And then you look down

Aaaaaah, long drive on a chilly afternoon and you bladder asks for a pit stop. You're in a slight rush so you pull into the nearest Wally World, you whip out the equipment, and release that pent up liquid. Now as the two urinals were occupado, you decided to use the handicap stall(because while you may like sci fi, you really don't want to relive the trash compactor scene from new hope while TRYING TO PEE), so as you are about finish your business you glance down and what do you see







That's right an empty condom box, I know what you're saying "Bull Puckey, I mean who would do that leave a condom wrapper in the handicap stall. That's probably not even the stall." And I could understand your skepticism thus I took: a second picture




And as you see in the second picture, Le Commode. Now take that oh screamer of "Horse Hockey", seriously you can't make this stuff up. Now my first thought somebody didn't have thhe 5-7 bucks for a box of condoms, but they did want to practive safe sex. So you slip the box in your pocket, sneak into the bathroom, open it and viola: the box and the inventory control device hit the floor, condoms go in your pocket, and tonight you and Mr. Happy are "Ready for the SHOOOOW".

But, this is the age of "the wide stance" so two guys could have gotten it on in the mens room with PURCHASED condoms, but I figure if you paid why not toss the box outside in the trash. Hell why not open the fresh box in front of your date so she/he knows they are new. Cause ya triflin Ahh didn't pay for them(replace the H with S') thus you were making your quick getaway.

Oh well, people can suck sometimes

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By the way I thought of the "Trojan MAAAAN" label after I  posted  it from the droid, in this instance it TOTALLY fits, Comedic GOLD I  tell ya

My new Crack

I want to thank the Wifey(my wife, you got a problem with the term it's yours she has the ring, had it for over a decade) for putting me on to these they are delicious and have good nutritional value. I can actually use these as a meal replacement and it will help me to get my vitamin and mineral count up. Bolthouse Farms I found these at Wally world tonight after originally trying the Chai tea and the Green Goodness on Thursday night. They're over 3 bucks a bottle each claims to hold 4 servings so divided by 4 thats equal a soda and way more healthy(lets say with tax here they were 3.50 a piece divide by 4 thats 87.5 cents). Only thing is as they don't make smaller versions it ain really something I can get easily as a junk drink replacement but hey it's a start.

I probably should have taken a picture of the backs as well(especially since the walmart shelves were so nicely spaced out so that I could take this lovely photo) that way I could show some of the nutritional information on the back. they claim to be Gluten free(which is good for a friend of mine, she and gluten are not BFF's), No Preservatives(which I like, just means I have to drink them quickly), No Artificial Colors, No Artificial Flavors, and No Genetically Modified Ingredients(I guess since we know the mutant foods and feeds are out there now this will start showing up more). In this instance tastes great and more filling is exactly what you want.

If you are looking for something tasty to drink thats healthier than soda, I think this MIGHT fit your bill.

Is it sad, sexist, or an oversight

While shopping at Walmart last night I happened to pass by the internal Mcdonalds(yes this Super Walmart housed a mcdonalds) on my way to get milk and yogurt(was a late night and why not be the good son/brother/employee and go the full long haul *sarcasm*) and I happened to notice these toys in the Happy Meal display case. As usual they break them up by the sexes so "masculine" action figures for the boys(my blog we are not having the dolls/action figure argument they're toys leave it at that) and more feminine fair for the girls.

My Buffalo Chicken sauce recipe

Now I have a few variations on my Buffalo Sauce, and want to make a few more the version in this picture used:5 squirts of honey, half a bottle of 20 oz hot sauce, 6 squirts of asian chili paste, about 3 tablespoons of ginger orange wok sauce and about a teaspoon and a half of smart balance buttery spread.

Basically add butter to a medium saucepan allow to melt, add in hot sauce, chili paste, honey, and ginger orange wok sauce and stir slowly to combine. When all the ingredients have combined(you will no longer see clearish patches of honey and will only see mild flecks from the sweet and sour sauce or the ginger orange wok sauce) turn the stove down and let the sauce simmer continue to stir slowly so that the bottom doesn't burn.

If you would like a little extra pucker along with the heat a few splashes or either lemon juice or Rose's sweetened lime juice will add a little extra flavor. Now if people are complaining about the heat add 2 less ounces(should be like 3 squeezes instead of 5) of hot sauce and a squeeze and a half less of the chili sauce. Increase the honey by Two squeezes and an extra tablespoon of either sweet and sour sauce or in the case of the pot above ginger wok sauce. That still leaves room for a fair amount of heat, and opens up your sinuses but it will reduce the "you're trying to kill me", "oh my God my throat is melting", "*weeeze* *weeeze* *weeze* whew I'm burning up" claims(and if you don't have people THAT overly dramatic in your life be thankful).

