There is this thought pattern that always drives me nuts. "I can say it but you can't", or "I can do it and you can't and if you do I'm gonna complain that you are doing it, while acting like I'm not". Now I am as human as the next person, so there are times that while I know I need to be calm in a situation my emotions get the best of me, and once you cross a certain imaginary line(or sometimes well delineated line) I am in full attack mode and I dare anyone to try and stop me.
Unless you are completely blind I am pretty sure you can see I am black, black from where you may not be sure but at least darkly complected nonetheless as such while I may not like somebody white saying the n-word (grr I hate that phrase but we all know that word is unacceptable and in my grown blog we do not use unacceptable words and yes I am mentally saying that like 100 times to stay within the freakin rules, did I mention I HATE RULES), there are contexts where I have to accept in. Say in a movie where the role calls for them to say the N word. Fine it's something the character would say, it's repulsive and probably meant to be repulsive gotta let it go. Maybe they are reciting a song, and if it is a rap song, well nine times out of time yup gonna be a few N-words dropped. F-bombs, B's, H's, and other colorful metaphors to help paint a picture. I used to reflexively scream hey, but now if your feeling a song and rolling with it they said it, your repeating it word for word who am I gonna be pissed at him or you? And in all honesty anger tends to cloud the issue anyway doesn't it?
I mean yes I use the word, and sometimes more often then others because it definitely does describe some people to a T of all shades, economic levels and ages. And some of the worst folks for this type of activity are "intellectuals" MAAAYNE do they do some of the most n-wordish crap. They just put on elegants suits to do it with, can I tell you how I really feel about all the words that have been buried? How about the pleas about the national debt now that a non republican is in office, or a republican complaining about the state of education when everytime one of them gets in an executive position of power the walk into work each day with a "how can I cut educational spending today" list. Not gonna make this a conservative bashing thread, Women complaining about not being able to find good men, but telling the nice guys if only I could find a guy like you when he's single. Let him be married though draws raining down in his face(well some guys faces, I don't even get a drizzle). My favorite statement women can't be trusted, umm excuse me but are those breasts and a vagina I see on you?
It seems like the only person allowed to engage in the "Sin of choice" is of course the "detector" you know that "moral" person who is pointing out everyone else's shortcomings because they themselves are such a bastion of perfection. (We will not curse we will not curse) Man I swear I knew this blog would be hard but this is getting brutal, notice how no names are mentioned maybe political affiliation, gender or .... yeah dunno how I am gonna be obtuse going forward so just roll with a bruh. I love flawless people just something about them brings out the most visceral parts of my jersey nature. I see all their veins, all their bruises, all their weak spots and I am coming for them(yeah yeah you thought I was a nice guy, I am nice not a push over, wimp or fool). Because flawlessness rarely goes past the very top of the surface, even in polishing something if you look close enough you can still see the smallest amounts of the either polishing liquid or the fibers of the polishing cloth. Maybe you see the direction in which it was polished when you tilt the object in the light. Then again thats why the flawless tend to be flashy and distant. You know you have to have exclusive privileges to get up close and personal to flawless. And by the time you get there most likely you have already drank enough of the kool aid to call those blemishes "distinguishing marks", see how quick that gets flipped. You go from being flawless to having distinguishing marks, you know a mole on ones face(yes it's a mole) becomes a beauty mark depending on the height. I mean I captain scar tissue have a few moles(at least I think they are moles, hell I have so many scars mostly healed scars, never healed scars long story I'm digressing BADLY) they are in weird places I think(I mean is there a such a thing as a weird place for a mole?) I mean on my face some of them might be deep black heads but the one between my toes is definitely maybe a mole, and the one on my shoulder
Slight digression: What is it with blackberry's lately it's almost like every one of them is on the fritz the last couple of weeks my battery won't charge it keeps locking up even if I clear the cache it decides to ignore signals even if it had 2 or 3 bars one second then all the sudden SOS like WTF. I want sooo bad to blame it on T-mobiles jankey shake tail self but it's blackberry's across the board almost every carrier. It's like may 2010 was the millenium for blackberry's. Grrrr
Back to the topic yeah got moles. Now I would LOOOOVE to call myself flawless, if I could get rid of this acne I have had since I could get acne(yall just don't know the crap I have tried) I would love to lie and say I wouldn't know what to do with my self but I would, I would just be me without the acne. I'm only intellectually vain, and slightly gaming vain(SHUT IT UP you deserved to get merced with a shottie at close range, between the eyes, while you thought you was safe and if you caught the C4 next time sweep the room or enable sitrep), but physically vain nope, never had it all together at any one time to be physically vain.
