it off from Where the wild things are) which if all you were looking for was the elements moving around okay the elements moved, but at least to me it looked like it was an afterthought. Like even though this was the entire thing that made them distinctive from other martial artists(and even in the world of Avatar: the last airbender there were other types of martial arts) he still found a way to focus solely on the martial arts and damn near completely try and ignore the powers.

I mean I blame this on Hollywood completely I see a lot of movies lately where they completely ignore what it is we like about the characters to try and tell us some story based on some wet dream they had when they got somebodies money to make a movie. It isn't the subject matter they are trying to bring THEIR VISION to life, to hell with the subject matter without them IT doesn't exist. Yeah well without the viewers your ability to make a sequel doesn't exist.

So yeah once again Fantastisucked, it's a word introduced by marvel in the Ultimate Universe and it DEFINITELY describes this Travesty

Thursday, July 1, 2010

The plan for the weekend

I rarely do this for an important reason:my plans usually get shot quick, I'm talking high noon in the old west quick. But I as usual wanna see if I can write something down and then bring it to fruition.

I plan to go see The Last Airbender M.Night Shamalan's movie based on the cartoon Avatar:The last Airbender. I have always been of the mindset that you will see the doorways into our future with the entertainment the kids watch. Lucas, Roddenberry, Cameron they all grew up on those old flash gordon serials. And look at how far they pushed imagination and movies. And if JJ abrahms Star Trek remake is any indication Roddenberry hasn't done a half bad job of inspiring the future either. Also Animation has really gone to new heights I didn't have a problem with the astroboy movie I thought it was pretty good. DRAGON BALL SUCKED, Speed racer was pretty good. I've done reviews for many of them(Yeah Yeah I owe yall a karate kid review, may have to go watch it again to make sure I don't misrepresent anything) again my review is not like anyone else's I'm not going to say the movie gets X amount of stars did I like it yes or no, why and do I think it's worth the price of admission.

My main problem with professional reviewers is it rarely seems to be about the movie and a lot of times to be about their own personal egos if they couldn't do or imagine better it sucked, if they could Oh it was great. And you'll watch them and basically want your money back because they have no integrity, I remember that old John Lovitz cartoon called the critic lets not say he was making fun of them all but he was making fun of them all and the only movie he liked had really no plot, no story it just followed a balloon around. It was supposed to be an art film but honestly how many of us really want to watch an art film not a drama, or action movie, or comedy? oh well time to make the martini if I feel froggy I'll post on ply or else traipse back here

Friday, June 18, 2010

Am I my brothers keeper

Now I know this line has been used in two movies and neither of the people using it were very good guys. When Nino Brown answered G money about this he shortly thereafter put a bullet in his brain (New Jack city). When Julien said it he was basically about to kill you. But what happened to this sentiment? I mean I remember when I was a lot younger we actually used to try and look out for each other. You could trust a neighbor to watch your kids, you could trust an associate at work to either pay you back or lend a helping hand when you were in trouble.

But now, oh hell no people are too ready to let you take you licks, their licks, stomp on your heart and then laugh in your face. I keep seeing more and more instances of minorities spitting on minorities, of people who may for all intents and purposes be mostly the same on the outside except maybe political affiliation, sexual orientation, or socioeconomic group at war with each other in instances where just looking at it objectively you would think a sane person would say no way I couldn't treat another person that way. I mean we complain about PC all the time(politically correct) but when you look at it the advent of PC seems to have also been the precursor to a lot of pent up animosity. It's like now that you are expected to talk to someone civilly you are going out of your way to be abusive, spiteful and vindictive. I mean if there is a devil he has to be on the longest unemployment streak ever because who needs an embodiment of evil when many of us are fully willing to let loose the evil in our hearts without much coaxing.

I mean is there a shelf, is there a shelf that when you see a situation that most would agree if you were in it you would like a little compassion that we say hmm, I don't like this person too much or hell I don't even know them so they should get all this excess punishment so that when it's my turn "the barrels will be empty and maybe I'll get off with a lighter sentence" which is immature at best self destructive at worst. The saying is all black people look alike, actually to be honest all people of color look alike to some folks. So if you allow that person to wail on one person of color, it becomes acceptable and once it becomes acceptable exactly why are you safe now? People in law enforcement are human, they have bad days, they get frustrated, hell they even have ulterior motives. I am not requiring them to be perfect because I myself am not, what I am requiring though is they follow the rules, and just like anyone else if you let them bend or break the rules "because they have a hard job" where does it stop? Exactly when have they gone too far?

