COD:Black ops Laced up, Locked and Loaded(11/17/10)

After doing the initial thoughts blog I've of course been playing, and playing lots of multiplayer, shooting lots of people, using C4, using Nova gas, using semtex, using the RC car, using napalm, mortar strikes. I've been an evil bastard, I will admit.

Okay so let's go boots on the ground with this:the options on the games are outrageous. Once you reach the required level to unlock the ability to do something as long as ya got the COD cash and are the right level buy away. I've bought C4 and claymore's(as my equipment), switched from willie pete's to Nova Gas, gone back and forth between semtex and frag grenades.

Why back and forth? Sometimes its better to have a frag grenade, the ability to roll towards a potential target especially if you cook it first(for those not familiar with the process of "cooking" a grenade its where you pull the pin hold it for a few seconds then toss it makes it harder to run away from) makes it devastating. Where as if you have a person potentially hiding by a door or wall a semtex grenada thrown against a near by wall might protect you from walking into an ambush.

That is also why I switched to nova gas from willie pete's if you aren't prepared for nova gas, the ticking away of you health saves me bullets. Plus somebody injured who walks into it might as well hang it up. Your dead fam, point blank period. The weapons are different then Modern Warfare 2, I miss my scar sometimes, but the Galil is nice. I'm using the AUG right now it does decent damage, has nice range, a large magazine and reloads in an OK amount of time, I may have to switch to slight of hand though. I'm just saying there are times when I could use that extra second or two.
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Aaaah yes black ops, somehow I completely skipped black ops II but I really did enjoy the first one on PS3. This was shortly after my 360 had died(salute *taps playing in the background*) and I had changed over to the "enemy camp" (yes it's in quotation marks because I am an old gamer, it ain about the system it is all about the games. And the shiny new blu ray player the PS3 now had me using). PSN(playstatin network) may have more users on their network currently(as PS4 has shipped more units than Xbox one/Xbone and with the already installed PS3 units even though the 360 won last gaming cycle) but Xbox live always seems to have a better interface. No online interface can be perfect because we all don't use equal broadband providers. Some of us are kicking along with 15 down and 1-3 up while others are dealing with 5 down and .44 up(that's mbps). I remember Black Ops one fondly, I just didn't pick up Black ops II not really for any reason. Just like I didn't get Call of Duty Advanced Warfare, I have Ghosts I just didn't pick up the next one at the time.

I will start another post about DLC(Down Loadable Content, I know download is one word but that is how it is written, don't shoot the messenger), season passes, and the like later. Some feel it is the bane of the current gaming cycle(end of PS3/360 through the Playtation 4 and Xbox one lifetimes) others see it as a POTENTIAL for expanding/extending the life cycle of older games. Like I said that will be another blog. I hope you enjoy this throwback post no matter how short it is

Why I love those little throw away reloadable credit cards

Ever want to make a donation, make a payment, buy something online, but are wary that your information will get into the hands of people who will worry less about your altruism and more about running off to spend your money on whatever. Well if you give them your bank account number they have access to pretty much whatever they want, can cause you an overdraft fee and basically can make your life a living hell fighting to get your money back.

With one of those little Walmart, Rush, Nfinanse, Green Dot, Amex, etc cards you can make your online selection, if somebody  just so happens to get that number and want to go ham, cut it up never put another dime on it and call it a day. That's it that's all, unless they want to run and load money on it for you(which you either need the physical card for or else you need the password to log online and punch in the reload information) and of

Spotify.com and why you should care

I don't know about you but I love music, I love to hear it, I love to chair dance to it, I love to make those awkward hand moves on certain songs when you just feel it. I tend to have a sound track running in my head as I get into various situations, I may not always remember the name of the group or the song but I will remember one of the two. If I don't I'll remember the movie or TV show I heard it on, usually thats enough to get it stuck in your head and drive you insane. Thanks to all of our digital devices we can stream music pretty much anywhere, thing is it's some "created by an arbitrary rating process" playlist that sometimes may hit the song you want but other times it just has you waiting for your favorite or hoping something new and hot comes on.

Spotify allows you to look up the group or the song(I had to use it for Brick's Dazz earlier because ahem too many things use Brick in the name) and as long as somebody has uploaded it on a playlist somewhere there you go. I'm not saying it's perfect, I'll critique the only semi annoying thing I noticed later on, but if all you can do is remember the song or the group and you want to see what other songs they may have that you missed there you have it. And while the occasional ad here and there on the free version may bother some, dude my first day using it I was in 80's and 90's hip hop heaven, a 30 second ad here and there while I'm playing every number 1 from high school pfft radio doesn't give it to you that good. Now yes some of the groups didn't have every song I wanted, but I can always go buy those cd's myself and ADD it to the collective(I need to add my desktop to spotify since that's where the majority of my music is) I mean how is a global music database supposed to work if we all don't contribute to it?

There is also a playlist feature where you can add songs to either windows media player(I'm on the Toshiba so I have yet to download anything else "news at 11" to if it will add to more than just WMP playlists) or create a spotify playlist within the application. You can also star songs to help rate them up, the "What's New" page also lets you see any new artists or album releases. If you use the ad version you will get a chance to browse albums(I checked out a few tracks on Pittbull's Planet Pittbull earlier and now I grooving to Jill Scott's new album) that pop up either on the bottom or the right side. Now I'm sure since there is some tracking going on they will know that so far I am a big Hip hop, reggae, funk and Neo Soul fan so what if you can push more of those songs my way I have no problem with it. I just started my first playlist today(I have WAAAAY more funk songs to look up than the ones I have added so far, ahem what Child of the Funk get over it) and whew can I say putting in Parliament or Funkadelic was like my Dad's old record collection all over again. I think I reached the end of the list but then again I was only skimming for my absolute favorites, unfortunately some of them were live versions and while lives are nice you don't always hear the lyrics clearly. Then I looked up Dazz, then grabbed songs from the Dazz band, and the Gap band. I'll share that playlist on FB later, Jill Scott's new one has me making a neo soul playlist so yeah gotta pick up that album sometime this week.

I should be ashamed

I who read either ""Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix(870 pages) or ""Harry Potter and the half blood Prince(672 pages) in one night, a perfectly happy passenger in J.K. Rowlings latest installment of what was to be her 7 part epic(obviously it is over now, the final movie coming out within the next 30 days) took the better part of a week to finish The Elements of Style (95 pages including all introductions, forwards, prologues and acknowledgements).  Now some might say I deserve a little forgiveness because of course Elements is more of a text book than it is some sort of fanciful tale geared to grab my imagination, I say that is cold comfort. I selected the book, I checked it out, I read a few pages realizing it was more grammatically intense than it was comical lecture or humorous chiding and I still picked it up.


