WHy I wouldn't recommend being a nice guy/good man

There is absolutely no benefit in it. Let's be honest most women are the queens of the listen to what I say don't pay attention to what I am actually doing mindset. I mean from personal experience most who know me will admit yes I am a good guy, no that is not to say pushover yes I can be overly opinionated, strong minded, picky and determined(trying to find a way to say butt hole in a nice way to stay within the guidelines of the blog). I am still a good man though never cheated in my life, I go out of my way to help you hell sometimes out of my way, I am loyal to a fault, and as long as your with me you don't have to worry about being scared that I won't be in your corner.

And all that and 3 bucks might get me a cup of coffee on a saturday night ALONE. Why is this, because most women while to "protect their image" will claim that they are looking for a guy with my general characteristics I'm not who they are looking for. Now I'm not the handsomest cat on the planet, or the tallest(I'm 5'10 so I'm average height), I won't deny that I have added a good 50 pounds since high school, but I know I'm not the ugliest cat and I know as long as I feel you are worthy there is no such thing as me being a tight wad. I may not throw my money in everybody's direction but I will spend whatever on a cause or person who I feel is a worthwhile investment, period. I mean lets be honest, there are a lot of guys out here like me, intelligent, hard working, compassionate, kind, understanding and humble.  As I have said before the names for us are usually Herb, Cornball, Punk, Square, and Lame. The reasons are simple we believe in looking deeper then just ya bra size and your measurements and believe that you deserve to be respected if you have earned it.

Most guys like me feel that if I'm with a woman I think is beautiful and she loves me I am the luckiest man on the planet, I'm not trying to run out and prove I can get 50 women just like you I'm trying to find ways to spend more time with you and maximize the memories. What good is that I guess I mean if your not the top choice of a guy with a harem I guess that ain good enough. It appears that most women would rather have a guy string them along for years because he makes their girlfriends jealous(or wet cause he may just be with you because you and your crew of friends he is planning to hit are pretty) then be with somebody who actually wants to share the rest of their lives with them. Oh I know "successful" women can't find a man, no while some of these women MIGHT be successful some of them are overstating their station and current value. Not only that but they can't offer half of what they are asking for so really how you expect to be given a home run when you may only be giving a double is beyond me ie how you expect to get someone who will fulfill your wildest dreams when you may not even be able to meet that persons expectations halfway is foolish and immature.

I know I often fight with women on this subject for a simple reason, you want me to take you seriously as an individual yet you want to lump me into a group with your ex, some dude who you gave the time of day and wasn't worthy of your time, or the other "top choices" you decide to deal with but are constantly leaving you wanting for more. As has often been said the common denominator going forward in any relationship you are involved in IS YOU. Thats right ladies if you can NEVER find a man that meets your qualifications sit down and figure out if you meet your own qualifications.

Most relationships are about balance and give and take. While the "classic" role definition may not be necessary role definition is necessary. If you make more fine, you make more but if you don't want him rubbing your nose in how much more then you he makes, and how he is big time and your small potatoes remember that when your in the big dog position. If you don't want to cook and he doesn't have a problem with it you better have something you can bring to the table in it's place, make a mean martini, love the same team as he does something. Most women fall into a trap of they have a set resume they want their man to meet up with yet when it comes time to see what dude wants "well why can't he just accept me for me" and the answer is simple "because you want him to live up to your expectations". And that isn't a bad thing, or a petty thing at all that is as long as you can reciprocate.

If you like long walks in the park, quiet evenings, and a foot massage after a long day when he talks about wanting to go to a ball game even if it's in the snow you better wrap ya behind up and go with him. If he is willing to sit through a chick flick, you better go see at least one action movie or comedy. If while you know you want him close you know you want girl time, if you expect him to trust you until otherwise proven you better trust him. Because honestly the only person you are showing is untrustworthy is yourself, yeah I said it if your saying basically that when out of your sight he would cheat the only way you could think that way is if out of his sight you are doing stuff you know he wouldn't like.  And don't present some ideal woman you think he wants, be willing to find a man who loves the real you flaws and all. Somebody who you ain got to worry about taking your mask off and him feeling betrayed.  If a man can't like you for who you are he isn't worth your time anyway, ever wonder how guys can constantly get told no yet continue to ask women out. Simple we know when we find the right one it will be magical(if we're looking for the right one, if we're just looking for draws it will still be magic just for a shorter period of time, what would you rather I lied to you? Too bad I ain got time for that).