Now as a person of color of course I have good and bad memories of police officers, in my current occupation I deal with them a lot. I have known some good cops, I have also know officers who you can tell they are just doing this because they love the power the job gives them. Before they got the badge and gun they may have been a door mat, but now walk over me if you want to, I'll put a bullet in you. And that isn't why they were given the badge, I believe there is a need for police officers and law enforcement I also believe that to be in law enforcement you have to have the compassion to understand in certain situations I not only have to be impartial I also have to guard my temper well. Because I represent something larger then myself and most times if people see me it isn't a good time for somebody.

I mean being in law enforcement isn't an easy job, but then again is that the ONLY hard job out there? To coddle officers because "they have a hard job" when they break the rules (and mainly against minorities) are we really saying they are having a hard job or are some people saying yeah do what I myself can't do to so and so because I'm scared, I don't think I would win so as long as I have the threat of calling the police and they see the police as executioners or bully's and not impartial stewards of the law IF I ever get a chance to call them we both know what they will get.

Again the minorities with no compassion I think are sad, because I really do believe in Karma, and Karma isn't cute or kind. It almost always has a chance to come back and bite you when you act like yeah so and so DESERVED to get that, or if only they didn't act such and such a way.  There are plenty of ways to excuse bad behavior but it is still bad behavior, if I'm not allowed to something take a persons life, restrain them and beat them to a pulp, gang up on them and "give them whats coming to them" then neither are the police. Not only that but as the police are law enforcement they already know that, as I have often said they should be punished more harshly not given leeway. Of course they are only killing minorities like that, we all see stories where whites are given so much leeway that its like wow, pedro, raheem or mustafah would be in a body bag 5 minutes ago. And I hate to remind you but if you aren't white all they see is PEDRO, RAHEEM and MUSTAFAH so it would be in your best interest for them to get a fair and impartial response from the police then a boot on the neck because you turn or a family members turn can and will come and you really don't want that type of rage release coming your way. Been at the end of those it ain cute, it's really painful and the amount of hassle you have to put up with especially if you don't have proof on your side is best not experienced.

And those who wanna say just obey the law please, there are so many While Minority offenses out there that there is no defense. There is no way to avoid police interaction because then they wouldn't be doing their jobs they are supposed to keep "the people" safe, except to most folks that means WHITE PEOPLE. and it is sad that we have allowed ourselves to still be bogged down like that. There are now so many cracks and gray areas for criminals to hide in because sections of the community don't trust the cops. I mean how are we safer if we have created places where criminals can exist without fear of punishment?

I've said my peace for now(but I'm sure I will again) you can agree you can disagree but the really is a simple question, would you want that to be you?

Sunday, June 13, 2010

What is it about the mirror

As usual as I read blogs on the internet, twitter posts, online articles(I haven't picked up a magazine to read in quite some time), watch TV interviews, or even read newspaper articles I am noticing the continuation of an alarming trend. Black people really can't stand each other. Oh there will be plenty of those fake smooches, hey homey hugs, and fake caked up grins but the look in the eyes is soulless. And I am calling it a continuation not a new thing because the battle lines have always been there since the beginning of our time here in the Americas. I mean back in Africa like any other society yes there were tribal/sovereign wars. I say sovereign because at the times of the Greek and Roman city states you had people fighting. I mean Athens vs Sparta, were they not all Greeks, while no longer what we would consider tribal because of their advanced infrastructure and instruments really what is the difference between the people of Sparta and a tribe in South America, or Africa(or even France, Germany or England/Britannia at the time) honestly not much except technology.  So yes the tribe of Sparta did not like the tribe of Athenians and they fought for superiority, land yadda yadda. Oops going off on a tangent let me get back on topic.

I say here in the Americas because when we got here those tribal bonds were stripped from us, our initial languages, knowledge of who and where we originally came from, ancestry, everything. So if I'm originally a Bantu and your a Mandingo and we have so old cultural animosity we probably don't know about it. No the fights we have here were from perception, you were in the big house so you must have gotten better treatment then me in the fields. You know how to read and write, and how to count I just know how to trick master into thinking I have more in my basket then I actually do. This should be allies against each other trick while old as time was really used to perfection here in America. Rich land owners convincing poorer settlers to fight for their rights to own slaves because they were better then the slaves, even though if the slaves were being paid like those poor white settlers wanted to be paid there would be no need for slaves because the only benefit to owning a slave was FREE LABOR. By pitting the House Negroes vs the Field Negroes you had a black person who might be family to someone outside or else at first might have been trusted giving you valuable intel on the goings on outside because they see a black face and figure hmm he probably wants to escape like me. Only for the House negro to be under the misconception of the house belonging to both of you(yes a common delusion).