It was a case of not being able to get the book I wanted so I took a book it had recommended,  29 Common Writing Mistakes, I went into the library with hopes of borrowing the title so that I might finish it and do some of the exercises. Within the first 34 pages two titles stuck out at me the MLA Handbook for Writers of Research Papers (which my brother still owned a copy of from high school and it was readily available) and the previously mentioned Elements of style. As I would like to become a better writer I decided hey the first step in ANY journey is always the most important, if you would like to write better read about writing(granted writing at all would also help but I will chastise myself about that later). Anyone who knows me personally (especially my tumultuous time from 4th to 12th grade, my my my how many times was I stuck at the front of the class) knows how much I LOATHE HOMEWORK, to say I think it evil is somewhat overstated, I think it's unnecessary. I tend to learn things quickly or not at all so if in my initial reading of the textbook I didn't get everything I needed, I wasn't going to get anything. And as my test scores would often show, I tend to retain a lot I just can't stand repetitively doing it over and over and over, practice may make perfect but if you continuously stir the bowl you will either beat out all texture or else create so much gluten as to make it a chewy inedible mess. So for me to be basically signing up for *groan* homework would probably make some check the temperature in hell, hold on there bessy I'm not sitting here doing exercises I'm reading something I actually like to do.

Upon first blush it seems me and Elements are going to be at odds, it is a book built upon the foundation of BREVITY and me be brief, do I not extole on how I will say what I want for as long as I want and to the extent that I want? I warn people at least a few times a year about the fact that I will ramble on, randomisity train isn't this what I call my fine friend here. So to ask me to be brief, why I should put it down immediately shouldn't I and yet I was intrigued by the challenge. And to make matters worse why this book suggest I don't add words to the English language, THE UNMITIGATED NERVE. How dare some dusty tome from a bygone age tell me NOT to amend the English language as I see fit, though to be fair I don't do it as often as I would claim so honestly that one isn't that hard to go along with, brevity though yeah thats gonna stick in my craw. It also suggested breaking long sentences up into shorter ones and abstaining from heavy handed prose, now see that last bit I do need to work on. It suggested making sentences stronger by removing unnecessary qualifiers for example:why say something is LIKE a thing, if you feel it's a thing take a stand and call it a thing(you may have noticed that if I did a cloud of this blog over the last week or so the word LIKE is showing up a lot less). See I may be stubborn, bullheaded, and set in my ways but I don't mind a good well intentioned debate or discussion on a topic or technique. And like I said I always want to get better, being less timid in my language is actually something that I want to do, the fact that I have banned "Colorful Metaphors" from this blog means at times I have rambled on to say something that a quick two word sentence might have been employed for on wordpress or multiply.

Now of course this would not be a book on grammar or writing if punctuation did not rear it's vile head, what can I say I BARELY put my commas in the right place, and if I really wanted to be better I would let a more grammatically gifted friend edit me before I posted. That is what I wanted though: ideas, suggestions and directions upon which to better improve the quality of my writing and thus the presentation of my blog. And the Elements of Style while stern in its call for less digital diarrhea isn't so cruel as to say it's his way or the highway, just that when you look at a few well chosen examples isn't less more? Isn't being direct and forthright with your imagery and thoughts a better usage of your time and page space. I say yes, so while I will still write long and lengthy blogs they will be long not because I wasted 10 words to figure out how to say 5 but because I found the right  5 words to get my point across and expounded upon that thought in a more connected nature.






































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A complaint to or about me is not the same as stabbing me in the back

Can I get yall to gather a little closer for me, yeah don't violate anybody else's personal space but make sure you can hear me on this one. This is the land of free speech, if there is something on your mind get it off. Say what you have to say, be honest and open about your concerns it doesn't mean I(or the person you are talking to at the time if you ain speaking to me) will agree with you but at least there will be no hard feelings because I possible stepped on your toes or because something you said got back to me when we were standing right next to each other. See there is this "common wisdom" right now that if you complain to or about someone, that you are betraying them. Not at all, if there is a problem that I don't see but you do guess what? If you don't tell me it won't get fixed, or if it can't get fixed you won't know that unless you tell me so I can explain to you what this issue is with said item. Now understand, if it is a personal quirk of mine that you have an issue with it may not get fixed but at least I will know "okay this is something you don't want to ride with, I won't pick you up for this adventure", and guess what because you let me know up front NO HARD FEELINGS.

Now if all you do is talk bad about me behind my back, constantly sharpening knives and only getting ya tiger on when I turn my back as not to see who's throat I should be grabbing, THAT is stabbing me in the back, if you are sure about what you have to say then possibly give me you preliminary concerns and say "but let me get back to you because I may have been mistaken", I won't be mad something bothered you yet before you make to big a deal about it you wanna get more info, I completely respect that. I see you constantly talking until I walk into the room and then you get all busy and act like your eyes and my direction are the same magnetic charge and never the two shall meet, I understand you want drama, and this ain the daytime soaps. It seems to have become a habit of late that detraction is the cuisine dujuor. Why do the hard work of figuring out what is actually going on when you can resort to sensationalism, innuendo, loose association and inference to drum up "traffic".

Further along the path

Like any endeavor in life you have to have milestones, land marks, routes, goals and the ability to reroute yourself if an obstacle pops up. Well I have reached one of my goals. While I know I often lament over the fact that "Google Analytics" doesn't always satisfactorily count all my hits, it does count a fair enough share of them for me to gauge progress as I go along. Even if my blogs internal stats give me say 5-10 hits for the day if I see a 2 hit from analytics, I know there were definitely some hits that day.

Now yes I am saying that versus blogger/blogspots internal stats Google Analytics tends to give me 1/4 - 1/3 recognition, which I'm sure for most of my fellow bloggers would be maddening, but is shows me some things that the internal stats don't. Like how long people were on the site, how many pages they visited, what search terms brought you to my page, what pages you found me through. This may seem a little anal, but as a semi social, mostly daily journal/perspective blogger its nice to know which subjects and the amount of detail included in the subjects is appreciated. It seems I get a lot of visits when I blog about the trailers before various movies, and a few hits on my movie reviews. Sometimes I get hits on sporting event blogs, I got quite a few hits after the storm that precursored the flooding down here in the midsouth.