All this being said who still gets the majority of the phone numbers? Who when you ask them are women constantly making excuses for why they date instead of making excuses as to why maybe you just aren't there type? And it's kinda funny because many of the reasons given if a guy were to turn it around on a woman on she would be pissed. Because it has nothing to do with her and everything to do with what you think she will be like because of how she looks, and that is the same way she's looking at Mr. Nice guy. Because he isn't disrespectful he must not be strong, if you think about it though what takes more strength pushing people around so you don't have to listen to them or finding a way to get along and work with them even if you might disagree? Yet not realizing it is a condemnation of themselves women will complain oh well I will just walk all over him, yeah um that isn't a fault on his part if your like that you need to go work on you. Patience is the virtue not an overblown sense of self.

Well bad boys know how to "do it better" yeah okay, if you still ain getting off and he has a long list of things you want to try that he don't is it that he does it better or that he just takes you more forcefully and for that few moments he's there it's raw passion yet your still not fulfilled. Sometimes you have to respect that it takes time to learn what your partner does and does not like, just like it takes time to learn what you like. And if you are unwilling to show that person your probably don't want to be fulfilled, I'm just saying.

Oh yeah nice guys are too shy, well actually a real nice guy is trying to get to know you first, before he goes all out and lets you in he wants to make sure you are worth the time he is gonna dedicate to you, and yes I said dedicate. Because those bad boys who are running their mouths usually forget about you once they get what they want, I mean how often do you complain about a nice guy not calling you back and checking to see how your day is? I mean yes your still going to argue doesn't matter who you are in a relationship with you are gonna have a disagreement and you need to. You have to see if you can work it out with someone when you disagree maybe your right maybe he's right but right ain gonna keep you warm at night. Nor will it hold you as well as the other person will so you have to be willing to come to an agreement and stick to it.  You have to be willing to weather a storm or two together to see how you are gonna deal with the long haul.

I know I know it's a lot to think about, but then again if you want the best how are you just gonna walk in the door and get it without doing any research yes if you blind fold a monkey and give him a dart sooner or later he will land on the name Tiffany, Saks, BMW, or Mercedes but wouldn't you rather take you time and find it yourself and save a lot of time, hassle and heart break?

Okay the day has passed so let me do this dang blog

Yes I am officially 35, 2009 has been quite an interesting year. I've changed addresses again(what is it with me and not staying in the same place for a full damn decade, going back over my history I have always moved at least once in a decade and this decade I have been an over achiever might get into that around new years), I know for reasons of saving money I am staying with family but they got caught up like a lot of folks in the mortgage crisis, so we had to move. Oh well life happens. The business has grown so while I have been in memphis longer then I had originally planned I am making progress on that goal at least.  I have made two trips to atlanta this year, I met some great fellow bloggers the first trip this trip I spent 3 holidays with my wife(okay I am spending, spent our anniversary, spent my birthday then of course christmas, having a christmas eve birthday has it's perks and will spend new years), we've had fun.

Got some necessary items for the home and have been enjoying each others company. I would brag on what I have gotten for christmas but I have been robbed twice on this on so joyous holiday so I know to keep it shut, we didn't but a lot this year was about spending time together. I guess I have done okay, I mean I haven't done great this year. Let's see I'm in a payment agreement with Dewey, Cheatum and howe I mean it's comical, though the best part of the comedy is with all of their wicked ways they ain getting over on nobody but themselves.  I need to renew my license, it expired the on my birthday. I have to go to court for an accident I was in when I get back. As has already been stated I need a new laptop, so I will also be chronicalling that journey over the coming months both on here and possibly on ply. I'll give the Laptop name and probably model number, a few of it's features what I like and what I don't like. Right now I'm leaning towards a Vaio mainly because I like Sony products (except for the PS3 still don't own one yet) and I want one with a blu ray player in it and it seems to come standard with Vaio's.  I digress.

09 has been an interesting year for me, Have learned a lot got me a crackberry been enjoying the hell out of that. I've done more travelling around the midsouth, started to exercise a little bit need to get on that a whole llt more though. Hmm I mean usually I do these blogs the day of my birthday but with my laptop being dead well it wasn't that easy.  So this is my attempt at catching up, I should also state that while I have blogged a few times on the Wii it isn't as easy or as user friendly as a laptop or desktop. Desktop I have in memphis laptop has died here so for now I am without.

