Where is the love

Soooo I'm checking my voice mail today right, and there is this message for deletion that needs to be re-saved(yes I have been that gully in not checking my voice mail) and it's from one of the times that my mom was visiting my sister at the hospital right. I'm guessing since I hear myself on it that it's my moms phone in her purse. The thing is I had called my sister before I got in the room to pick my mother up and I guess when my mom saw my name pop up in my sisters phone it wasn't one of my normal nick names, noo it wasn't T, or Tom Jr, Older brother, Awesome older brother or even T2. Nope see that would be too much like right, what does my dear sick sister call me, who I was coming up to the hospital to see:

DARTH DRUNKARD oh yes, not only am I a dark lord of the sith but I am so NOTORIOUS for my love of the liquid courage that instead of some TERRIFYING name that will strike fear in the names of the galaxy I am called Darth Drunkard. Like I take a few shots of the old synthehol and I start
pantsing people or force crushing their testicles. I do bar wide panty raids where I use the force to remove women's undergarments. I would mention jawa punting or ewok frying but that actually does seem to be a normal sith habit so I will let that go.

To make matters worse I am finding out about this who knows how long after the fact, when my mother saw me that same night. Which means we could have had the whole Darth Drunkard conversation, but no I have to find this out who knows how many days later.

Oh wait the plot thickens it seems that rat traitor KITSUNE was in on this, my sister claims that HE is the one who suggested I must be a sith(Light Side for life, Obi Won Kenobi was my line brother) and thus must be Darth Something. See what I have to deal with, yall think I was playing with that other story, you people think I'm being all dramatic when I say I have a family full of hams and they have no mercy on anyone. That the whole "one eyed willy, all pirate jokes all the time" thing was an isolated incident, but oh no these heathens go in on me when I'm not even around. And as long as I don't know the hits just keep on coming. Do you know how many times I have called that heifer today trying to pick her up from the hospital, thinking that she loves her older brother for worrying about her.

Aww hell not, screw Darth Drunkard he ain nothing.

Just, just give me a moment. Not that I am plotting any revenge or anything, but umm if there is a battery shortage you ain heard it from me