The beauty of promising a "chicken in every pot"

Not to toot my own horn, but I'm a pretty smart guy. Give me a book/manual/decent training class and I can get damn near anything. Those wonderful charts and figures that get put up when people discuss:deficits, tax cuts, government expenditures if I can see them full size and read the key on the side I can usually get the gist of what you talking about. Any term I don't understand I will hit google, websters, investor words, how stuff works, bing or whatever other source I may need to so that I can follow along with your argument/topic of discussion.

That's me though, see if something piques my interest I'm like a dog trying to get his beloved toy from under a chair. I'm gonna dig and scratch, try to get my shoulder/arm in there, run to someone seeking help, keep trying to find a way. That's not most people hell, I have come to believe that people have started creating lipper charts, Feng zwei curves, out da back door averages and you don't need to know so don't ask me reports JUST so they sound intelligent to the average person and you will stop questioning them and leave them alone if they seem to buttress your own position. Its 2010 most people in my age bracket have seen the results of Reaganomics from kindercare to adulthood.

We have seen our neighborhoods go from nice friendly places where we could play outside til the lights came on to desolate scenes from old westerns. Ghost towns where the lawless rule and the average persons goes about their day in fear hoping to stay under the radar. You hope to avoid the big rancher out to own every acre his eye can see, the drifting cowboys bored with the monotony of the trail so they have "just one night" to spice it up a bit.

When those at the top are allowed to ignore the rules(or buy them as they see fit), justice is based not on the incident but on your ability to pay for representation, a permanent "unclean" class is present and always decried as the "unstoppable" enemy while the people run around "defending" themselves from the enemy the haves keep all the spoils for themselves. As for the ne'er do wells hey all they need is a shadow to hide in. When justice is blinded by dollar signs who wants to call the law? Every negative encounter re-enforces the idea that they won't help us.

Look around now, isn't that what you see? The world going to hell while you and yours just try to survive? You don't have time for high minded ideas now do ya? Taking the time to research every last claim by somebody living in a gilded cage, eating off a silver spoon he doesn't know what your life is like. So let's say somebody who looks kinda like you tells you how it ain your fault, how if you just leave these folks over here (who by virtue of their past successes obviously know what their doing) alone that their success will lead to your success. And that as they are more successful you will see things improve for you, why they'll get so good on your side, if you put these folks in charge, that there'll be "a chicken in every pot".

Now you don't know who lipper is, or S&P but you know who chicken is. Hell look how many chicken proprietors are out there:Tyson, Purdue, The Colonel, Churches, Zaxby's, Popeyes, Mrs. Winners, Chic-Fil-A. Think of how inexpensive a chicken dinner usually is, its good, its quick all kinds of great memories for MOST people. Hell thinking about it can you name a bunch of "beef" companies? I mean you could name me a "burger joint" but even burger joints sell chicken. How about an actual brand of beef, you've got your super market meat department, might even be able to tell me who makes ya turkey sausage or your hot dogs. Ya steaks and pork chops though uh uh, not too many people in that game.

So you pick a cheap yet delicious item, an item that most people have dealings with on a regular. No nothing extravagant, nothing that's actually gonna put you out a few dimes, not Filet Mignon in every oven. Or a pan full(remember its only one chicken singular, might be able to feed a family of 4 2 days on 1 chicken) of Minions, NY strip, Prime Rib nah not that stuff that costs money. How about a pot full of lobsters? Yeah let's all be ballin, let's all be eating good give me that King Crab, that Caviar(beluga baby), Dom Peri in the glass, Private stock in the cup pimpin.

Nah, that's too much can't pull that off without people getting suspicious huh? KISS keep it simple stupid, a message people can understand and comprehend. Things that seem tried and true nothin fancy, elaborate or invasive. While not every chicken pusher sells it to you cheap, ain nothing like some tender, juicy chicken now is it.

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Just had a JN moment

By JN I mean Jimmy Neutron(yes the cartoon character). Since this is "sequel, remake, reboot time" I think I'll start doing some blogs on:what would primal do.

Now some of these characters I'll be like "Duh" on, I'm a comic book geek but mainly a marvel comic book geek with a minor in some DC main stays. I've read some Dark Horse, Image, Milestone and one other but I'm not all super comic book geek. And I rarely read Manga's so I can't get all deep and in depth with manga characters(that would be baby bro, possibly would give him some manga chat time if I felt that folks wanted to discuss manga).

But yeah marvel, DC, TV I think as news comes out and stories are in the writing, green lit, pre or production phase and not yet release I'll say what I would do IF I was in charge. I mean what else is a blog good for if one doesn't opine right. So yeah the one I'm currently working on is about spiderman, hope to finish that by the end of the day(KNOWING I STILL have finished the black ops blog, tsk tsk tsk SLACKER).

Hope your having a great thursday as always feel free to chime in agree, disagree, leave a suggestion, I'm all ears

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Why I'm still against the "home ownership as wealth creation" philosophy

I've said it before and I will say it again:you want to show off how much money you want people to think you have "buy a house", you want to build up assets and wealth buy liquid items. What are liquid items:stocks, bonds, treasury: notes, bonds, bills;options, SOME commodities and raw material precious gems and metals.

Yes those things have fluctuating values but they are a lost faster and easier to sell than a house. Those who have read some of my past blogs talking about my portfolio will see what I mean. I talked last year about selling ford, now with a bank account attached to my brokerage account its at most a 5 day turn around between me selling the stock(if I do it at market value not a stop order which of course would require the stock to first hit my target sale price up or down) and the money being in my bank account ready to spend.
Also with stocks and other "smaller" liquid assets you don't need as much down and credit isn't that big an issue. If you have enough money to start the account they let you. While its better to buy in "round lots"(usually a stock order of 100 shares or multiples of 100) you could buy 1, 5, 10, 50 etc(and anywhere in between or above one of those numbers) as long as you have the money for the shares plus brokerage fees. Usually the brokerage fee is added per every X shares purchased PER order, so if you go over that share amount even by a share tack on another brokerage fee, if you make another stock order whether it be the same or a different stock tack on another brokerage fee.

Is it perfect no, I mean yeah gold, gems etc if you had a vault you could see and visit those but for most folks you log in to see your stock certificates. So yes if you wish to parade around your wealth you have to have a house or a car. What's wrong with saving up for those things? I mean what good is putting all of your money into something you don't actually own yet? Most trade able vehicles as long as it doesn't crater, expire, or self destruct whether it goes up or down you still own it. Miss a few car payments they take the car back and you don't get a dime. At least if a stock, right or warrant(different names for trade able vehicles) implodes if nothing else you get the tax write off.

