WHy I wouldn't recommend being a nice guy/good man

There is absolutely no benefit in it. Let's be honest most women are the queens of the listen to what I say don't pay attention to what I am actually doing mindset. I mean from personal experience most who know me will admit yes I am a good guy, no that is not to say pushover yes I can be overly opinionated, strong minded, picky and determined(trying to find a way to say butt hole in a nice way to stay within the guidelines of the blog). I am still a good man though never cheated in my life, I go out of my way to help you hell sometimes out of my way, I am loyal to a fault, and as long as your with me you don't have to worry about being scared that I won't be in your corner.

And all that and 3 bucks might get me a cup of coffee on a saturday night ALONE. Why is this, because most women while to "protect their image" will claim that they are looking for a guy with my general characteristics I'm not who they are looking for. Now I'm not the handsomest cat on the planet, or the tallest(I'm 5'10 so I'm average height), I won't deny that I have added a good 50 pounds since high school, but I know I'm not the ugliest cat and I know as long as I feel you are worthy there is no such thing as me being a tight wad. I may not throw my money in everybody's direction but I will spend whatever on a cause or person who I feel is a worthwhile investment, period. I mean lets be honest, there are a lot of guys out here like me, intelligent, hard working, compassionate, kind, understanding and humble.  As I have said before the names for us are usually Herb, Cornball, Punk, Square, and Lame. The reasons are simple we believe in looking deeper then just ya bra size and your measurements and believe that you deserve to be respected if you have earned it.

Most guys like me feel that if I'm with a woman I think is beautiful and she loves me I am the luckiest man on the planet, I'm not trying to run out and prove I can get 50 women just like you I'm trying to find ways to spend more time with you and maximize the memories. What good is that I guess I mean if your not the top choice of a guy with a harem I guess that ain good enough. It appears that most women would rather have a guy string them along for years because he makes their girlfriends jealous(or wet cause he may just be with you because you and your crew of friends he is planning to hit are pretty) then be with somebody who actually wants to share the rest of their lives with them. Oh I know "successful" women can't find a man, no while some of these women MIGHT be successful some of them are overstating their station and current value. Not only that but they can't offer half of what they are asking for so really how you expect to be given a home run when you may only be giving a double is beyond me ie how you expect to get someone who will fulfill your wildest dreams when you may not even be able to meet that persons expectations halfway is foolish and immature.

I know I often fight with women on this subject for a simple reason, you want me to take you seriously as an individual yet you want to lump me into a group with your ex, some dude who you gave the time of day and wasn't worthy of your time, or the other "top choices" you decide to deal with but are constantly leaving you wanting for more. As has often been said the common denominator going forward in any relationship you are involved in IS YOU. Thats right ladies if you can NEVER find a man that meets your qualifications sit down and figure out if you meet your own qualifications.

Most relationships are about balance and give and take. While the "classic" role definition may not be necessary role definition is necessary. If you make more fine, you make more but if you don't want him rubbing your nose in how much more then you he makes, and how he is big time and your small potatoes remember that when your in the big dog position. If you don't want to cook and he doesn't have a problem with it you better have something you can bring to the table in it's place, make a mean martini, love the same team as he does something. Most women fall into a trap of they have a set resume they want their man to meet up with yet when it comes time to see what dude wants "well why can't he just accept me for me" and the answer is simple "because you want him to live up to your expectations". And that isn't a bad thing, or a petty thing at all that is as long as you can reciprocate.

If you like long walks in the park, quiet evenings, and a foot massage after a long day when he talks about wanting to go to a ball game even if it's in the snow you better wrap ya behind up and go with him. If he is willing to sit through a chick flick, you better go see at least one action movie or comedy. If while you know you want him close you know you want girl time, if you expect him to trust you until otherwise proven you better trust him. Because honestly the only person you are showing is untrustworthy is yourself, yeah I said it if your saying basically that when out of your sight he would cheat the only way you could think that way is if out of his sight you are doing stuff you know he wouldn't like.  And don't present some ideal woman you think he wants, be willing to find a man who loves the real you flaws and all. Somebody who you ain got to worry about taking your mask off and him feeling betrayed.  If a man can't like you for who you are he isn't worth your time anyway, ever wonder how guys can constantly get told no yet continue to ask women out. Simple we know when we find the right one it will be magical(if we're looking for the right one, if we're just looking for draws it will still be magic just for a shorter period of time, what would you rather I lied to you? Too bad I ain got time for that).

