Monday, April 25, 2016

The problems of Batman v Superman

Okay, it's been a month. If you WANTED to see Batman v Superman you already have, if you haven't spoilers mean nothing to you, and on top of that enough people have ranted about this movie on youtube, tumblr, and various other social media outlets that mean going off on it here won't be a shocker. This isn't wordpress so I will keep the expletives out of it, but yes there will be an expletive filled one later. Now, the disclaimers:

  1. I am a Die Hard Marvel fan
  2. I wasn't fond of Man of Steel
  3. While I have read a decent amount of the New 52, I thought it was short sighted
  4. I actually know where Metropolis and Gotham are located
  5. I have read most of Wonder Woman's origin stories
  6. I know how bad guys in comics and movies act
And yes 4,5, and 6 are important because they are part of the biggest problems with this movie, because it seemed like for whatever reason to give us those BEAUTIFUL visuals Zack Snyder ignored so much about the DCU. Now I know that DC is about to do another reboot titled "rebirth" I will read them when it starts, but I would hope that they won't base it on whatever Zack Snyder's DC universe is because NO! I'm not saying that this is the Last Airbender, Dragonball evolution, or even Bloodrayne (I'm not honestly). I am saying that what this movie and Man of Steel did with the source material and the characters is shameful because I wouldn't look up to these characters, I wouldn't be inspired by these characters. Enough dawdling lets get to it
Who is Superman?

Yes, this is a valid question because I don't think Zack Snyder knows this. I think Zack Snyder watched Kill Bill and made the same unfortunate mistake as Bill, he thought that Clark Kent was Superman's CRITIQUE of humanity. What Bill, Quentin, and Zack seem to have forgotten is that while Yes Superman is from Krypton, he doesn't find that out until AFTER his 18th birthday. His parents know he isn't from around there but don't show him that til high school, I mean yes it looks like a space ship but hell it could have been from some weird government experiment. So while yes Superman is Kal El, Superman is ALSO a costume, he wasn't raised Kal El he was RAISED Clark Kent as has been said many times in the cartoons and comics: I'm a farm boy from Kansas. Yes that is who he identifies as, he isn't Kara Zor El he didn't live on Krypton as a teenager, get lost in space for a few hundred years/decades and then pop up with his head full of unfinished Kryptonian learning.
  • Came to Earth as a baby
  • Was raised by Johnathan and Martha Kent
  • Had abilities, but as there were other heroes around abilities didn't equal alien
  • Learned to control and hide his abilities because he trusted his parents 
  • soaked up 30+ years of yellow sunlight
  • While possibly not christian he was raised with pretty standard country values
  • Does right because he believes that doing your best is what all people should strive for
  • Pretends to be meek so that he won't draw too much attention to himself
  • Is a good person, possibly a slightly watered down version of his father JOHNATHAN
Bill talks about Superman as if he knew from birth who he was, as if finding out that his name was Kal El was not a shock, as if the person who fed him daily wasn't named Martha, he wasn't scolded daily by J Kent the times when he was ready to snap because kids were teasing him(yes Superman was bullied as a child too), he didn't have chores, responsibilities, and homework just like any other kid.  Clark Kent is who Superman was raised to be, he is Superman's fundamental understand of who a good and average human being is. Clark Kent has a job that would UNDERSTANDABLY put him in and around harms way, without too many questions being asked. He is an Investigative Journalist, it is actually one of the most ingenious covers ever, because you EXPECT to see somebody trying to get the Big Story to be where trouble is. While people just talk about lawyers as ambulance chasers if you think about it so are reporters, good reporters anyway they want to know what happened, where it happened, and how it started. I understand that recently there has been an economic downturn and that papers aren't selling as well as they used to, I would think though that like most other papers they would START getting more into the digital realm as well as allow their reporters to not be tied to the desk so much. If Perry White is talking about Clark putting his new story in the cloud folder why would he care if Clark was tracking down some story on his own dime about the Bat vigilante? Something like that WOULD sell papers, another fluff piece about somebody in sports? He has a sports guy for that, it's as if Zack Snyder didn't even look into WHAT a newspaper is built like.

