Tuesday, April 26, 2016

The problems with Batman v Superman part 2

I have this thing about blog posts getting too long on a single page. I know I talk alot, I have a lot of theories, ideas, and points I want to make in some posts. As such I don't want you scrolling forever, in wordpress I would just add a nice little < !--nextpage-- > tag and boom keep on going, since I can't do that in blogger I try and break it up once I feel it gets too long. So let's get right back to:

Motivations Continued

I really don't think Wonder Woman would care about a picture of her. And again A picture of her can't be more important than THE ENTIRE WORLD BEING DESTROYED. So if it didn't phase her in Man of Steel, why does she care about Doomsday in Batman v Superman? She already chastised Bruce Wayne about boys not liking to play with others, why wouldn't she have stopped them from fighting? And if she is already in Gotham why didn't she talk to Wayne about his Bat Vigilantism if it was so easy to figure out, he was apparently a huge bully, and was possibly dangerous to the world for the last 20 years. I mean seriously, if it wasn't for his strict moral code people could easily see Batman becoming a totalitarian and a force who needs to be stopped.

The court room full of people trying to get Superman to explain why it is a bunch of people in Africa got shot has to be the dumbest thing in the history of the world. Seriously, the guy has lazer eyes, the strength to hold up or tear apart buildings, can fly into space, hit Mach "OMG how did he get across the world so quick just because he heard you threaten Lois from Metropolis", and run faster than a speeding bullet, nobody is dumb enough to think he went around shooting people. And by the way the court room scene, hes Superman he would have just flown the bomb out of the room. I don't care if he scanned for it, he's Superman, as it started to explode he would have flown it out of the building and drew all of the flames and force with him because Back Draft. No really, even if you tell me that he DIDN'T scan the room for any type of incident just because he showed up, people have been dieing in places that he goes, and well I'm invulnerable because nothing (That I know of) can hurt me, that doesn't explain why as the bomb is exploding he doesn't try to clear people out of the courtroom, remove the bomb from the courtroom, or as he hears the actuator trip do SOMETHING,
he didn't seemed to care and that isn't who Superman is. I can't see a senator calling Superman to the state capitol or the nations capital because some people got SHOT, when have you ever seen Superman hold a gun, who would listen to you if you said "a bunch of people near my village were killed by bullets and Superman was there," okay you know what my first question would be? "Did they die from bullets that ricocheted off of Superman?" To which my next day editorial would be, Superman keep doing what you are doing and who just stands there when they hear guns being fired?

Those Damn Dream Sequences

Seriously, I understand that it has been joked about for YEARS that you have to be INSANE to be Batman, but he isn't crazy. So yes, the "Bat Jesus" scene was awesome young Bruce Wayne being anointed by the flock of radar flying rodents was a supremely intense visual. and if they would have stopped there, it might not have started was is now a bad taste in your mouth. That one, okay I love it as a matter of fact it is similar to Nolan's scene in Batman Begins where Christian Bale finds out what his symbol is. So yes, the bats flying around Bruce Wayne in a circle is awesome and we all liked it. So when we go from the Bat Coronation to, Superseid and his killer army it doesn't really work. I am sorry, Batman marshals his mind at all times do you know how many people have TRIED to drive him crazy, mess with his mind, or break into his mind to confuse him? He has about 4 villains who's attacks focus on the mind(the aforementioned Mad Hatter being one of them) and they can never outwit him, and can rarely knock him off of his game for more than a breath.

So every time you want a "lets throw something in there but let's act like it DIDN'T actually happen" moment you use a ridiculous dream sequence. The first one being the Bat Baptism, The second I believe was Batman seeing the pit in the middle of what USED to be Metropolis with an Omega symbol cut in the center, he goes up to a truck with what he THINKS will be a boom tube in it only to be betrayed by the "Superman Army" that is flocked by Darkseid terror bugs or whatever they are called. By the way, Batman doesn't fear bats, he doesn't fear anything so no those things flying down weren't some figments of Batman's fear. And again, why the hell would Superman need people with guns to stop Batman, get him to an area where he isn't near an mech suit, or some Kryptonite and set him on fire. Now the NEXT dream sequence Eikichi seems to feel was just Miss Cut. The Flash shows up, somebody Lex Luthor has known about for a while know and once again Batman and the rest of the world is just hearing about.