You move forward you have those who decided to be share croppers versus those who decided to become tradesmen. When they get their freedom some resort to all they have known(the fields) while others want nothing to do with their former oppression and go off to learn what it is they are allowed to in this world. Then you had the bougie versus the more down to earth. Those who only believed in the benefits of mental pursuits:being doctors, lawyers, professors while others saw the need and honor of being engineers, craftsman, architects. Neither side was wrong in their beliefs but as if the other side was trying to twist a dagger in their ribs they took it personally like ONLY their way of thinking was the right way. Fast forward again my favorite stupid arguments of Light skin vs dark skin, natural hair vs straight hair, short low cuts vs high afros or dreadlocks, corn rows or braids. Oh yeah weave/wig/lacefront vs regular relaxed or pressed hair vs natural short or bald hair and of course skinny/petite vs thick/fat.

Honestly what is really the point in these fights? I mean do you really feel that threatened by another person expressing their individuality that it makes you doubt or question your own? When did it become a requirement that to feel good about "me" that everybody had to be like me, everybody had to agree and hop on the bandwagon of my sensibilities. I read a blog recently where a woman decided that she wanted to go after big women, she herself was either petite or just skinny, and the kinda part that made me laugh was she said "the guys who date big/fat women have low self esteem" of course she had admitted before hand that the guys weren't looking in her direction. Black men like fat chicks and because they liked fat chicks not her THEY had low self esteem, yeah nope not how that works. If you are the one left out, it's your self esteem that is taking damage not theirs because I am sure if they are happy as the saying goes why am I even worried about you.

A few days before that I read a blog about an entertainer who, as seems to be the norm lately, decided he wanted to take some black women to task for being materialistic, not deciding to give him any before he became rich and famous, and not submitting to all his wishes yadda yadda before he had the dough. Now he did not ONLY go off on black women, but he did start it out that way and to make matters worse he also committed the death sentence sin of REPEATING the feelings of a relative who regaled him with the joys of dating a more submissive white woman. Now I have no problem with interracial dating if its based on love, but if you love the white woman why you bashing sistas, I mean did they clown you that badly. Sheesh if the only reason you are with me is because you can't have so and so to act like you want them to then bye. That's really how I feel I love black women, I love chocolate black women, I always have now do I find some caramel women attractive yes. But if you asked me who I am going to ask out first you will see a long line of chocolate with some caramel sprinkled in. Now if you ask me if someone is pretty yes I will say yeah so and so is cute, doesn't mean I would ask them out but I can appreciate their beauty. The majority of my conversation when I talk about what I like is not going to include them UNLESS YOU ASK ME A QUESTION SPECIFICALLY ABOUT THEM, and then once I'm done answering that questions it's back to what I like. The entertainer also mention how black men needed to step up and how black folks had screwed up priorities. But the author of the blog ignored those because she had an agenda. She wanted to bash a black male, who happened to be a rapper(I mean I don't like his rhymes either but as I said if I ain into your offerings I just don't deal with them I will only voice my displeasure when asked about you specifically), as well as go off on the exact same females that he was. But her complaint was because HE went off on the females. Exqueeze me? I mean how can you complain that a dude is going off on black women and then join the chorus of going off on black women that you yourself do not deem worthy?

Of course there are blogs on the state of black women on welfare, the constant stories about us black males and our wayward natures and our absenteeism during father hood yadda yadda yadda.  And most of these problems stem from some pretty simple things: I don't want to admit what I myself screwed up on, or that choices I make are not in my best interests. Lets be real here if you have a man, got that ring on it, and are really that stable in your relationship exactly why are you taking joy in rubbing it into the faces of females who have yet to reach where you are? I mean are you only happy if other people are miserable and if so does that mean that the person you are SUPPOSEDLY in love with really ain doing it for you? I mean I do get mad about things sometimes(mood swing are horrible when you are a Capricorn and rage comes so easily) but I get mad about things that effect me, I may feel for your situation but I gain no joy out of your misery, I mean if you committed some ultimate act of stupidity I may laugh at it, but I will feel empathy to your situation and move on. Past some swift venting my life and day is not improved by constantly harping on your deficiencies. But that's me I have somewhat a sunny disposition when it comes negatives(well I do now before whew was I a gloomy soul).