Yes you might have the regular anchor on TV talk about the RETIREMENT of a huge well loved player, Kobe Bryant, Micheal Jordan, Doctor J, Shaq, Wilt, Bill Russel, Hakeem, David Robinson, or Peyton, Joe Montana, Troy, Jim Kelly, Emmit, Jerry, and a host of other legends. But not a game, even a game after a Star player is lost or hurt that would be handled by the SPORTS REPORTER, same as at a newspaper. Here in Memphis that would Be Geoff Caulkins, Ron Tillery, Gary Parrish, and a few other folks, now yes maybe they could tell you about some of the things going  on at a major sporting event or say like that brawl between Detroit and Indiana. If something major happens AT a sporting event but you wouldn't send them to cover say the presidential election. You have a guy/gal for that with connections in that area. Now if you had Clark Kent investigating what happened to Victor Stone, around The Event that caused his injuries I could understand that as well as Victor's disappearance and the fact that his father went missing too. That is an investigative journalist and something that Clark would have done, that it would have made sense for him to do. And to say that nobody cares about Clark Kent vs the Bat, WHAT? Batman probably sells papers, what are you pretending that you don't know how the Marvel universe works? Even in Supergirl Cat Grant admits that the Daily Planet has Superman to post on their front page every day to sell copy, so YES a story about the bat vigilante is just what Perry would be looking for. And Clark Kent could have sold it, especially with the Batman that Zack Snyder has presented to us. Speaking of

Who is Batman?

Now this one is going to be SLIGHTLY different, because here Zack Snyder seems to know exactly who Batman WAS, this is an earlier version of Batman. A less Stoic and more cynical Dark Knight, and also consequently who Bill was actually talking about in Kill Bill, even if Bill didn't realize it
  • Bruce Wayne is a billionaire raised by his butler, Alfred Pennyworth
  • Bruce Wayne WATCHED his parents be shot and killed in front of him
  • Bruce Wayne, the child, died that day
  • Bruce Wayne is a critique of the Gotham Elite who allowed a city to fester and kill his parents
  • Batman does what he does because he feels no one else is strong enough to do it
  • Batman doesn't see himself as Bruce Wayne, Bruce is a necessary mask to traverse the world
  • Batman feels no connection to ordinary people, he has always been elite and set apart
First I say Bruce Wayne died the same day as his parents, he did. He didn't know who he was or what he was going to do, he was lost in this world because his whole world had just been destoryed. Until he figured it out and then he developed the skills, knowledge, and connections to carry it out. Bruce Wayne has little to no use for the everyday elite of Gotham, he sees most of them as feckless, weak, and self serving you know kind of like the Bruce Wayne he shows off on a regular basis. You don't think that Bruce Wayne would lift a finger to help anybody unless he could get good press from it. His wallet will do most of the talking, EXCEPT when it comes to crime alley, there he appears to show up right regularly. The Batman in MOST of peoples understanding doesn't kill, it is his defining characteristic, it is the line he does not cross, similar to Superman. How is he any different from the bad guys if at the end of an interaction with him they aren't breathing, labored breathing is still breathing. Breathing with both arms and legs broken is still breathing. Batman will beat you to within an inch of your life and you will know it, and so will your friends. That is why Batman is such a good interrogator, you know how much it is going to hurt and that you will live to recover and possibly be hurt again. So you don't play when it comes to the big bad BAT. While not really the worlds best cover being a billionaire CEO of a multinational corporation does have it's perks, you can travel anywhere there is a big event, or a party, or a show, or something that rich people do. You don't expect him to be in harms way, but bad guys could be there because "all that money" right. Batman in MOST peoples understanding HATES guns, he doesn't use them. They remind him of what happened to his parents, a man with a gun killed his parents and NO CHILD should experience that, thus him dedicating his life to stopping it from happening.

