Capricorn December 22-jan20

Long round about description of who I am and how I get sometimes. It's the beginning of the year As that link says I can be stable, a rock, Mr. Dependable until I get a bout of the lows and then poof, what happened to him. Simply put all that steadfastness, determination and strength of will comes at a high price. Sooner or later I have to sit back and realistically look at where I am, and no I'm not nice to myself when I do it. You can see a great guy, who does awesome things, for lots of people and is the guy you want to call if you need a hand. I see the guy who you ONLY call when you need a hand, ahem hello I like to have fun to. I don't mind reaching out to see whats up from time to time, but don't act like your fingers are broken it doesn't help with those dances with deep depression I tend to do from time to time. NO I do not need to seek serious help, am I still here than trust me anything I run up against at 36 is nothing compared to what it took to get me to 36.

Thing is unless it's a Mighty Mouse moment(I picked the more recent one not the original sue me) I can stay there until I find a reason to dig myself out. And usually being in the depths of the dark pit really doesn't stop me from being able to do everything else people are used to me doing. I'll still go to work, still get my crap done, you annoy me I'll still have a flippant retort if I think you're worthy of the waste of oxygen it takes to address you. But I'm on autopilot, there is no real passion or strength of will behind it(I know doesn't make it any less sharp just means if you shut up quickly I won't go in for the kill), hell if you need help figuring it out my brain still works fine it's just bugging the hell out of me at the moment and I truly wish it would shut up.