And the big versus skinny debate man, now maybe it's just the women I see but most big girls I see have rings on their finger not all but a larger portion then of their skinnier buddies. Now with all those stories of these highly educated, slim, "GOOD" women out there who are single and can't find a mate the fact that many of their BBW friends are getting not only dates but rings has to be a huge ego shot. Does that mean that BBW women are not educated nope, I know plenty of large women with degrees. Does that mean as was posited in the blog that those black men have low self esteem nope, they may just like bigger women, I mean I personally do. And while I myself ballooned up to like 300 and something, when I was a stocky 245 I loved me some thick or big girls I just did. I like thick thighs and big butts, you have to have a nice sized chest too but Mix-a-lot was my theme song. Me and BBD used to have problems because I always trusted a big butt and a smile, quit calling my baby "Poison" or else we gon fight. So what is it about not being my personal choice that makes you so special but me so wrong, oh wait I know what it is, because now there must be something wrong with you. I mean I have a friend mike back in the mid 90's we used to have a running joke, for a while chocolate brothers would be in especially if Wesley Snipes or Denzel Washington had a hot movie out, but for a while all the hot new singers coming out were light skin: Al B sure, Christoper Williams, and of course you had Prince. So a couple times a year yeah us chocolate brothers would be in, but you know radio gets air play all day. So light skin brothers would be cheesin hard because the ladies would just be loving them. So the running joke, oh I guess chocolate's in huh or hmm looks like they want yall undercooked bruhs(red bone, light skin whatever I wanted to call him).

No we were friends and as such messing with each other was part of the landscape. But I wasn't jealous of my dog because just like some ladies loved him, some also liked me I may not have always gotten the lady of my choice but hey maybe I was just more adult then others but does her opinion not matter, I mean must everyone cow tow to my little chocolate desires for life to work right? If so exactly what is wrong with me, I'm no psyche major, psychiatrist or psychologist but it doesn't take a degree to see when something is extremely wrong with a persons mindset. You are mad at someone else because you do not like the type of people who like you. Hell even more to the point maybe you don't like you, and because of this you want someone else not to like themselves. Call me Mr. Sensitive(anybody laughing and choking right now trust me, I will find you and the side you are more used to will give you exactly what you want) but when I listen to my friends of all shades of the female persuasion I notice one very important thing. Many of them have been convinced that somehow who they are isn't good enough. I mean yes if you look even half good, have a little booty on you and some cleavage the hounds will be on the hunt. But oddly enough if THAT guy, you know the one who just melts their entire essence with a single touch isn't looking their direction instead of saying oh well his loss they actually take it as a fault within themselves. And it appears to be a common theme with most, and I blame it on the rest of us society as a whole.

As a guy for the most part if you don't like me, I flip you off and keep on with my day. If you are gonna do something bring it, somebody will win somebody will lose but we will respect each others position at the end of the day. If you don't bring it back again until you feel it's settled granted that seems old school but it's better then the current alternative, one of us brings a gun because we want to "steal" someone else's respect not earn it. It takes a lot of courage to put ya hands up whether you know you will win the fight or not and give it all you have. If you don't like who I'm dating you can voice you dissent until you start getting disrespectful and then we have a problem. Again it's what I want, like and desire. I can't live for you or by your likes and dislikes we may not agree.Women on the other hand seem to be forced to have to live by some consensus. The lies they tell themselves and others to try and gain acceptance is sometimes comical, and I say lies because by some of the men these women date if they are looking for a good man they are blinder then Stevie Wonder. Now if they are looking for a cute man, tall man, built man, rich man yadda yadda hey they have 20/20 vision because they always seem to be able to find somebody who meets those characteristics. Which if you care makes you wonder are they just saying what they think people will accept? The answer is yes, you want who you want. Period, you really don't need to explain it, especially if you're grown.

And another thing women always claim that "you can't trust a woman", which if true means that all these "girl power" moments are just traps that they are falling into because in actuality their "so called" friend is just out to eliminate the competition. Which is sad, now this is not all women hell some are completely willing to be a genuine friend they hope you are happy, that you find the person of your dreams and have few major hardships(not none of course because hardships build character and strength). There are so many of the devious ones though, people who entire existence is only fueled by your misery. They bash you behind your back, use "constructive criticism" as a means to rip you to your face. There are way too many women like this, they care not for their sisters they care only for themselves and the pedestal they hope you will build for them because THEY are the alpha female, the important one the predominant one in the group. Rarely are they actually the alpha female because when push comes to shove once you get past their bluster they have nothing to offer, which is why they scream so loud, they hope that they can get a large enough crowd to make the fight to get to them so daunting that you never undertake it.