I mean yes if you wanted to you could just hoard the cash in various bank accounts. Cash is always good and always king, so yes if you aren't worried about playing the casino game of investing its hard to argue with just keeping the cash on hand. Hell even IF you invest part of your portfolio should always be cash, money market account whatever always have cash on hand.

Yes you could also show off the piles of cash all Scrooge McDuck style if ya wanted to but flaunting isn't always safe. I mean hey I've never been one for flaunting so some of this is my own personal philosophy on life and the way this should go. I still say you want to accumulate something then accumulate it. Just you know lay off the debt for a little while, I could look up numbers and charts but I'm pretty damn sure anybody in america(and even a few of my international readers) knows someone who has lost a house or car. So some abstract number or series of numbers is unnecessary all you have to do is look around. Repo men and foreclosed signs are all around. Bigger isn't always better if you can't hold on to it

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In a somewhat pissed off mood

You have to love people, because they THINK they are right they run off at the mouth forgetting who got them where they are. They forget that if you look at the scale what they take is much heavier than what they give. People become so wrapped up in their righteous indignation of "why you have to listen to me" that they don't listen to themselves.

When you get to a point where you have challenged someone and it has reached a show and prove point, don't get mad show and prove. Its okay to feel strongly about something, no problem being passionate, but once you call someone out if they tell you to step up do so. And the funny thing is its always something minor, people go off on things that in the grand scheme aren't as important as the bridge they are tossung gasoline on. But hey "you know" right I mean you can blow up because in the end you got this and nobody can question you on having this.

Part of the problem is my fault I know, I give off this teddy bear like demeanor. I'm friendly, I'm cooperative, I'm consoling so that means when you run off at the mouth I'm just supposed to let it go. I mean hell I don't even have claws anyway right, and they filed my death down long ago. Except, if you look closely the claws are still there, the teeth razor sharp. The kindness and understanding I showed was not due to being castrated but due to being kind and understanding.

Sometimes I may agree with you, sometimes I may see that your side has merit, or is while imperfect definitely deserving of more than just immediate dismissal. Here's the thing, if I'm actually taking the time to listen it means that blowing me off loses for you an ally when you might need one in a coming situation. If I'm willing to spend my time in ways that helps you giving me the "what have you done for me lately" speech or the "well you only had to do this > < much" line will convince me that oh, you got it next time cool.
Because I do have better things to be doing then busting my hump for other people. This may not be the "me" of the 90's but even if in one spot I can find plenty to do. Things is, if you kept finding yourself asking me didn't that mean that your other outlets were slim to none. Doesn't that mean that you actually need me, hey I've rounded into a nice couch potato why should I move for you?

I mean I did it before because I thought it was appreciated now, nah son I'm good, you do you. That drink I've been missing downing it, Gotta go Gotta go, cya. See I've been grown a long time, I understand FULLY the world I live in. I've been to the rodea, the dance, the line, and the big stage. So I already know what I do and don't like, you're still trying to figure it out. But its cool you ain gotta ride with the side car, I'll step out and we can take it off. I thought you'd like the help but hit that sunset. You don't need me it might be time to start seeing what I need, and my needs are pretty simple, they just don't leave much time for your wants

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Less heavy fare

Has anybody noticed as of late that the folks doing a lot of the major voice over work lately are actual big name actors in the prime of their careers. Megaminds is coming out this weekend and its like wow Brad Pitt and Will Ferrel, really? Aren't these guys like swimming in live action movie deals? But over the last say 6 years I have noticed that a lot its like hey, its easy, its fun the movies are actually about some decent topics why not.

And I don't mean heavy cgi flicks as those can still be partially or equally live action and usually end up to HOPEFULLY be a big blockbuster. I mean I guess shrek and pixar really started something. We actually enjoy watching animation again(which I feel is a good thing) and we don't need an "oh its just for the kids" excuse(well I don't, some of yall might still be a little embarassed and skittish). Granted that begs the question will I go see it, meh I have no earthly idea, I just remembered seeing the ad for it last night and it made me think.
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My problem with the current black male stereotype

As this has already been covered yup I'm: black, male, straight, a booty enthusiast, married but separated(for now), opinionated, nice(or so I have been told), a gentleman(or so I hope I have shown), and somewhat of an geek/gamer. Has that been recovered? We all got it? So we ain gonna have to keep coming back to this in the post as I say what I got to say? Yall sure? Sure you Sure, aiight I'm saying check the top will be a valid remark then for the rest of the post, cool COOOOL.

My own personal being aside the main picture most people get of a black male is devious, unintelligent, misogynistic, unfaithful, neanderthal who is as apt to run to a white woman as he is to abuse his beautiful black sisters like it was second nature. Black men are flashy, dead beat dads, who don't want to earn an honest living and save the black man in the white house aren't really big on education. My problem is simple some of these things are true, not just true but for some of these I may be making huge understatements. Now yes I know I am an exception and I know many other exceptions, but no matter how many of us exceptions there are there are way more of the stereotype. And let's be real while I remember someone complaining that I used whites as an example first off this is American and I guaran damn tee you if I held up a picture of what someone thinks is an american I could get 7-8 out of 10 on it being the white face in the group. Second off to complain about me using another group is not DISPROVING what I am saying about that other group. I know the tactic of change the subject, I just don't fall for it. Now I know to be honest if I bring up Italians somebody could just make the honest and obvious observation that well technically they aren't Anglo Saxon and protestant, and I couldn't deny that valid point. Shoot they could disown the Irish too, because basically yeah as far as history is concerned both of those groups of people were only good for boosting caucasian overall numbers but they couldn't date your daughter. And while things change a little bit look at italian and irish stereotypes in movies, either drunks, gangsters or criminal types.

Now even if you tried that I could point to the french, english and germans (WOW really spell check the french can be small letters but those germans and english folks better get they caps, thats just sad really are we gonna do for the freedom fries thing too?) the french with how they did poor Jeanne De aarc, the english with henry and his wives(as well as salem but you know that would be more english descendants but I slightly digress) and the germans with their porn, what come on this is me I can't slip a joke in there(plus how could you NOT see that coming Germans have some of the wildest porn around, *cough cough* not that I have of course watched a lot of german porn that would be deviant behavior and if we know anything about me *rumble rumble* moving right along). No group is without deviant behavior and while you know I could use that as a defense I'm not I mean yes as I am milk chocolate not blue black I have somebody else running through these veins except the folks who could tell me who "massa robinson" was either died or I have yet to meet(I have a large family what can I say).