All this being said who still gets the majority of the phone numbers? Who when you ask them are women constantly making excuses for why they date instead of making excuses as to why maybe you just aren't there type? And it's kinda funny because many of the reasons given if a guy were to turn it around on a woman on she would be pissed. Because it has nothing to do with her and everything to do with what you think she will be like because of how she looks, and that is the same way she's looking at Mr. Nice guy. Because he isn't disrespectful he must not be strong, if you think about it though what takes more strength pushing people around so you don't have to listen to them or finding a way to get along and work with them even if you might disagree? Yet not realizing it is a condemnation of themselves women will complain oh well I will just walk all over him, yeah um that isn't a fault on his part if your like that you need to go work on you. Patience is the virtue not an overblown sense of self.

Well bad boys know how to "do it better" yeah okay, if you still ain getting off and he has a long list of things you want to try that he don't is it that he does it better or that he just takes you more forcefully and for that few moments he's there it's raw passion yet your still not fulfilled. Sometimes you have to respect that it takes time to learn what your partner does and does not like, just like it takes time to learn what you like. And if you are unwilling to show that person your probably don't want to be fulfilled, I'm just saying.

Oh yeah nice guys are too shy, well actually a real nice guy is trying to get to know you first, before he goes all out and lets you in he wants to make sure you are worth the time he is gonna dedicate to you, and yes I said dedicate. Because those bad boys who are running their mouths usually forget about you once they get what they want, I mean how often do you complain about a nice guy not calling you back and checking to see how your day is? I mean yes your still going to argue doesn't matter who you are in a relationship with you are gonna have a disagreement and you need to. You have to see if you can work it out with someone when you disagree maybe your right maybe he's right but right ain gonna keep you warm at night. Nor will it hold you as well as the other person will so you have to be willing to come to an agreement and stick to it.  You have to be willing to weather a storm or two together to see how you are gonna deal with the long haul.

I know I know it's a lot to think about, but then again if you want the best how are you just gonna walk in the door and get it without doing any research yes if you blind fold a monkey and give him a dart sooner or later he will land on the name Tiffany, Saks, BMW, or Mercedes but wouldn't you rather take you time and find it yourself and save a lot of time, hassle and heart break?

The emperor still has no clothes

I don't know about you but back in late 99, early 2000 I started investing for the first time. Now when I started invested like any other bright eyed and bushy tailed rookie I would watch the various financial channels, and hang on the commentators every word like it was gospel. I'm sure I'm not alone in this initial fascination with these people who are on TV and talk about stocks, bonds, mutual funds, and commodities. Now as I was listening, memorizing what they had to say, and takin notes here and that for stocks I might wanna purchase later I would constantly hear one phrase being repeated over and over again:

Do your DUE DILIGENCE before ever investing in a position

Wow I was amazed I was like hmm this must be important, so I treated it like sage advice. But as I started to take this sage advice I began to realize something if I did do my own research(thats what due diligence means) many times what they were saying on TV about the company and what I would come up with on my own would not match up. Now granted we can all read numbers differently, and maybe the info I got was just a better hunch on my part then what they got. But then I started to notice a pattern, it wasn't just off it was almost deliberately off. Some of the things they were saying were in essence meant to get people to react a certain way, as if they were being told what to say and how to present things instead of doing the due diligence as they were instructing you to do.

Now yes of course some of this can't be helped I mean some companies for the longest time during the early part of the 2000's were masters of the accounting tricks. It started with enron, then it crept into the housing bubble, and now it has fully reared it's ugly head in the mortgage crisis. And do you know what the funniest thing is, if you go back and listen to the "analysts" on most of the financial channels, they didn't seem to see a single thing wrong. They were all too happy to inform you about the new math and the new metrics, and how you could ignore old methods of capitalization and valuation because we were in a brave new world.