Okay I will post another recipe blog when I get a chance to try making it with Sweet chili paste instead of the normal, enjoy

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A quick look at 2011

I don't know what I can say about pacing yet since in all of 2009 I had 37 blogs, and for the most part to start 2010 I had like 5, but 25 isn't bad for the first 3 months. It means I've been posting, I've even gotten a few responses.

My lack of vacation may have slightly added to me not blogging, but I plan to spend my wifes birthday with her(its a surprise, my google analytics doesn't show me any GA hits so she doesn't read my blogs at the moment). Her birthday is March 30th. So on the 30th I will try to do a "Happy Birthday" blog, with pictures(and then summarily be killed) of my lovely wife.

I'm not as bad a draft monster(so far) this year as last, it looks like save a blog here and there the use of my phones, in combo with my puter has helped me be really productive blog wise(as I lazily lay back in my chair). Say phones and realize I haven't done my phone blog yet, yeesh I'm behind, and yet ahead. Hopefully by mid year im around 70 blog posts. I'm at 25(soon to be 27) now so if march sees even a post every 2 days clip that's still 32 blogs. Maybe more I forgot to look at the "super moon" last night(sucks to be me) this will be the 3rd one I've missed(I'm 36 so one happened after I was born, one after my 18th and now this one) oh well if the pattern holds that means I get 18 more years so yaaay.

That was a joke, anyway this was just a random shot about my productivity. Those who have stopped through welcome, those who have run away screaming "y'all come back now, ya hear". Nah I'm playing I'm not everybodies cup of tea, so if ya don't like it fair enough. I'll think no less of ya, okay now to post this and finalize my previous

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And another one bites the dust

That right there is the handle to my OLD braided resistance band, this now makes 3(okay technically 5 because I'm breaking the individual bands, not the handles) that I have broken. In one sense I get the good ol' "Hulk Smash" feeling because these bands are made to stretch and I'm popping them left and right(well a few months in), but on the other hand its annoying because well it screws up my workouts when I do.

I need to add some cardio to my workouts, I've improved my diet(for the most part today is pizza day, and I'm gonna put the smash on at least 5 pieces and some bread sticks) so I do have pics of a beer gut overhanging a slimming waist, I may post them later. I'll post pics of last nights dinner in a minute, I'm gonna have to figure out how many calories my "buffalo sauce" adds to meals. Its not the standard butter and hot sauce(actually I'll save the details for the blog on my dinner) buffalo sauce but still for caloric and fat reasons I need to figure it out. To slim down you actual abdomen you have to do situps and other bending exercises no two ways about it. Your overall shape may change with a regular workout and cardio but that midsection is a beast.

It picks up the fat quickly and don't want to let it go, I still have my love handles but like I said where my belt goes and my shorts tie that's slimming nicely. My face is starting to slim as well but my stomach, that's a whole different story, but it will get beat down. I will admit while this is not my first stint in a gym or time creating a workout plan it is a first time for me with actual weight to lose. Previously it was about definition or trying to gain muscle, granted the younger me was camera shy(okay camera aggressive, I hated taking pictures and save a few familial matriachs, would threaten camera holders) so there aren't that many photos of the slimmer or more defined me. But maybe this go round we can change that.

Okay that's pretty much all my thoughts on that I'll discuss my bufffalo sauce in my next blog and post pics

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3 straight long days

I know I've been absent but getting off at 11 pm every night is a beast, 12-14 hour days drain the hell out of you. I've been trying to get my work outs in even though I have been getting home so late we will see if there has been any progress, as it's been low impact without a lot of cardio the pounds won't be melting off but as the muscles have been working they are starting to feel tighter.

This will be a quick quick shot, just saying "hello, no I'm not dead, nor have I forgotten about my blog" as the saying goes Life happens(or in this case work) so I'm alive a little beat down but that has never stopped me before, and I do not plan for today to be the first time.

For those who continue to stop by thanks, I am glad you enjoyed the "weeping sword" and "I am number 4" blogs plenty of other reviews under the "Movie night" tag check them out. I didn't go to the movies last weekend because I was tired, I may go this weekend and check out "Drive Angry". Or an actual new release don't know yet, as this was not so much the case of the "lazy blogger" but more the case of, meh it's not one of the "Summer Blockbusters" that I was really looking forward to so why rush out.