Back to the subject:in talking with many of the lovely females I have met in the cyber world I have found that many have in some way shape or form been molested in their lives. And as much as, just like when you hear about a stupid robbery you secretly hope {please don't be a black person} *bbm angel face*, I hope it wasn't a black person who perpetrated the crime yup it's either a black male or female. It kinda crushes a part of my heart because its like "damn how can you hurt someone who looks like you, how can you hurt family", and yes many of them have horror stories in their own past thus just continuing the cycle. And it burns me up because no matter what, exactly how do you take that pain away from someone? How do you tell them they should be comfortable when a face that looks similar to the one they see in the mirror or else similar to mine not only took their innocence from them, but may have made it a ritual of possession, did it to punish some weakness in themselves by showing this poor innocent child exactly who owned their world.

I mean yeah I understand the don't talk to strangers rule I do,. I was a kid once. But the only way say I can redeem the image of black men going forward is to what, why be the nice stranger you meet, be helpful, be kind, be chivalrous(even though chivalry is not only unappreciated but sometimes spit upon), be the anti stereotype. Yet the first thing I am going to hear when it comes to a conversation:ALL MEN ARE. Damn, really so why not when I was holding that door stop yourself and say, look I don't trust you please let the door go. Yes I'd be hurt because you know I did you no harm, but at least I could respect that up front you displayed your distrust of me. I'd wish you a good day, and safe travels and move on. But if you accepted the kind gesture, as well as some help and then STILL went in on all men, yo damn could you take the knife out quickly, it hurts. Because the thing is the ONLY way to reverse the negative male stereotype is to one person at a time show what a decent black man COULD be. Oh don't get me wrong I HOPE I'm a good man but I do not walking around beating my chest with that title. I think being a good man is a life long aspiration you have to keep working at it, you have to punch that clock even on days when you are sick, beat down, worn out and drug under. Because in my mind a good man would do that, even at his worst he would refuse to give in and continue to stand up for that which he believes in.

Because it is an ideal worth fighting for, I have my flaws, many flaws whew I'm sure if you ask a few folks the list would almost be as long as most of my blogs lined up word to word back to back single spaced. Flaws are not an excuse, I can get heated in discussions on the subject of the lousy treatment of black women by black men. Extremely heated mainly because I believe the woman devalue themselves by looking at how the guy treated them to base who they are on. Pffft some dudes are just out to use, they could care less if you were a 30 kt diamond or a piece of gravel all they wanted was the skins, possibly some ends, a place to rest they head then it's on to the next shawty rinse and repeat. It's abhorrent, I could sit here and DENY that men act like this but it's untrue, I could try the other method which is to claim well they only do this to the EASY girls, thats an even bigger lie.

Now while an unpopular sentiment there is one truth they do it because they are allowed to do it, call it vanity on the part of the women who continue to allow them to share their beds, or good game but these dudes are only out here doing what they do because they find women who at least for a short time will put up with it. If a man cheats more than once and you let him back in your door he will continue to cheat(same as a woman but I don't have a vagina so ain going into that too much further), hell if you were the mistress while he was in a previous relationship you just fully condoned cheating. It's okay if you wanna rent that good ding a ling(wow yup just slid that in)(oops damn and a penis pun man this is hard *doh*) you know the "hey baby you ain getting enough at home, or you just want something new every once in a while" relationship some women get into. Call it friends with benefits, cut buddies, whatever as long as you stay (you know what all you down low brothers I hate yall for stealing the term down low why ain yall just accept being openly bi BAAASTIDS) hush hush with it and don't try to take it to another level everybody will be okay. But the second you start catching some feelings for this dude start saying to yourself "mmmm see he doing her like that but me, nah I know how to keep my man at home".

Now let me make this clear I will not deny that SOME women have a better skill set than others when it comes to doing what they do. And  I don't mean current or former porn stars cause um I look at some of them and I go, meh nah I wouldn't even be enjoying that. I mean some porn stars just like regular, average every day women, don't go past that inch behind the tip either I believe @lethallippsxxx said it best "how you gonna talk about how good you give head when ya got all this hand motion" now no you don't have to be the deep throat diva up there but if you got a dude with double digits and you fitting both hands over it and you go to a guy in the singles and still are getting both hands over the shaft yeah you ain doing nothing. No offense yes the head needs love too but it's also about the Balls and Shaft(yes that was a PCU reference the movie is awesome and if you haven't see it #killyoself okay a little harsh don't kill yaself but go buy it at Walmart or best buy). So POSSIBLY you are doing it better than the last girl, don't mean he'll stay any more for you than he did for her. Sometimes it ain about sex its about the fact that ain no consequences for stepping out.

And ladies PLEASE do not pull the "he cheated so I will cheat" game, one you will feel guilty and two the one dude or two dudes you do as revenge will be used forever to excuse the 1 or 2 girls you catch him with out of the 10+ side chicks he has infinitum. If he was worried about your fidelity he would be making sure no man could EVER take his place, it wouldn't just be about the bed room, dude would make sure he was ya partner in the house work, ya partner in the finances, in the planning for your future. Next dude would have to put in so much work just to earn the right to touch ya mans dirty draws that he would probably just be like nah shawty bruh handlin his.

Cheaters rules are not the same as regular peoples rules. George Carling used to tell a joke about a guy driving his friend in a car(gonna screw it up sorry george)"guy and a friend are driving down the street and the light turns red, guy runs the red light. His friend is like um man that light was red, yes it's okay my brother runs red lights around here all the time. So they continue down the street and come to another red light, same exchange yeah it's okay my brother runs red lights around here all the time. so after about 3 more intersections they come to a green light and the guy slams on his breaks. His passenger after pulling his balls out of his mouth asks:why did you stop? My BROTHER MAY BE COMING" I say that to say, if somebody is breaking the rules while no they usually don't want you to also be allowed to get away with it. They also usually have a mindset of "if you ain cheating you ain trying", the problem they have with you isn't that you cheated, but that you were dumb enough to get caught.