Now guys aren't innocent in the devious machinations but once we figure out what ya goal is, we know where and when to let you in. Male relationships are all about positioning are you me ball till we fall dog or just the one where if you can get something you desire out of it you've got my back but once your needs are fulfilled I'm on my own. Are you the type who is smiling in my face but is just waiting for me to turn my back so you can attempt to slit my throat? *Devilish grin* as men we learn all these types early and learn different ways to deal with those many layered relationships.

There is also this crazy "hate/hater" thing going around. Ladies and gentleman you do not have to like what I do, you really don't not liking what or how I do what I do is not hating. Spending the majority of your time talking down to me or ripping what I do is hating. I do not like the majority of the music played on the radio today. If asked about it I will voice my displeasure, but that's the only time I will mention the people who get the majority of spins on commercial radio. When I talk about music, again, I will focus on the type of music I like. That's not hate, do not be so thin skinned that you can not accept someone not thinking like you do there is nothing wrong with their being a dissenting or even differing opinion. If nothing else you should enjoy talking to that person because sometimes it allows you to see a new angle of your own ideals. People also need to understand that somebody can actually be hating on you while patting you on the back, those are the real haters. People who do not appreciate or accept what you do but because there are spoils that you are willing to share run to the front of the line and trip others to make sure they get their and possibly someone else's share. Their greatest joy is becoming you're most trusted compatriot because then they know they will be taken care of even while they help others to either restrain you or work against you.

I have this motto, silly to some but one of the truest things you can ever learn "You will either love me or hate me in between people will get you killed". I say this because if you love me, I know what you will do for me, you know what I will do for you and we understand what our relationship entails. It isn't about who gives the most but that if I have it I know you will get it and if I don't I will give what I can to make sure you can at least make it a little further until things improve. If you hate me hey I don't like you either, lets do what we gotta do if we have to work together fine lets get this over with and get back to where we need to be.

Those they ain sure folks though MAAAAAAYNE they are a trip. See when times are good they will be all up in ya face, they will be hanging around getting what they can get, glad that your resources not theirs are being spent. Now if times get hard, oh they may still hang around if it's the light hard if it's just a drizzle because you know if the sunshine pops right back out well "hey it's party time again, let's get it in". Let those clouds get really dark though, man they are gone you will have a hard time keepin ya eyes on them they are running away so fast. Which if you had falsely lead yourself to believe they had your back you are about to be sadly mistaken. I don't like sometimey people, most likely you will get in my way while I try to prepare for what is ahead, you want to talk alot you want attention but you have no clue what to do with it when you get it. You may be a great distraction if I can position you where you have no clue the position you are putting yourself in. But if I am required to clue you in on the plan I would prefer you were gone. Most likely the second you feel threatened you would give us up and hope that they leave you alone. Your only use is that as Sun Tzu's false spy, the agent who is given all the wrong information so that when captured he can lead your enemy into the trap because in all their heart they believe they are telling the truth. And sincerity is a great commodity when you are trying to fool an opponent.

I often tell my brothers that they need to play chess not checkers, or even poker. And all the best poker players will tell you:YOUR CARDS MEAN NOTHING. you cannot make a single dime with the cards in your hand. Simply put if you have a royal flush to start yes you will win but if everybody knows it they will fold and  the tops you might get is the pittance that is the blind. which is rarely a lot of money, and if it is it isn't to you because if you have that high a blind you obviously have enough money that it is pocket change to you. You have to play your opponents hand, you have to make them think their hand is either better or worse then it is so that you can control how they bet, how long they hang around and how much they will bet in the next hand. It's an interesting ballet to watch even on TV, you will see the subtle fakes and flourishes to get their opponents to second guess themselves, to say hmm naaah he wouldn't hang around if he didn't have crap would he? Would he? Never be the first to show your strength, it allows your opponent to plan better then you, never let your opponent know your weaknesses than better allows him to lead his attack, never allow your opponent a free breath, it gives him a chance to think.