Glutton for punishment

Let's be honest you're not sitting here reading this right now so why sit here and type it out. I mean I don't give this blog pub So while I have a minor following in other places where people might respond as of this point on this blog I'm the sound of a tree falling in the middle of the forest. So why waste the time typing this one out while my laptop is fried? Simple because I wanna see how hard it would be to blog from this Wii for right now. Yup I am typing this blog from Wii internet channel, trying to see how hard it would be and what it would take to get it done. That way if I do decide to go ahead and blog on my more established blog that folks are probably wondering if I died on or if I am just having too much fun on vacation to be bothered to respond, I might try to blog there. But some place always has to be the guinea pig, and yes today this time, blogger/blogspot is that test subject.

Now I will admit it is slightly weird not being able to see more then a line at a time is SOMEWHAT messing up my flow. I mean I admit to having diarhea of the keys on my best day but when I can't see how long the paragraph has gotten or how far I have allowed the sentence to run, yup puts me at a slight disadvantage. Plus no mouse interaction nor other minor functions that I have gotten so used to on my laptop and desktop, no auto spell check, I actually would have to go back through the whole blog to edit(yea yea call me mildly lazy), I can't cut and paste(did not realize how much I like that ability til now). SO if I do decide to ply it, man I got to be ready for war, kind of reminds me of typing up my reports in high school before I got a PC or where had a reliable computer lab handy. MAAAAAAAAAYNE the amount of correction tape I used to run through, and the pages I would have to retype when I missed words or letters. Can I tell you whippersnappers something thank the baby jesus(yeah yeah I did watch talledega nights shoot me now as much as I complain about the stupidity of that movie) that you have PC's everywhere that are mostly user friendly. Because the ease that yall have it now, cutting, pasting, selecting whole lines or hell being able to read the entire presentation before either e-mailing it, or printing it out. Whew I would probably be my english teachers favorite student presentation wise anyway if I had a PC of todays quality back in the early 90's.

I mean yes I happen to type at a decent rate, but even typing at a decent rate doesn't save you from a mistake or two when it's on the paper(like say the 3 times I just hit ; instead of ' or the b's I hit trying to type instead).

Now I don't blame my problems I am noticing so far on opera hell for what it was probably planned for, this is working out swimmingly, but I will say this is an interesting experience that depending may cause me to wait til the new year to get a new laptop when wifey has agreed to let me spend a little more dough.

I think I will buy a Laptop in the $600-$800 range(I can't use the end button yall gonna make me cuss and this is my Parental Unit friendly blog, and by parental unit I mean my parents I don't curse in front of them unless one slips out) a couple of nice sony, dell and toshiba offerings in that range. I mean I like my acer it was a great laptop and for the last 2 years has served me quite well but a dead fan is a dead fan, I could probably steal one from another acer or hell stick my hard drive in one of the other acer laptops laying around the house but I need a laptop with windows 7 on it any way.

Oh well decisions decisions but I think I should have typed enough No I am not gonna try to put any HTML in here, no reason to try and fry wifey's Wii. If this looks alright maybe I'll log into multiply and talk to the family.

Toodles I hope every one is having a great holiday season. I don't know if I will do my birthday blog here or on ply since yahoo 360 decided it no longer wanted to be in the social networking game(even though that site rocked)

He who is without sin cast the first stone

I wanna remind people of something the guy who said that didn't touch a rock, pebble or brick. So for the CONTINUED Tiger Woods coverage, really why is this still a story? Is it because the Billion dollar black man listened to his penis? I mean I have yet to see the front page apologies to Michael Jackson as well as the crusade to have EVERY LAST DIME of the money he paid out to the people who were lieing on him claiming that he was a child molester repaid. So here is my question if you are a minority who has made more money in your Genre than could be imagined by your peers of any color does that mean that folks not only get to drag your name through the mud but constantly re-wet said mud daily until they really find something juicier to talk about? I mean seriously, I mean he is just a golfer but for real how many athletes at college or above level if I follow them from the practice or game facility to their hotel room am I not gonna find the essence of groupie?

And as for some of the sports columnists is it jealousy? I mean what is the main difference between them and tiger woods, he isn't FREAKISHLY HUGE, think about most of them the sports they comment about they have no chance in. A bunch of 99 pound soaking wet or out of shape 300 pound blow hards. But golf, golf is all about technique, the swing, the decision making. And while there have been successful golfers in the past nobody is as dominant as fast as one T. Woods. So I wonder is this more then sour grapes is this also a sense of I can't get him anywhere else so let me pound this one instance of weakness until I run out of new ways to talk about the same thing. He cheated, whoopee his wife had the prenup renegotiated she'll get more dough if she decides to leave but past that his infidelity is not news past the first night. It isn't, how many people cheat in relationships, I mean really where does the morality police stand when it comes to me being allowed to root around in their closets to check and see if that assistant they travel with all the time isn't a traveling butt buddy.