So yeah Flash shows up interrupting the FIRST dream about Superman trying to kill Batman and a bunch of innocent people, flocked by Darkseid's cannon fodder, and just after he dies from deadly eye lasers. that he wakes up to see Barry Allen coming through some sort of portal, time displacement thingy, to give him a cryptic message, about who knows who or what, and for him to disappear. Yeah, if you watched the movie you will remember this scene goes like this "you were right about him, Lois is the key Protect her, wait, am I too early, you have to find us, bring us together" seriously, you have a few seconds to get everybody together and get a message out and THIS is what you do. There might have been another dream sequence but I don't remember it off hand.

Why are they fighting really?

No seriously, why are Batman and Superman fighting. Neither has the moral high ground of not killing, neither apparently gives too much of a damn about collateral damage, and once again neither really have a history together so two guys in that close a proximity to each other while I can understand the "two bulls in a ring" reference they really don't ever have to meet. I mean Superman doesn't even want to be Superman and Batman is on the verge of retirement. Other than having a blood lust exactly why would Batman want to kill him? What seeing all the good that Superman is doing doesn't sway him to maybe TRAIN or MENTOR the Man of Steel to be a BETTER SUPERHERO? And why doesn't Superman know that Batman is Bruce Wayne, the first time they meet he could have X-ray visioned who it was. In "The Dark Knight Returns" Batman and Superman WERE friends who went on Different Paths. They had 30 years worth of history together, Superman hadn't been killed by Doomsday yet(so that wasn't even thought of), and while Batman had retired, Superman went on to work for a Reagan look alike to "defeat problems before they arise" which of course had caused him to cut off the Green Arrows arm. That fight was earned, you understood that while one had given up the path and the OTHER had gone slightly off the path these were still two men who respected each other who had to make a hard decision.

And who just goes off to kill a perfect stranger? Batman is a DETECTIVE he wouldn't have gone after Superman out of emotion, he would have tracked him down, figured out who he was, figured out his motivation and THEN decided whether or not he needed to be stopped. Now maybe that doesn't fit into a 2 and a half hour movie, but you should have taken the time to do it anyway.  And seriously, Lex Luthor tricks Batman into stealing the Kryptonite that Superman doesn't even know exists yet? *ahem* Snipers bullet anyone? He doesn't know about Kryptonite yet, nobody does it is a new discovery, he wouldn't know to NOT turn his giant target of a chest towards the bullet to block it. You have a big secret that even the hero doesn't know about and you wait around for the Bat to do your dirty work for you? The bat who would have realized EXACTLY what you are doing and decided hmmmm maybe I should stop this since the BAD GUY wants me to do it. As good a job Ben Affleck did at playing Batman his Batman wasn't that great a detective. He was being lead around by his nose, the entire movie by basically The Mad Hatter and he NEVER figured out that he was being played. So yes, Zack Snyder Knew who Batman was, he just seemed to ignore some of the more IMPORTANT facets of it.

Supposedly Superman is faster than a speeding bullet, he flew Mach whatever to save Lois, and can hear damn near the entire globe, you telling me he NEVER heard his mother say a word? Really? And the CRAZY GUY who has found out the identities of EVERY Major or SOON TO BE MAJOR Super Hero on the planet, is standing 5 feet away from the GUY WHO KILLS, and you don't think he can be vaporized, Superman fly up to a high enough point to hear and X-ray the world, to find his mother BEFORE THEY HAVE TIME TO KILL HER. This guy kills, and you just tried to kill his girlfriend, hell he can fly to space VAPORIZE YOU, find his mother and MAKE IT HOME FOR DINNER WITH BAE. Seriously he's Superman, this guy doesn't just have God Like POWER he is the ultimate epitome of what we consider the greatest man with GOD LIKE POWER and he as no problem killing so yeah, YOU'RE Toast, YOUR TEAM is toast, and not even Batman can stop him from killing you FIRST. And the whole Batman as a detective thing, this wouldn't be the first time he finds out Clark Kent's mom's name is MARTHA.

Why is Doomsday in this Movie?