Too many people(doesn't matter what color you are) are so worried about what someone else might have that they ignore that which they already own. The fail to appreciate the joys that some of them have attained that others are still working for. I laugh when I hear tales of what"ONLY BLACK PEOPLE DO" you know like the lies that only we focus on sports, when I look at see just as many white kids at football camps as I do black, if white kids did not focus on football how is it that the NFL is still filled with mostly white quarterbacks, and offensive lineman? Still plenty of white linebackers out there and tight ends. I don't notice a lot of high school chess tournaments on TV. How only black people think music is the way to greatness, yet I see all those old men with guitars and garage bands with their long hair and surfer attitudes.

Are there prejudices all around and stereotypes yes. The important thing though is to use your eyes and not someone else's see the world for what it is and decide for yourself what you path is. Some people may or may not like you, they may see you as a threat not because you in any way shape or form chose to harm them but because they cannot see how they can defeat you or achieve what you have with the same amount of effort. Respect what other people like, them not liking you is not a knock against you it just means they themselves have different preferences. Hell do you even like them? Learn to love yourself enough that someone else not appreciating the beauty that is you is not such a knock you your confidence that your entire world comes crumbling down.

Da dit duh Daaaa duh duh DAAAA

So the a-team movie was awesome. Yes it was, Rampage jackson(who even looked a little kimbo sliceish for a while in the movie) was as close to the cartoon character Mr. T had created himself to be as he could be, and it worked.  Big explosions, mad cap humor, 2 hours of complete insanity. I mean was it perfect perfect no(I mean no Mr. T and no George Peppard those two just wow you tuned in to see them just be them. How was Mr. T gonna whoop somebody next and what insane costume was George gonna meet the next potential customer in) it was always gonna be impossible for this movie to be perfect because like many other ensemble casts you had magic and lightning in a bottle when you put George Peppard, M R that period T, Dirk Benedict, and Dwight Schultz together. I don't think I missed an episode, they were the original Macguyver's the former army soldiers (rangers in this movie) being chased by the government for a crime they didn't commit(actually let me look up the real intro):

In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team.
So lets break down the characters(because this one is going to be hard as hell not to give out the plot points if I actually talk too much about the movie):

Col Hannibal Smith- originally played by George Peppard. Hannibal is a white hard, strategic genius his plans are always so intricate and detailed that even when you THINK you have his A-team surrounded and defeated this cigar chomping old man is smiling and waiting for you to turn your back which is right where out come their impromptu weapons and you left wondering exactly how you just lost. Liam Neeson, as this is the "intro movie" this shows you exactly why they become soldiers of fortune(and I liked the update it went from the Bank of Hanoi mission in vietnam which would have worked for the 80's to stealing back the printing plates from Bahgdad in the current gulf war). Hannibal can somehow get this ragtag band of soldiers who except for BA you would think wouldn't be worth a damn in a fight to be the most successful unit in the Army Rangers(they were green berets in the show). 80 successful mission over 8 years, so good that the body count on the american side on their mission is always negligible(actually since it's usually just his 4 man team it's non existant, they may get a few bullet wounds but they are all walking talking and laughing). He had his cigar, he was hard nosed, he was jovial and he lulled you into a false sense of security right before he snapped the trap shut. But hey it's Liam Neeson, he was the safest pick for this movie there was no way Qui-Gon Jin was gonna mess this up. And yes big cigar in his mouth lit, with a pearly white smile "I love it when a plan comes together"

Lt. Templeton "face man" Peck-Dirk benedict played the always charismatic, slick, smooth, could sell an eskimo a fan, refrigerator, and bikini/speedo while getting the prettiest woman in the village into his bed. I don't care what attitude you came into the show with about the a-team by the time you met Face you loved the team. Now the original face REAAAAALLY tried to stay out of the fisticuffs yes he would pick a gun up but when it came to a fist fight, hey he had his pretty face to protect. Great conman you kinda didn't want him in a fist fight though. Bradley Cooper did he have the constant tropical tan: check, was he cool as the other side of the pillow: check, did panties drop around him like snow, in green bay, in the winter:check, was he pretty much useless in a fistfight:crickets.  This army ranger isn't afraid to take a punch, and in this movie they seem to have a new catch phrase (they still have the original) Alpha, Mike Foxtrot. Just watch the movie the translation breaks the rules of this blog. The fact that face has turned his prison stay into basically a resort in the movie is comical.