Now this is Domestic violence month and as I have never been the type to make it a HABIT of hitting women, I will defend myself if no other outlet is left. My dear I may love you as a women and feel you need to be protected but if you decide that you have the right to be a threat to my life MY life trumps your overblown sense of your fighting skills. If your right good, if you ain hey like any other test you can pass it, you can squeak by on it or you can fail miserably. Now look I got the don't hit a woman speech, I got it many times, Dad was ADAMANT about not hitting women. In this day and age 1 dad ain always there, and 2 some folks mommas are just as #ratchet(yeah yeah I am using hash tags if your on twitter you can look them up if you wish) now as there were when they were your age, and just like you feel you should be that bad motor scooter(NAILED IT) and should show dudes who's boss and who ain gonna take no mess. Well just like you she loves her baby, and just like you she feels her baby shouldn't take no mess, so most likely just like you she told her baby "a chicken head steps up and thinks she a man, knock her on her tail and let her find some balls." so just because a guy SHOULDN'T hit you don't get it twisted in your head that some REAL MAMA who was kickin rocks on that block before you was even born ain decide her baby ain have to take it. Cause if you lose guess what we ain built the same, even the most BUILT female I'm talking ripped out the wazoo ain as big as the biggest man. So sometimes walk away and just say enough is enough if you really think you're too good for somebody roll off and show them.

Now that is a sad state right there, I personally don't think a man should hit a woman, in my younger days when I was bouncing if you did something and your lady hauled off and nailed you one, she got the free shot and you got the eyes of death. You was stupid, you got caught, let her go, move on with ya life and don't retaliate. Yeah you MIGHT wanna get her back, and maybe you could show her a thing or two, but to get to her in MY EYESIGHT you were gonna have to go through me. And while people who get to know me may swear I'm the sweetest guy, and wouldn't hurt a fly, lets just say there are some flies that would beg to differ with them. Being nice is a choice, a choice aimed and trying to make a positive change in the world, but to make a change you have to be strong, you have to be willing to withstand the test if that test is given. And you must ALWAYS be ready, folks ain gonna hit you when your ready for them to hit you, hell then it ain that they hit you its that you wanted to be hit. If you see somebody standing and waiting for you, and you walk into the situation unprepared and you get your head knocked off, well thats on you. They shouldn't have done it, but I'm sorry if you see danger in front of you find another path period I'm just saying some things are self explanatory shouldn't even have to spend a lot of time on them. I mean we do because folks are so big on themselves that they get caught out there often, but really it's your life and the only person responsible for maintaining it til death is you.

I mentioned being loud and flashy but that I will not separate us from the pack of the rest, dude look at the country we are no worse than any other group, a lot of us were brainwashed and have the whole credit, debt and asset model TWISTED. An asset is a possession yes, but if you have an illiquid possession(say a house or a car) you ain BALLIN' a liquid possession is say MONEY, maybe a stock yes it would take you a few days to get the money from the sale but a stock could be sold and QUICKLY converted into money, car and house are usually gonna take time and preparation. If you don't mind visiting the pawn shop Jewelry can be considered a liquid asset. But looking around I don't care what color you are or what social status you thought you belonged to peoples realities ain safe right now. So yeah maybe black folks need to learn about assets, but so do the rest of our fellow americans that class will be full and look like the melting pot we are supposed to be, with chairs all out in the hallway trying to make sure they don't miss a syllable.

Again I understand there are MANY examples of the black male stereotype yes some dudes are out there being exactly who you think they are. But as silly as it sounds, if you don't have hope of meeting a decent guy like me, one who will hold the door, help you with a bag(yes I may stare at your behind I'm male doesn't mean I'm going to beg you for your number, or expect sexual favors I can appreciate that you look good, did whatever you had to do to get where you are physically, and are happy or ok with it), or just do some other HUMAN stuff. As vain as it may sound please give the memory of an experience like that a little more weight. Remember the more people scared of the "deadly black monster" the more often it's okay for cops to fire shots at people who look like your fathers, brothers, husbands and sons. If your father didn't molest you why would you want to perpetrate an image of a monster that looks even remotely like him. So that when somebody says I feared for my life, all those in attendance can knowingly nod their heads because hey, even their woman say they are savage animals.

We need to do better, but the incentive to do better won't be there if "we're gonna be treated like animals anyway" as you know when people have a ready made excuse, they are definitely gonna use it

Nice guys: a revisiting pt. 1

Waaaay back in January I wrote a blog This one now in that blog I did my little lament about why it sucks being a nice guy. And it still does, trust me it really does. Then a few weeks ago a friend @tracyreneejones wrote an article on the blog IoM&R (which is one of my favorites by the way, I love the various topics from political commentary to social issues in the various minority communities, it's run by the always passionate @rippdemup a fellow memphian and good online buddy) which struck a few cords for a multitude of reasons, it was about abusive black men and how they treat black women now as I am wont to do, I mentioned a few disagreements I had with some of the premises in the blog. And as usual I got some of what is a typical mistreated females response, one of which is untrue. I know exactly how it feels to be harassed when walking down a hallway getting unwanted attention from people you either barely know or really don't feel like interacting with.

Little thing about thinking ONLY you have had a hard life, you don't realize when you are pissing in someone else's face. Now this would be a great time for an anecdote about how and why I completely understand how the women feel sometimes, thing is I don't feel like sharing it. See part of the reason I am so patient, compassionate and comforting is because I understand, that leaves us a little problem though. If your entire stance towards me is that you should be as aggressive as possible because I won't see the stupidity of some people, that I will not understand the pain of being verbally accosted, physically assaulted, and preyed upon by groups of people you have done nothing to. Then when I try to explain to you a solution all you are going to do is treat me like something you stepped in. Which will bring out the less than nice side of me, again being nice is a choice, a hard life choice because if you look around at the world "nice guys" don't last that long. This isn't marvel or dc. There are no super heroes, when you come to the rescue people rarely remember that past you pulling their buns out the fire. So if you push Mr. nice, Mr. Compassionate, Mr. Professional one time too many the guy who has been pushed many times through out his life, spit on, and belittled wakes up.

People don't just target you for teasing because you are of the opposite sex. They don't just target you for aggressive interaction if they find you attractive. They target anyone they feel is weak or vulnerable. Now yes WOMEN for the most part have that stereotype stamped on them at birth, but if you are shorter, skinnier, fatter, taller, you have a slightly abnormal feature well away we go. Though we lie to ourselves (and our children) when we get older about how the world is, and what it takes to get along in this world, the truth that would set us free is pounded into our heads on a regular basis. Ladies and gentleman "Bullying" the new hot political topic of this cycle isn't new, women being treated as sexual objects, nor intelligent people being ridiculed, nor attractive people being thought of as air heads. Sexual orientation, non existent,  high or hyper sexual desires, quirks, eccentricities, abnormalities you name it the world has seen it before.