Sam Raimi had it captured best in the first spiderman everybody is waiting for the hero to fail they wish to see you go out in that blaze of glory because then they become the important one, oh your still the legend and you are still great but now the storyteller takes center stage because if you are no longer out there doing it only the people who saw you and have said memories can tell the tale. Tiger and Elin aren't getting a divorce, your young daughter doesn't have a chance to bring Tiger's billions into the fold, I'm sorry you can say all you want but that swedish babe seems to like where she is and like many other women married to rich husbands probably just chastised him for being so sloppy with it and is sending him on his merry way, I mean think about it is he sending her divorce papers? No, that means going forward every dollar he makes(and I will remind you that a pissed off Tiger Woods is the terror of any golf tournament) she will still get the benefit of, like Kobe's wife more big diamonds are in her future.

The women who divorce their famous husbands unless they have writing skills, or say like Kimora Lee decent fashion acumen where do they go once big daddy's pockets are gone? Usually back to wherever they started unless Big Daddy decides to be generous and take care of her going forward, but even then you are only there until Big Daddy either runs out of dough or decides your not an expense worth paying for anymore. While together and still with him, well what do you know baby I'd like and as a husband especially one who probably has a slightly guilty conscience your getting it with no worries. And if he has some fetishes that you aren't into well guess what he can have those needs fulfilled by some sideline female you could care less about.

So honestly why are we still talking about Tiger? I mean is this part of the reason he was so dominant not only was he good on the links but he was also Mr. Playa Playa if so thats between him and his wife. I know many folks are all gossip all the time, but usually if somebody is that busy gossiping about someone else's life they really aren't to happy about their own. I mean honestly if my life was all that wouldn't I spend the majority of my time trying to live it? Let that marinate

Wii are a little sore,lol

I'm telling you the nintendo wii is a great invention. It's gets you off the couch and every game is more and more fun each time you play it. All I have is the Wii Sports game that comes bundled and I have yet to get bored with it. Now I am a little sore, all those serve returns, punches, home run hits and long drives do take a slight toll. It's almost like actually being out there doing it.

Now while he always complains and says he ain into video games I think I could even get my dad into the Wii golf, especially since you actually have to swing like you do a real golf club. I would probably have to get him the club attachment for him to make the connection but it should work for him too. Get him the Wii tiger woods game and let him go at it.

As for the Wii fitness tests they have on there I wanna say some days I can't stand them, day one I was 33, day two I was 24, and day 3 was a personal low I was 46, my wife was dying today I was 27 though so it's an ebb and flow thing, but it is fun. Oh for those who have a Dlink wireless or any other wireless router make sure you wireless is either on channel 1 or channel 11 mine was on channel 6 and acted like it didn't wanna actually connect to the internet changed it to 1 and it worked just fine. I know with it being christmas time gaming packages are starting to go on sale so if you want some nice family fun pick one up, haven't bought any games yet, that may or may not come next week if we do dunno what I plan to pick up.  But like I said it's a blast and I hope wifey will enjoy it.

My vacation is going quite well and I am going to try and tweet and blog a little more, unfortunately my laptop fan is deciding that it doesn't want to cooperate I already knew I was in need of a new one because with my job I need to be up on the latest OS, so I need to get a pc or laptop with windows 7 on it. But the constant shutoff due to overheating is killing me. Hell I am doing this blog again on a wednesday after starting it tuesday.  Just tiring as hell. hopefully I can get through this quickly. Okay another vaca blog may come soon, I may try blogging from the wii next. Ve shall see

It's finally happened

For our anniversary/christmas my wife wanted a Wii console. Now we tried to get one at walmart, they had this special going buy a Wii console and get a $50 dollar walmart card with it, so basically get a Wii for $150. I wanted to get up on that but only stocking 2 or 3 a day in the store ain gonna cut it. So we went to best buy(if I hadn't said it before I will say it again if you buy a lot of electronics, or media get a best buy reward zone card, those $25, $35 and $15 dollars off coupons come in handy trust me I'm always using them) best buy had plenty of them, so we bought one. Didn't have money for another game(yet I got to get some severe dental work done, which is another blog that I might do tonight) now I said this when I got my 360 and now that I have actually played a Wii for an extensive period of time(well most of the afternoon on the 11th) I will reiterate Nintendo  was trying to be the second console if you wanted next gen hi def gaming but with as much fun as me and the wife had it could be your first console easy.