Hector M(Howling Mad) Murdock-Dwight Schultz played the insane genius pilot if it went in the air Murdock could fly it.I mean it's murdock he was completely insane from the puppets, to his improv moments where he would be standing there acting like some historic figure and trying to find new ways to get BA to kill him. He's kinda what made this show so different from the others, every mission you had to go get him from the psych ward of the VA hospital. And the way he would go from straight looney tunes to saying something serious and actually on point, HILARIOUS. Sharlto Copley I mean yes this role could have made or broke this movie only because you really had to enjoy being insane. Murdock used to take a lot of damage in the show because he was crazy so the crazier it was the more likely Murdock was completely down to do it. In the original Vietnam drove Murdock crazy he was shell shocked thus always in the VA hospital, they really don't go into why murdock is crazy in this movie he starts that way and stays that way. But he is a great pilot the stuff he does in the air, and just like in the show the way he talks to BA, it's like dude you're a little wispy looking talking to these being mean pitbull looking guy. It looks like he's gonna rip your head off, and yet there murdock is every time messing with BA.

Bosco Allen (B.A./Bad attitude/Bad Ass) Baracus- though the TV show said bad attitude, it was TV at the time you couldn't call him what we all called him in our living rooms. Mr. T was larger then life, the roles you saw him play he was what everybody thought of when they said Big tough black man. He was the reason you hid your daughters and said "baby don't go to the black neighborhoods". While a really likeable guy, that voice, that demeanor, just that character that was MR. T was wow. I mean I don't know if you could really call it acting because BA seemed to just be Mr. T being himself on screen, he wore tons of gold chains, had that trade mark snarl(except for around kids BA's heart always seemed to melt around kids), and the amount of fools he pitied "I pity the fool" I swear you couldn't get past pity before you had a crowd of folks joining you to finish it out. Didn't matter what you were pitied for, we just pitied the fool. Okay the character BA was a master mechanic and machinist. If you gave BA a plan and some parts he could build you a howitzer out of some old pipes and a leaf blower. I won't lie this was the character I worried about. There was just something about MR. T that we all fell in love with. I mean even in his word of warcraft commercials it's that scowl, the mohawk, the big arms, that I pity the fool attitude like he's still about to throw you out of the door. Quinton "rampage" Jackson had the unenviable task of trying to be the on screen version of a real life larger then life entity. Now I applaud them for getting somebody who was actually a fighter, not an actor who was built but a guy who spends the majority of his time training to kick someone else's behind. You can't fake the attitude it takes to really want to physically dismantle someone, you can tell when somebody is trying to look like they know exactly how to take you apart and when they know and are about to take you apart. I like how they explained away an airborne rangers fear of flying, It's all Murdock's fault, now he may not say "I pity the fool" as often as the original character did but with the "pity" and "fool" tattoos on his knuckles many fools got pitied.

This movie was a wild ride, from beginning to end yes as you see in the trailer they do pancake the trade mark van but they also do everything else you expect from the A-team. Big explosions, bullets flying, over the top antics. The director has earned his cigar and his "I love it when a plan comes together" I don't know how they will top it in a sequel (and I hope they will try) but "I pity the fool, who don't go see the A-team movie and you better stay after the credits fool". This may not be my childhood A-team but these soldiers of fortune, if you can find, are definitely gonna take you on a fun filled 2 hour ride

A few blogs rattling around

This may be another multi post night, it would have been a multi post about the A-team and Karate Kid but they were both sold out when I could have done both tonight so I got A-team in tonight and Karate Kid I will watch tomorrow.

I also have a blog in my head about the animosity I see between black folks some times. I mean I would act like I didn't know where it came from but I've been alive too long to ignore it, the "cries" may change but it really is as old as our stay here in these United States. Some of us are light skin, some dark, some of us are skinny some fat, some of us have natural hair some none or straightened.  The battle lines really aren't important the fact that we are still fighting is. And the worst part about it is the people fighting not only should know better but half the time are talking out of both sides of their mouth because one side fully admits they do know better. Now with who I am and how I like to go off sometimes the latter will be the harder blog to do here in no cussville, but I want to try and fight it out.

So if I am successful I hope you enjoy

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Insanity

There is this thought pattern that always drives me nuts. "I can say it but you can't", or "I can do it and you can't and if you do I'm gonna complain that you are doing it, while acting like I'm not". Now I am as human as the next person, so there are times that while I know I need to be calm in a situation my emotions get the best of me, and once you cross a certain imaginary line(or sometimes well delineated line) I am in full attack mode and I dare anyone to try and stop me.