The issue is, because we like to pretend that it USED to be so great, we fail to fix the problems we already know are there. As I said it sucks being a nice guy because when you try to NICELY inform people of a better way to do something, you are going to get attacked. Then as you try and civilly maintain a discourse with them of course as they THINK they see weakness they pounce. And when they pounce just like anything else in nature if they were not correct in their assessment of the situation they leave themselves open, and survival of the fittest demands you attack this unprepared soul.

I like being a nice guy because I think it makes my mother proud, I think when my aunts and cousins see me they think wow thats a pretty good guy we are related to. Now no they don't know everything about me, they aren't privy to my love of large reared women, or pornography(or at least I hope my mom isn't that would be creepy), erotic literature, how deep the depths of my curiosity goes, or how cold I can be. So the "my mother/other matriarchal figure thinks I'm blank" defense is not to about be used. Now I personally think I am a guy they would be proud to meet in the streets some where. While not physically with me now, I would like to hope my wife thinks back to our many years together and says "while he has his faults, my husband tried to be the best man he could no matter how hard the situation". Would be a great time to mention how proud my dad is of me, but in truth we butt heads more often then we heap praises on each other. I think we have the stereotypical male relationship I love him, he loves me but you know what that dude right there pisses me off(I am speaking as both of us right now I'm sure I piss him off with the way I try to weigh all sides and approach a problem with different angles being discussed before hand. And I so LOOOOVE the way he just looks at a problem says what he thinks will work and walks away.) and he needs to remember who I am.

I would like to think that while when we were all together and still developing into the people we would become that those who went to high school with me saw a young man who wished to give more to the people around him than he wanted to destroy or take. My harsh tongue was developed under their unyielding tutelage, my thick skin tanned to perfection by their dislike of the weakness they saw in my heart because I wanted to be me and not just like them. And that me was someone who could be your friend even if it wasn't popular, who could work together with you even if socially we didn't get along, and could speak with you civilly even if just moments before harsh words had been exchanged if the current moment required cooperation and concentration. Thing is, for now that is not normal oh no! If I don't like you then every second I am around you I'm supposed to make it my SOLE FOCUS to make your life miserable and make people take sides. I'm supposed to be irresponsible with my actions, unthinking with my interaction and ignorant of my responsibilities to the group and situation I may be involved in. Hey I've got a rectum like anyone else and if it is feces or mud slinging time trust me I have nice sized hands we can get the party started(you would not believe how much mental yoga it took to create that statement without an expletive slipping out, and I've been drinkin how ya like me now).

I was the lone wolf when younger, the cub moved from his pack to be added into a new one, surrounded by those who's initiation rituals he had not been privy too, who's defining moments he had not be there for. Who's hierarchies he did not yet know, armed only with a "be nice to people" and "treat people how you want to be treated" mentality I walked into the lions den with no armor on. I mean we're all kids right? It's supposed to be fun and games and learning right? Why do I need armor, I'm gonna come in here and get to know everybody and we'll probably become friends or at least most of us will.

Except you don't get that same love of just walking in the door to warm faces when they have no clue who you are. They don't know your mom makes the bomb peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, or that she makes those gooey chocolate chip cookies from scratch that you love and SOMETIMES will be willing to share(what I love chocolate chip cookies so eat me). That you had some nice toys you would love to share with them, well but you guys live sooo far away and I can't walk to your house(YET) and my parents get home so late from work in this commuter society. So for the longest my classmates were not my neighbors and as such I stayed the perennial outsider far longer than was normal. Oh I did make some friends, but I made far more tormentors kids can be cruel and I learned that early, my big hearted tail who's eyes would gush at any moment because I could feel someone else's pain(I still remember my SNAPPING turtle who I was crying because it bit my finger but bawled louder when my cousin shot the poor turtle for biting me) was not ready for those who just saw my friendliness as something to be exploited.

Okay that's a SEMI anecdote, wasn't planning on it but the sake' had other ideas. Anyway as I come forward in life I realize okay no people really DON'T treat people how they want to be treat, and they aren't really nice. But you know what I kind of like it, yes I earned plenty of scars, welts and bruises trying to be THAT guy, you know the one willing to swim against the current because well IT'S GOING SO FAST BECAUSE OF THE WATERFALL, or it's going so fast because nobody has stopped to look where we are going, it's they are going that way and well I guess we should be going that way. Well most of the time I didn't want to go that way, things people were scared to admit they liked, you know what you don't like me no damn way and I do like that. "Nah that ain cool to me, no I don't want to try, sure I can help you carry it, but nope no thanks I don't need it."

Another thing, maybe you don't have anything that I want or else don't have what the service I provided you with is worth meh let me go on because I really did get more out of it than you did. I did something nice and have the memory of it, BUT YOU have this lasting memory of that scrawny, stocky, tubby chocolate kid who helped you out for no reason at all. And it will probably be stuck in your head for a minute, or maybe you scream SUCKAAAAAAH the second you think I'm out of earshot(which is a lot farther than you think) and feel you got over, only to not have anybody to help you take it back when you get done and thus have that lasting feeling of damn I wish somebody else was as nice as that guy. I've got a LOUSY memory, but it gets better the further out from the incident we go(yup weird like that I know) but leaving a good impression means by the time I do remember it, most likely in your mind the grace with which I acted will be exaggerated and I'll seem even nicer than I really am.

There's still this thing though, I am the guy who took all those lumps to get here, which means I probably have a chip or two stuck to my shoulder pounded in over the years for not being exactly like the pride after leaving the pack. It also means that I have more than one pattern by which I can attack you OR the problem. And again, who respects a nice guy huh, yup nobody which means if I have made it this far I must not have a problem getting dirty when the need arises. Hell getting dirty I must not have a problem increasing the depth of the pit. Remember I'm the odd one out here, I'm the respectful one to start, I'm the one NOT going along with everyone else which also means I'm the first target. To stand out is to stand alone until you find others with similarities to you and the go along to get along or else not be the target folks are many, they strike quickly as not to have their loyalties doubted, and they strike hard because otherwise they may be seen as becoming weak and thus a target to be whipped back into shape by the herd they are a part of.