Besides it's much cheaper price tag then it's competitors the nintendo wii is an easy system to pick up by that I mean you don't have to be game master to enjoy a Wii. The Nintendo Wii that we purchased game with one Wii mote, a nunchuk, Wii sports and the console. Can I say wifey whooped me at Wii bowling hell she doubled me up a couple of times. It seems me and Wii bowling are the same as me and REAL bowling somedays I'll knock them all down others maaaaan I couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. Okay that was a little white lie it ain some days it's some throws, I mean in one frame I can have a bunch of great throws and a bunch of bad ones it's comical. Now Wii sports is not just Wii bowling(thank god, cause she would have been running off at the mouth about it FOREVER) it's got golf(we tied) tennis(whooped her), baseball(I played she didn't) and Boxing we only bought one extra controller and no nunchuk so we haven't boxed each other yet.

Let me say this if you are trying to figure out a fun way to burn some calories before you truly kick it into high gear buy a wii cause you will get tired, and you will burn calories. And MAAAAAN, Wii baseball if you can get your swing right yes you will nail homers left and right. And it does allow for some bonding and good old fashioned fun, so nintendo congratulations you have a nice little system on your hands.

Next up on my list of things to get and try an PS3

Don't be flaunting your bliss round me

We all know the saying ignorance is bliss. Thing is I find it funny that because in some peoples uninformed or under informed stupor they expect the rest of us to just let them act out and don't expect any consequences for said actions.

I know I get accused of being pro man a lot, and yes I am pro man, but it ain pro every man it's pro MAN. You know guys who actually go out of their way to be responsible, respectful, honest and decent. Are they always gonna hit the mark 100% of the time hell no, to date I believe only 1 person hit the 100% always doing the right thing. I do however reserve the right not to include people in the men club who only hit the mark 30% of the time or less. I'm also pro woman, oh I know some folks are rolling their eyes I could care less. I'm pro woman because I want the best for them, it ain all about the draws with me. I really do love women, so if they are making a stupid mistake or following bad advice I try to intercede because I personally hate hearing "I told you so" from people who actually didn't say it but egged me on. Or even better "see I knew all about that should have listened to me" you know that good old I could have told you so but I wanted to let you get your lumps first. Again not pro every woman pro women actually out there trying to do their best to live their dreams, support their families and live a decent life.

So when a man or woman acts out, and I feel they are wrong I am gonna call them on it. Oh I know what will happen, man why don't you give a dog a break you ain perfect either. No I'm not perfect but why am I gonna give you a break if you have shown that it's not A break you want, but 100 breaks, you don't wanna act right you just want to be given a pass when you don't act right. And ladies if your coming out being loud and wrong, really no leg to stand on yet in defense you either spitting the "brothers are worthless, all men ain spit" or my favorite I'm just being sexist. Yeah your bad behavior doesn't change your responsibility nor does it make me a bad person for pointing it out. The only way we find out what is or isn't acceptable is if somebody tells us, because no matter what age people will go as far as you let them. Most of us see or can figure out where the "line in the sand" is drawn but everybody loves a challenge is that really the line or is it just a warning saying look  please try and stay behind this. So how can it be proven to you that yes it's a hardline someone has to tell you. No it doesn't always have to be me but if your interacting with me guess what yes I am gonna tell you.

Another thing if somebody else gets away with something and that is your defense as to why you should be allowed to get away with it to(or someone else) just stop talking right there and realize what you are saying. You already are admitting you are wrong, not only are you admitting your wrong but know you are trying to snitch on someone else and claim see they were more wrong, what ya mama say about tattlin? Sometimes the first person to go flying over the line is the only person who is going to get away with it, simply because now they have everybody watching that spot. Trust me I'm in the surveillance business, the first time somebody breaks in a store from an angle the store owner can't see is when I get a phone call to put a camera there. If you vandalize the store from an angle he/she can't see same thing. Oh and if you and an employee are getting into it and the he said/she said might cost the owner money in goes a microphone or two. Because CYA happens on all levels, "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" and most people don't wanna bear responsibility later for your bad acts(hell they don't wanna be responsible for their own, so why pay for yours.

Now if someone else let's you get away with something hey enjoy it while it lasts, twon't be me and depending on how bad you treated the person the last time you got over might not be them the next time either. See some folks also forget that if you get away with something somebody had to be gracious enough to let it slide, so if you act too big a fool and rub the egg into their face they will be waiting until next time to go ahead and get their revenge. Just saying, yes you can show ya whole behind to someone but just because you can doesn't mean you should cause next time they might just kick you in it.