Unless you are completely blind I am pretty sure you can see I am black, black from where you may not be sure but at least darkly complected nonetheless as such while I may not like somebody white saying the n-word (grr I hate that phrase but we all know that word is unacceptable and in my grown blog we do not use unacceptable words and yes I am mentally saying that like 100 times to stay within the freakin rules, did I mention I HATE RULES), there are contexts where I have to accept in. Say in a movie where the role calls for them to say the N word. Fine it's something the character would say, it's repulsive and probably meant to be repulsive gotta let it go. Maybe they are reciting a song, and if it is a rap song, well nine times out of time yup gonna be a few N-words dropped. F-bombs, B's, H's, and other colorful metaphors to help paint a picture. I used to reflexively scream hey, but now if your feeling a song and rolling with it they said it, your repeating it word for word who am I gonna be pissed at him or you? And in all honesty anger tends to cloud the issue anyway doesn't it?

I mean yes I use the word, and sometimes more often then others because it definitely does describe some people to a T of all shades, economic levels and ages. And some of the worst folks for this type of activity are "intellectuals" MAAAYNE do they do some of the most n-wordish crap. They just put on elegants suits to do it with, can I tell you how I really feel about all the words that have been buried? How about the pleas about the national debt now that a non republican is in office, or a republican complaining about the state of education when everytime one of them gets in an executive position of power the walk into work each day with a "how can I cut educational spending today" list. Not gonna make this a conservative bashing thread, Women complaining about not being able to find good men, but telling the nice guys if only I could find a guy like you when he's single. Let him be married though draws raining down in his face(well some guys faces, I don't even get a drizzle). My favorite statement women can't be trusted, umm excuse me but are those breasts and a vagina I see on you?

It seems like the only person allowed to engage in the "Sin of choice" is of course the "detector" you know that "moral" person who is pointing out everyone else's shortcomings because they themselves are such a bastion of perfection. (We will not curse we will not curse) Man I swear I knew this blog would be hard but this is getting brutal, notice how no names are mentioned maybe political affiliation, gender or .... yeah dunno how I am gonna be obtuse going forward so just roll with a bruh. I love flawless people just something about them brings out the most visceral parts of my jersey nature. I see all their veins, all their bruises, all their weak spots and I am coming for them(yeah yeah you thought I was a nice guy, I am nice not a push over, wimp or fool). Because flawlessness rarely goes past the very top of the surface, even in polishing something if you look close enough you can still see the smallest amounts of the either polishing liquid or the fibers of the polishing cloth. Maybe you see the direction in which it was polished when you tilt the object in the light. Then again thats why the flawless tend to be flashy and distant. You know you have to have exclusive privileges to get up close and personal to flawless. And by the time you get there most likely you have already drank enough of the kool aid to call those blemishes "distinguishing marks", see how quick that gets flipped. You go from being flawless to having distinguishing marks, you know a mole on ones face(yes it's a mole) becomes a beauty mark depending on the height. I mean I captain scar tissue have a few moles(at least I think they are moles, hell I have so many scars mostly healed scars, never healed scars long story I'm digressing BADLY) they are in weird places I think(I mean is there a such a thing as a weird place for a mole?) I mean on my face some of them might be deep black heads but the one between my toes is definitely maybe a mole, and the one on my shoulder

Slight digression: What is it with blackberry's lately it's almost like every one of them is on the fritz the last couple of weeks my battery won't charge it keeps locking up even if I clear the cache it decides to ignore signals even if it had 2 or 3 bars one second then all the sudden SOS like WTF. I want sooo bad to blame it on T-mobiles jankey shake tail self but it's blackberry's across the board almost every carrier. It's like may 2010 was the millenium for blackberry's. Grrrr

Back to the topic yeah got moles. Now I would LOOOOVE to call myself flawless, if I could get rid of this acne I have had since I could get acne(yall just don't know the crap I have tried) I would love to lie and say I wouldn't know what to do with my self but I would, I would just be me without the acne. I'm only intellectually vain, and slightly gaming vain(SHUT IT UP you deserved to get merced with a shottie at close range, between the eyes, while you thought you was safe and if you caught the C4 next time sweep the room or enable sitrep), but physically vain nope, never had it all together at any one time to be physically vain.

And in essence thats what it is though, vanity. "I'm that(big your ignorant sounding word here) you can't see me but wanna be me" you just mad because. And oooooh god will everybody quit swearing somebody is hating on them. I can disagree with you without hating on you(though sometimes I might hate you because you dumb as a bag of something bricks, not cursing DA's and no that doesn't stand for Dan Akroyd, or Dark Arts, or Death Adder, District Attorney none of that you know what it means)
 


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