Zack Snyder has his Batman killing, using guns, causing huge amounts of collateral damage, and not having much concern for human life. Seriously, if Batman kills people why does he care if people died under Superman's watch. He has a rolling tank, with machine guns, that he chases bad guys down with, and uses their cars to smash them into each other. Instead of freeing the civilians in that first scene we see the Batman in, he leaves them locked up while he interrogates the bad guy, really where does Batman do that at? He finds you, frees you, and then he beats the bad guys to a pulp. The cops usually stay the hell out of his way, because it's HIS CRIME SCENE and if you mess it up, yeah lets not go there. Is Batman always prepared for whatever he might run in to yes, because he doesn't have superpowers. He has to do everything he can to make sure that he gets back to the bat cave at the end of the night. Before we started considering emotional trauma Batman used guns, so this isn't unheard of. And his Batman was pretty fleshed out, the Bat Jesus scene was amazing, but then again he took the dream sequences like 5 steps too far.

Where are Gotham City and Metropolis located?

Now unlike Marvel Comics DC decided to make fictional cities for everybody, BUT these fictional cities are located in actual states, in an actual nation(the United States of America), and near OTHER real cities. Smallville is located in Kansas, it is a medium sized rural area, lots of farms, a few factories, and of course the center of town is reasonably built up. When he was Younger Clark Kent and his father would go to Football games in Metropolis. It was usually an hour or so drive, basically an afternoons activity. SO you start with the fact that they are in Kansas, go to a Major city within a few hours drive from Kansas, and make it home without having to spend the night THEY COULD but it wasn't a requirement, and that it was a major city on some water. If you take all that into account most people agree that Metropolis is IN or AROUND St. Louis in location, now some may bring up the fact that Metropolis is somehow right up against the ocean, and yes I will give you this. But then Miraculously so is Star City, Central City, Coast City, Gotham, Key stone City, and so forth and so on. Every major city in the DC universe is up against an ocean, don't ask me how that works but they are, even Dakota is up against the ocean(the imaginary city that Static and all the Milestone characters are from). Now some might say they never actually MENTION crossing state lines when they go to Metropolis so that it MIGHT be Kansas City, problem is Kansas city really ain up against the water like that.

Gotham City on the other hand is easy, it's New York. Just go read a comic, there is a giant statue in Gotham Bay, it goes out into the Atlantic, It's usually always crisp in climate, lots of snow, lots of concrete, old buildings, and history. I mean I could go into more detail, but just look at how Gotham is drawn, how it is made up, it is New York city, always has been and always will be. No, it isn't Philadelphia just stop, we aren't even entertaining that. It's NYC, it's always been NYC, and it has always been a given that it was NYC. 

That being said EVERYBODY being able to see the Bat Signal from a tall building in Metropolis is RIDICULOUS. Time and Space are important ladies and gentleman, if Superman was so close to Gotham why would Batman have so much work to do? Superman is right there. And if Gotham is so close to Metropolis why would escaping there from Gotham seem like a good idea? It's literally the next Major city over, he'll be there in 15 minutes. Also if they are so close, and a MAJOR battle is going on RIGHT NEXT DOOR, why wasn't Batman in Man of Steel? Like they went from Smallville to Metropolis, why not show Gotham THEN and establish that Oh Well, Batman is here and what do you know Batman built the suit in response to the Kryptonians he was helping to fight? yeah that's my point too, it's just stupid leave them on opposite sides of the country so that we can recognize the importance of one stepping on to the others turf. They literally made it look like it was the distance between Memphis and Southaven, MS or West Memphis AR, a 10-15 minute drive 30 minutes through rush hour traffic. Seriously, that isn't a big deal, I go to the Southaven Best Buy all the time, and from time to time near the Dog Track in West Memphis, whats a half hour out of my day. Now if I was going to New York or LA(both more than 20 hours away from Memphis) well you know that has to be something serious. Either Big Money is involved or else it is a big problem, because you don't just travel 6 plus hours for nothing. Okay, let's say it's a flight, it's about a 4+ hour flight from here to New York, same for LA, again for the expense of a 6 hour flight it has to be big. Like Memphis in the Final Four big, or the Grizzlies in the Western Conference Finals big(both of which have happened in the past 10 years and both having people making such reservations and taking said flights). THAT let's you know of the importance of the moment, even an hour drive while a nice haul is still something you can plan for. It's an hour drive from where I used to live in South Jersey to Philadelphia, about 3 hours to NYC(mainly due to traffic, distance wise should have only been like 2 hours) the Philly drive was made often, my mother worked in Philly for a while so did my father, we also made the New York drive once for my cousins Wedding. And I used to go to North Jersey every weekend as a young adult and NYC was often included in the plans, because it was like a 30 minute train ride. 