Problem with their brave new world, it seems math didn't exist in their brave new world. Okay that is slightly unfair math did exist just not 1+1=2 math or if jimmy has $5.00 and he goes to the store and wants to buy a few snacks and an apple costs .75, a bag of chips costs .35, a soda costs 1.35(remember when a soda was only like 1.00 tops with tax wow) and a pack of cupcakes is like 1.50(let's not even talk about cupcakes). well the first part of the question of course would be does little jimmy have enough. Now he's got 5 bucks looks like he should have enough right if he gets one of each he should be straight right be about 3.95. thats regular math, thats the math we would have gotten a 100% on in grade school.

Thats not the math they were using, because they would be talking about little jimmy having that same 5 dollars to buy those same items at that same prices but tripling how much he bought, and saying it's okay if we know he's only got 5 bucks because we're on that new math and mystically magically in a few days, weeks, months yadda yadda little jimmy will magically have turned that into a 50 dollar profit. Okay slight simplification on how he would have done it but NOT on the attitude. Now the fact that up until saaaaay february of 08 most of these guys had no clue how bad things had gotten were still talking up these companies who were about to tank due to credit default swaps, and being undercapitalized for the amount of debt they had taken on, you would think that they would be A sorry as all hell because the looked like grade A fools and B more vigilant about what was going on after that point. But no most of them had that same mindset immediately after the crisis hell many of them continually look shell shocked.

To make matters worse many of them still want us to believe they have some amount of expertise in the subjects that they are speaking. Ladies and gents if say me or you blew it as bad as they blew it we would be out of a job. You saw the coach of the detroit lions, hell the interim coach neither one could win a game all year they both got the axe, neither one of them cost their teams the amount of money the blunders in the financial market cost. I mean yeah the owner may look at his 3-4 or 500 million dollar investment with it's 300 million dollar payroll and think damn did I waste my money this year. But as the arizona cardinals showed(as did the stl rams, oakland raiders, tampa bay buccaneers, boston celtics, tampa bay rays, boston red sox and on and on and on) you can have a bad year, or a string of bad years and then the next year catch fire and whip either everybody in your path or everybody but 1 team. So you might dump the coach but maybe with the right leadership your players can go from bums to heroes. and if you did decide to give the current coach another chance humble pie would be his everyday dish.

Not the idiots on the financial channels, yeah they did some mea culpa's for a few days but as I was watching a promo for one of the shows(today it was suze orman but some days it's kramer, or maybe the closing bell yadda yadda) and she was like let me tell you what you and everybody else was doing wrong. And I'm looking and I say, um if the persons answer isn't " Listening to you suze" they ain learned nothing over the last few years. Because most folks were calling suze, or they were calling kramer, or they were tuning in to bloomberg, CNBC, Fox business what have you, only to get information from people who have proven to know no more if not even less then the people watching them. Because it seems for some of them the fact that they got to smooze with some of the big wigs they forget to check and see if the persons darting eyes looked energetic or nervous, was it actually hot in the room or was the person panicking.

I call this the emperor has no clothes because these folks are at it again. These guys are talking like they have all this expertise that you should listen to when, the time to have exhibited expertise has passed and these folks ladies and gentleman failed that test miserably. They weren't just surprised at the level of chaos in the financial world they had no idea how it had gotten there. I mean think about it if you did something every day or your life, and were paying attention to how things worked the ebbs and flows wouldn't you through nothing else but watching it over time see when things were maybe going a little off? Shouldn't you at least have had an inkling that hmm damn I mean I hope I'm wrong but this just doesn't smell right?

Or maybe I am expecting something else of these talking heads that is unfair, some common human decency and humility. If you screw up apologize and get down off your soap box and join the rest of the crowd as we try to fix the mess. Don't act like nothing went wrong and it's cool again for you to act all intelligent and high and mighty. Sorry you had your chance to be soothsayer of the economic world, but if your barely doing better then a dart thrown at the stock section of the paper why exactly should I listen to you? Everybody looks good when the market is steadily going up, only people who can guage whats good or bad, and will recover faster or not at all when this are looking bad get "authority" credit.