And in essence thats what it is though, vanity. "I'm that(big your ignorant sounding word here) you can't see me but wanna be me" you just mad because. And oooooh god will everybody quit swearing somebody is hating on them. I can disagree with you without hating on you(though sometimes I might hate you because you dumb as a bag of something bricks, not cursing DA's and no that doesn't stand for Dan Akroyd, or Dark Arts, or Death Adder, District Attorney none of that you know what it means)
This was originally started on 6/8/10, it's now 10/20/10. Whew I think this was just one of those let primal get on a roll blogs and I went off to the races. I was gonna come back to this bad boy weed out a lot of the more random and off target thoughts but nope I think I'll just pick them apart here as I have written another blog with SOME of these issues in it, as a gamer I am sure I will do more blogs on gaming, by the way the shottie and C4 are in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I have yet to really add political commentary in this blog YET, so I guess this just shows not only the insanity I was starting to address before I got all rambley and tangenty but also the unadulterated clutter that is up in my head sometimes. I mean when I typed all that crap out man I remember how free my mind felt the next day.
So first, if I constantly see you being the pot calling the kettle black don't expect me to be all nice to you. I'm going to point out your hypocrisy simply because no conversation can move forward as long as you are sitting them using up valuable oxygen just to force us to come and talk to you. I don't mind squaring off with someone and forcing them to dance to their own tune if it allows the rest of the group to get back to the subject matter at hand.
Ladies I love you, but if you wish for it to be an even playing field and we be equal to each other than you must be willing to equally be called on you backwards thoughts and premises. Fellas sometimes you need to step up and stop just using the excuse "hey she let me get away with it, what do you expect me to do".
Somebody's sexual orientation is not my business as long as it is between two consenting adults, now if you want one adult to dress up as somebody half, 1/3 or a 1/4 of their age thats between yall and please be responsible with your kink. Now if I catch you with a minor and you are found guilty I reserve the right to call for the flambeing of your genitalia. Now yes as I guy thinking back to when I was a kid I may think getting banged by the hot teacher wasn't a bad thing, I'm a guy I would have been getting sex. As unfair as it is it's different it just is, guys want sex, are allowed to have sex and are not socially ostracized for getting sex and actually the more of it they have the higher their profile in society. Women should be allowed to pursue that same path if they so want, it's a barbaric practice, that has nothing to do with their virtue and everything to do with their value in a business deal and at the time in a world more built on the strength of ones back not the power of their mind a certain boorish bullying attitude towards the "fairer and weaker" sex. Ladies if you want some get some, if somebody has something to say they will always have something to say so ignore them.
Politically I lean liberal I do have a few opinions here and there that may ping either moderate or conservative, so be it that is human even in our own being we are not monolithic. And in the political realm the trickery to try to convince me I am wrong is so lackluster. Telling me which Iconic black folks(I'm saying black since that is my ethnic group like most african americans I do have native american in my blood but it was not something we brought up as common place and I know none of that heritage or the customs, which is funny considering the african in my delineation I also have little knowledge of but it's americanization I know plenty) were republican or conservative, back then MAYBE it was worthwhile to be a republican. Problem is the current republicans seem to be the heirs of the dixiecrats and guess what those Iconic folks you were talking about were ANTI DIXIECRAT that much I do know. I learned recently(dunno why its a big damn surprise to me, he was alive during the time period, in a state thats was or should have been due to its proximity to other heated race interactivity states, and what do you know he's black) that during the whole school integration period my Dad had a few run ins with the dogs and fire hoses. Now he would have been a very young man at the time barely into his teens so it wasn't like he was trying to make some huge political statement he was just going to school. Maybe because me and him rarely talked like that when I was younger did I not put 2 and 2 together, plus my schooling was done in new jersey so I wouldn't have been able to see the significance of such an anecdote.
But I have been a registered democrat for over 17 years now, so even without that knowledge of the ignorance of dixiecrats to my blood line and the man from who I get my government name, I still do not agree with their policies. Hell not only their policies but their practices because many of them speak this great game and yet when it is magic time what they do is nothing like what they proposed.
As was stated I can be sharp tongued, I'm not gonna pull any punches so the fact that you feel a quick sting could be me going in on the subject matter, or the gist of your argument. It ain always personal but sometimes it is. If I see you attacking our black women, I will be there to fight, if you try to basically belittle the effort I put in to distinguishing myself and others like me from the pack of untrained wolves ignoring my packs precision and accuracy, if you trying to pee on me and act like your pants aren't on your ankles and the stream isn't leaving your body. I have plenty of personalities locked up in this cluttered mind, a few of them even love conflict, desire it, thrive on it. Being foolish enough to step into the den is all that is required
okay I am not trying to write a book(at this time, maybe later, when I get a better handle on some decent chops)so let me end this here
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