I took that trip down to memory lane to say "not that big a deal" so for them to be right next door and him NOT to mention Batman in Man of Steel, or even have a single story about him going through the papers is kind of silly. And even if the Lex Corp scenes and that Wayne Industries satellite were added as reshoots later to increase the size of the Man of Steel universe, making the two cities so close actually defeats that. It makes the world seem cluttered, almost tiny. How can two heroes the STATURE of Batman and Superman be next door neighbors?

Who is Wonder Woman?

This one I could just be nitpicking, I know that Linda Carter Diana Prince was quite demure, timid, and unassuming. just like Superman they had her wearing glasses, dressing kind of plainly, and seeming to be a church mouse at all times. But them spins though. So yes I may smh at "Socialite Diana" but there COULD be some Wiggle Room as to why she was just going to parties like that. In more recent Cartoons there weren't as many frames spent focusing on a secret identity for her, she was Wonder Woman, Diana Prince from Themyscara ambassador from the amazon nation to the rest of the free world(or Man's World if you like). They at least included some stills of her as a WWII vet(or was it WWI, I didn't see too much Nazi imagery in there but it was just a few photos). While I could understand a weary warrior tired of the constant fighting in Man's World, especially recently she has been portrayed as the activist type so her being so silent at a Luthor affair is a little unsettling. I could see her being there to discuss with Luthor his companies dealings in places where child labor, unfair work practices or the like, but just taking in the sights no. So while I take back all my criticism of her IN COSTUME, her Diana Prince leaves a lot to be desired. Not wanting to put on the "cape and cowl" (DC lingo, marvel calls it spandex) is understandable but seeming to not even care at all. A major City is being destroyed, and you are a world traveler, that doesn't concern you but them paparazzi photos that's what gets your blood boiling? Seriously, it was WWII unless you are telling me you hid for like 60 years people would have seen you and remembered you were the woman who helped save their city. Hell there should be statues of you everywhere that you set foot, so yeah that made no sense. The tired Warrior who put down her sword but picked up her voice to speak for those less powerful THAT would be believable not the return to the Justice League's secretary. Or even that she is the quiet church mouse socialite, if she is turning heads she wouldn't just want to be Eye Candy.

Also ever since they dropped the whole Diana Prince mild mannered secretary bit to go for the full on Ambassador to mans world motiff people knowing her name is Diana and who she is hasn't been a big deal. She had a name AND a Title(the outfit she wears is her prize for winning a tournament to BE the Spokeswoman for Themyscara), everybody knows now that she is Diana, granted in the recently released  Justice league vs Teen Titans animated movie they had her and Superman in their nascent romance donning glasses and laid back outfits to just be regular people. Superman showing Wonder Woman what it means to be a NORMAL person and how important that can be to connect to the world around you and not feel othered(because he GREW UP A NORMAL PERSON). I honestly think that if Zack Snyder made a Wonder Woman movie instead of Superman it would hit the mark much better, because feeling out of place is more a Wonder Woman thing since where she grew up the world is ruled by women, most are as well trained as her, some as powerful(or close to it), and she wouldn't really understand the mannerisms or the actions of those in places like Gotham and Metropolis. Especially the non Alter Ego having Wonder Woman, no matter what you know she is Diana Prince, so even if she isn't in costume you know to run up to her if you are in trouble and expect Supreme Butt Kickery. Nobody would have looked at her or treated her like just plain old Diana, what did you do this weekend "Giiiirl why do you always look so tired in the morning, do you have a hot man keeping you up at night?" As such she would only see the people around her as folks who needed to be saved, unlike at home where if somebody attacked the ENTIRE ISLAND would pick up arms to fight(don't believe me go pick up a comic, she comes from a land of warriors). That would get annoying quick, that would make you question WHY you do it, because you would never have down time. Clark Kent can ask people how they think about Superman and why, and he would get their actual feelings so he could at least understand what it is he might need to change. Would you tell Wonder Woman to her face how you felt about her knowing she could toss you AND your car across the city? Yeah I ain think so.