I plopped a part one on the back of this, I think I'm gonna stop here and come back on a different post to finish. editing time woohoo

WHy I wouldn't recommend being a nice guy/good man

There is absolutely no benefit in it. Let's be honest most women are the queens of the listen to what I say don't pay attention to what I am actually doing mindset. I mean from personal experience most who know me will admit yes I am a good guy, no that is not to say pushover yes I can be overly opinionated, strong minded, picky and determined(trying to find a way to say butt hole in a nice way to stay within the guidelines of the blog). I am still a good man though never cheated in my life, I go out of my way to help you hell sometimes out of my way, I am loyal to a fault, and as long as your with me you don't have to worry about being scared that I won't be in your corner.

And all that and 3 bucks might get me a cup of coffee on a saturday night ALONE. Why is this, because most women while to "protect their image" will claim that they are looking for a guy with my general characteristics I'm not who they are looking for. Now I'm not the handsomest cat on the planet, or the tallest(I'm 5'10 so I'm average height), I won't deny that I have added a good 50 pounds since high school, but I know I'm not the ugliest cat and I know as long as I feel you are worthy there is no such thing as me being a tight wad. I may not throw my money in everybody's direction but I will spend whatever on a cause or person who I feel is a worthwhile investment, period. I mean lets be honest, there are a lot of guys out here like me, intelligent, hard working, compassionate, kind, understanding and humble.  As I have said before the names for us are usually Herb, Cornball, Punk, Square, and Lame. The reasons are simple we believe in looking deeper then just ya bra size and your measurements and believe that you deserve to be respected if you have earned it.

Most guys like me feel that if I'm with a woman I think is beautiful and she loves me I am the luckiest man on the planet, I'm not trying to run out and prove I can get 50 women just like you I'm trying to find ways to spend more time with you and maximize the memories. What good is that I guess I mean if your not the top choice of a guy with a harem I guess that ain good enough. It appears that most women would rather have a guy string them along for years because he makes their girlfriends jealous(or wet cause he may just be with you because you and your crew of friends he is planning to hit are pretty) then be with somebody who actually wants to share the rest of their lives with them. Oh I know "successful" women can't find a man, no while some of these women MIGHT be successful some of them are overstating their station and current value. Not only that but they can't offer half of what they are asking for so really how you expect to be given a home run when you may only be giving a double is beyond me ie how you expect to get someone who will fulfill your wildest dreams when you may not even be able to meet that persons expectations halfway is foolish and immature.

I know I often fight with women on this subject for a simple reason, you want me to take you seriously as an individual yet you want to lump me into a group with your ex, some dude who you gave the time of day and wasn't worthy of your time, or the other "top choices" you decide to deal with but are constantly leaving you wanting for more. As has often been said the common denominator going forward in any relationship you are involved in IS YOU. Thats right ladies if you can NEVER find a man that meets your qualifications sit down and figure out if you meet your own qualifications.

Most relationships are about balance and give and take. While the "classic" role definition may not be necessary role definition is necessary. If you make more fine, you make more but if you don't want him rubbing your nose in how much more then you he makes, and how he is big time and your small potatoes remember that when your in the big dog position. If you don't want to cook and he doesn't have a problem with it you better have something you can bring to the table in it's place, make a mean martini, love the same team as he does something. Most women fall into a trap of they have a set resume they want their man to meet up with yet when it comes time to see what dude wants "well why can't he just accept me for me" and the answer is simple "because you want him to live up to your expectations". And that isn't a bad thing, or a petty thing at all that is as long as you can reciprocate.

If you like long walks in the park, quiet evenings, and a foot massage after a long day when he talks about wanting to go to a ball game even if it's in the snow you better wrap ya behind up and go with him. If he is willing to sit through a chick flick, you better go see at least one action movie or comedy. If while you know you want him close you know you want girl time, if you expect him to trust you until otherwise proven you better trust him. Because honestly the only person you are showing is untrustworthy is yourself, yeah I said it if your saying basically that when out of your sight he would cheat the only way you could think that way is if out of his sight you are doing stuff you know he wouldn't like.  And don't present some ideal woman you think he wants, be willing to find a man who loves the real you flaws and all. Somebody who you ain got to worry about taking your mask off and him feeling betrayed.  If a man can't like you for who you are he isn't worth your time anyway, ever wonder how guys can constantly get told no yet continue to ask women out. Simple we know when we find the right one it will be magical(if we're looking for the right one, if we're just looking for draws it will still be magic just for a shorter period of time, what would you rather I lied to you? Too bad I ain got time for that).

All this being said who still gets the majority of the phone numbers? Who when you ask them are women constantly making excuses for why they date instead of making excuses as to why maybe you just aren't there type? And it's kinda funny because many of the reasons given if a guy were to turn it around on a woman on she would be pissed. Because it has nothing to do with her and everything to do with what you think she will be like because of how she looks, and that is the same way she's looking at Mr. Nice guy. Because he isn't disrespectful he must not be strong, if you think about it though what takes more strength pushing people around so you don't have to listen to them or finding a way to get along and work with them even if you might disagree? Yet not realizing it is a condemnation of themselves women will complain oh well I will just walk all over him, yeah um that isn't a fault on his part if your like that you need to go work on you. Patience is the virtue not an overblown sense of self.

Well bad boys know how to "do it better" yeah okay, if you still ain getting off and he has a long list of things you want to try that he don't is it that he does it better or that he just takes you more forcefully and for that few moments he's there it's raw passion yet your still not fulfilled. Sometimes you have to respect that it takes time to learn what your partner does and does not like, just like it takes time to learn what you like. And if you are unwilling to show that person your probably don't want to be fulfilled, I'm just saying.

Oh yeah nice guys are too shy, well actually a real nice guy is trying to get to know you first, before he goes all out and lets you in he wants to make sure you are worth the time he is gonna dedicate to you, and yes I said dedicate. Because those bad boys who are running their mouths usually forget about you once they get what they want, I mean how often do you complain about a nice guy not calling you back and checking to see how your day is? I mean yes your still going to argue doesn't matter who you are in a relationship with you are gonna have a disagreement and you need to. You have to see if you can work it out with someone when you disagree maybe your right maybe he's right but right ain gonna keep you warm at night. Nor will it hold you as well as the other person will so you have to be willing to come to an agreement and stick to it.  You have to be willing to weather a storm or two together to see how you are gonna deal with the long haul.

I know I know it's a lot to think about, but then again if you want the best how are you just gonna walk in the door and get it without doing any research yes if you blind fold a monkey and give him a dart sooner or later he will land on the name Tiffany, Saks, BMW, or Mercedes but wouldn't you rather take you time and find it yourself and save a lot of time, hassle and heart break?