No seriously, I won't go as far as Angry Joe and The Nostalgia Critic and call him Nuclear Man(but WOW, do they make an EXTREMELY well thought out argument, nah seriously they do) but this is Henry Caville's second movie playing Superman and it is ALSO his second movie fighting somebody as strong as him. I mean I understand that we know that there is Zod, and the other Kryptonians and that Superman had a hard time fighting them in the first movie, but that's the POINT. We just saw Superman get his butt kicked, nobody actually thinks he is completely invincible yet, AND you are about to introduce Darkseid ANOTHER GUY on Superman's level. Like do you hate Superman? Every movie he is fighting some guy who is as strong as him and gets the upper hand to kick his butt. By the way, Kryptonite means NO POWERS, so DOOMSDAY would be weekend and SUPERMAN would not be flying to meet him, holding a Kryptonite tipped Spear, you know the same spear that was causing him to drown. Plus ANY Kryptonite in his system would be crippling for a while, not 5 to 10 minutes, like DAYS. Unless REMOVED, slapped inside a lead box, or MOVED FAR AWAY FROM HIM. And if he inhaled it(which has happened before) he USUALLY has to burn it out of his damn system. As a matter of fact in the COMIC BOOK it was a full like 30 minute fight and Superman was still a little under the weather the next day.

So both Superman and Doomsday would have been MORE than weakened and for a lot longer than the few seconds it took for Superman to get back with the spear(that he shouldn't have been able to fly with). Also Doomsday has a motivation:The guy who CREATED HIM looked a lot like Superman. He was a tortured being, held in some underground lab, dealing with a mad scientist, and that Mad Scientist looked like The Man of Steel. Not he was just born and Superman was the other guy next to the guy who created him, and looked nothing like him. And again this is the second time you see The Man of Steel in the DC universe, he isn't this UNIVERSALLY LOVED SYMBOL for HOPE. He's just a guy, in a suit, that kind of does good things every once in a while. He isn't the best of the Super heroes(nor is Batman by the way), he isn't the Sunny Champion we all know will be there, if we just hold on ONE MORE SECOND. We don't even know if we can count on him. Honestly Superman says in this movie: I'm not even sure if I want to be Superman, why are we killing him already? Zack do you just want to be the guy who KILLED SUPERMAN? Because honestly that is all you really accomplished in this movie, you didn't really sell me on some HUGE EXPANSIVE UNIVERSE. Yes you showed me some clips of a bunch of people, but those clips really didn't make any sense.


  1. the Flash's lightning doesn't work like that
  2. Aquaman is not a sea urchin, why is he lurking around a ship
  3. Didn't I JUST see Victor Stone on the field? How is he already on a drive being saved by his dad?
  4. If Wonder Woman was in World War whatever nobody talked about her?
  5. Seriously, the flash is faster than that. Especially just a BASIC STORE CCTV CAMERA
  6. Um what is that Victor Stone's dad is using to save him. Where did it come from?
It's not that I hate this movie

It' really isn't. I just hate how lazy they were with the story. Seriously, this movie provided you with awesome visuals and action sequences. The problem was there was no story to back you up. Superman flying to Lois's rescue awesome, the Batmobile looked great, The Bat Plane looked great, so did the Bat Mech, but so what, why do we need them, how did we get here? Why did they NEED to do that? Honestly Superman didn't have to land next to Batman, he was high enough to be heard without having to start a fight with him: Hey, Lex Luthor is playing us. He also has my mother Martha, I would prefer not to fight you but he told me either I bring him your head or else she dies. How about we stomp a mudhole in him and his boys? No, we should fight it out until I mutter my mother's name? Okay, I mean if that's how you want to play it.

And the Nuclear Missile to try and kill Superman, seriously you want to HIT HIM WITH A SUN? That made absolutely no sense, you tried to kill the guy, how you holding a memorial for him. And Kryptonite should have immediately crippled Doomsday, the whole Stab you after you stab me thing, yeah not gonna happen. Was the fight awesome, yup. Did it look crazy for Doomsday to keep changing his form as he got bigger and stronger, yes. I still think he should have been in Man of Steel 3 or 4. I also think you shouldn't have just showed a "blurb" about each hero, they should have had a movie for each of them and THEN had various news stories about them, maybe show them interacting with the world. A lot of this movie just seems thrown in, like "fine you want me to start off your cinematic universe I am just gonna jam all this crap in here and still find a way to tell a story, then again nobody cares about the story let's just jam everything in here." So yeah, the movie looks good. The costumes looked good, so did the vehicles, but why did we need them all? This movie doesn't tell you a story, it just shows you cool scenes. It's almost like you got a steady series of trailers not a movie, because a movie tells you a story as well as shows it to you. This movie just showed you, showed you in a pretty way, but it never told you.

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