It is Lex Luthor or Alexander Luthor Jr?

I will stand behind this statement til the end of time:  A Hero is only ever as good as the villains that he has to face. As the INITIAL big bad of this movie Jessie Eisenberg as Lex Junior SUCKS. Of the many villains I could see him trying to be Lex Luthor or anybody from the Luthor Loins just doesn't track with me. I could see him as Jim Carey's Riddler(Though a poor knock off) I could even see him as "The Mad Hatter" which many of his actions and motivations seem to hint to, AT LEAST without the deleted scene which shows him meeting somebody from DarkSeids homeworld(Possibly Steppenwolf). Minus the deleted scene many of his actions seem to be that of a broken mind, a tortured genius, or of someone who has been severely mentally abused over time. Now as someone who has seen many different iterations of Lex Luthor I can say this without any doubts in my mind: Lex Luthor is a Narcissist. He believes that he is the epitome of what it means to be the PERFECT Human Being, he is a physical specimen(though said specimen hood could be adjusted to match that of the age. He was kind of Barrel Chested when Gene Hackman was playing him, in the cartoon he was cut just like Batman/Bruce Wayne, in the comics he has been wiry but in shape and a cut just like batman just depends when you see him from), a genius intellect, and a man not to be trifled with at all. Now as we have become more aware of the effects of a Narcissist on those around him/her especially family Lex Jr. could be showing signs of being slightly mentally broken due to the pressures of being the son of THAT Lex Luthor(Especially Hackman or Spacey's) so as my friend JW says look at him through the light of Lex Luthor's son.

Which okay I can do that, but he still sucks. If you are the son of a Narcissist you probably are tired of things creeping up on you and biting you in the behind(this ain wordpress), so IF you had found out the secret identities of:Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, the Flash, Cyborg, and Aquaman guess what you would have done? Killed each and every last one of them, through poison, trickery whatever but you WOULDN'T just sit there and leave them be to grow into a real problem later. Another thing DAD(if we are going to say this is Junior)is a huge Xenophobe(basically you hate anything foreign now we use it for folks who hate immigrants, mostly who don't look like them but for THAT older Lex Luthor it's aliens from another planet) and IF the deleted scene is to be believed his son would be WARY OF ALL ALIENS not just white guys from the planet Krypton. Lex Luthor Sr. didn't like Darkseid anymore than he liked Superman or Jon Jonnz, or Hawk Girl since she was a Thanigarian(sp), he believed that humans were better being their own heroes. I can forgive his broken mind a little if you are telling me that at some point in time he had a run in with a mother box but he was weird to START the movie, so unless you are saying that this happened pre Kryptonian ship, thus made him look up all the meta humans why is he broken before the movie starts, how does he already know who Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman and everyone else is and why hasn't he done anything about it yet.

Side not:Lex Luthor is not Smarter than BATMAN. No, no, no no this isn't a topic up for debate Lex IS NOT SMARTER THAN BATMAN. 

Lex Luthor like everyone else in the movie appears to just do stuff. There is no motivation there it's like: you see my name, know who I am supposed to be so I should be doing this right? Wrong, If I go back to Gene Hackman:Lex Luthor is the Greatest Criminal Mind of our Times and thus Superman this awesome force for good is in his way and a thorn in his side, he must be stopped because he is constantly in his way. Kevin Spacey's Lex Luthor ALSO the greatest criminal mind of our times, he has a vision of how the world SHOULD work and taking out Superman makes it so much easier for him to do so. You know what let me get into this in it's own section

MOTIVATIONS

Nobody in this movie has any. Superman doesn't know if he wants to be Superman or not, he knows he has found a girl. The girl knows who he is and accepts him as such, and life is awesome for him. NOOOOOOOOOOO! While Lois EVENTUALLY finds out who he is, in the beginning she knows that Clark Kent is one guy and that Superman is this awesome guy and that while Clark is Nice Superman is the ultimate and she relishes every moment she spends with him. Yes it's a SPLOOSH moment every time she sees the red and blue boy scout, no she doesn't notice that he and Clark have the: Same color eyes, same chin, same height, same relative build, same hair color, pretty much the same voice, and are never in the same place at the same time? Should I have done those as bullet points maybe, BUT in her mind they are probably more of a run on sentence. Hell even in All Star Superman Lex Luthor points out that if it WASN'T for Superman, Lois Lane would probably see what a great guy Clark was(Potential Man Crush, maybe). In the comics and most cartoons trying to win Lois Lane as Clark Kent is extremely important to him. Lois treats Clark as an equal, hell sometimes a rival and it makes for a truly dynamic relationship. She is never all dreamy eyes at Clark(yes yes, I remember Smallville. Yes she was kind of dreamy eyed at Clark in Smallville BUT she was also a huge Blur stan. Before she found out the truth), she can sometimes think he is sweet, often naive but never perfect and awesome and everybody should be more like him. Hell hilariously in the comics she often tells Clark to be more like Superman(to which he always give like this knowing wink to the reader/viewer with a smirk), because she always sees timid Clark who might get the story but doesn't seem to take too many chances. Which is funny considering that he usually gets awesome stories, as far as she knows he is completely human, and yet he is still in just as many dangerous situations as she is whilst Superman is invulnerable so really isn't taken any chances unless Kryptonite is involved... Yeah crazy right. Trying to win Lois as the guy John and Martha raised is important to him, because THAT is who he really is, Superman is this ideal that he is trying to create and maintain to inspire the world something you never got in this movie. Hell even his mother Martha Kent doesn't seem to think him being Superman is that important.

Batman kills people, so why would he care about how many folks die because Superman was involved. Seriously, did they not think this out. If your Batman doesn't kill he at least has the Moral High ground of, "OMG he is trying to do the right thing but how can he not understand that the only difference between US and THEM is that We(the heroes) don't kill." He has the Kind of Injustice like Batman and Superman though, Superman the son of Zod and Batman the vampire. Killing is sometimes whats needs to be done, to hell with being better than the villains and being an example of tough but necessary justice. Batman believes that the court system is vital and needed. He may think that it is inefficient, easily persuaded by money, and broken but he still sends the majority of his villains to face justice. If Batman is going to be Judge Batman, is there even an Arkham or a Blackgate? I mean why even have a police force in Gotham Batman kills most of his villains and you know the average everyday SUPER EXPENDABLE henchman level bad guys, yeah they retired so they could live longer. Even the killing guys branded with Batman's mark would have caused him to look into it.

Lex Luthor finds out everybody's identity, vulnerability, and location why? Other than being a really successful industrialist, maybe having a few under the table dealings here and there why would he want to stop Superman? I mean he has a good run here, nothing he is doing seems to be getting on anybody's radar? Why is he gonna mess that up just to kill a guy who isn't bothering him? Yeah think about that for a second, if Anything Superman is Lex Luthor's best friend, he isn't bothering him and is letting him make more and more money. Hell he probably has government contracts built around stopping, counter acting, or even containing the man of steel, Superman is good for Lex Luthors business.

Wonder Woman, why would she care if Lex Luthor has a picture of her? Do folks not have the internet? Ever seen the picture of the Guy who Looks like Pharrel? How about the one who looks like Keanu Reeves? You look hard enough there will be a guy or gal who looks similar to you from back in the day, she could have either A laughed it off or B if she was you know the Wonder Woman all the time Diana just said, "Yes and? I told you I was the immortal creation of the Greek Gods." Again that begs the question: If the Kryptonians were about to destroy the ENTIRE PLANET, and She was already Wonder Woman way back in WWII, why didn't She, Batman, Aquaman, or the Flash show up to try and help. Themyscara is on planet earth right, so something that is about to terraform the planet and kill ALL NON KRYPTONIANS on it would be a huge problem right. It's almost like Zack Snyder did a Stand Alone Superman movie, that was then FORCED to be an all inclusive DC universe movie.  

Let me continue this in a Part 2, cause I already know this is extremely Wordy. So get ready for the FURTHER Problems of batman v superman

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