The Lazy Blogger's 2018 trailer Master Post pt.1

Yup, you see the title I still do what I always do at a movie: I buy my hot dog and EITHER the accompanying cup(I got Chewie AND Han for solo. Deadpool and Avengers were sold out DOH) or else a blue and red mixed slush. I then silence my phones, make my posts to social media, and THEN I wait trailers to roll across the screen. I type the title of each into my phone and send it to myself so that IF I so decide to blog about the movie or the TRAILERS of said movie, then boop I don't have to rack my brain. I haven't done them in a while BUT I still know what trailers went with what movie and have the lists, which of course does provide me with an interesting Opportunity, this MASTER POST.



Yup I can go through put up the trailers attached to each movie, and THEN say if said trailer was repeated at all in any of the SUBSEQUENT movies I saw later in the year. I will figure out how long to make this and exactly how detailed. I MAY include a different trailer if a later one dropped or I might attached a different trailer later on in the description with the other movies the trailer played in. Now most LIKELY movie I saw the trailer in will come up later since I have been going to the movies all year long which means movies I have seen recently were probably preview in movies I saw earlier. Nothing wrong with that, hell may actually add to fun... So without further adieu...

Trailers for Black Panther IMAX



Now I saw this movie in theaters twice on back to back weeks a FEW of the trailers were the same a couple were swapped out. So this will be the first post that I will test how I want to go about these shenanigans and the first movie previewed was:



Tomb Raider



These movie probably had the SMALLEST shot to do ANYTHING. First this movie was coming out in the WAKE of Black panther, SECOND it was coming out a WEEK after A Wrinkle in Time, and of course A week before Pacific Rim 2, and 2 weeks before Ready Player one. Tomb Raider was a MILD foreboding of what was going to happen in the month of May with it's 3 major movie franchises. On TOP of that, Alicia Vikander is stepping into the shoes that Angelina Jolie so masterfully handled in the early 2000's. Now yes Ms. Vikander is ALMOST the spitting image of the NEW Lara Croft from the video games(as Jolie was in 00's for the older 8 bit Lara), but I don't think the NEW Tomb Raider game has as big a following. She is no longer the BUSTY, DUAL WIELDING FEMME FATALE. She is a Baby Fatale, wielding a climbing pick, and finding her way in the world. I won't lie I skipped this movie, I may catch it whenever it comes to cable but this wasn't a must see for me.



I am an Angelina Jolie fan, I grew up with her awesome sassy portrayals and I am a video game fan, it was a match made in heaven. I never played more than a DEMO of a Tomb Raider game, so Jolie was the draw NOT Lara. Still haven't played the NEW Tomb Raider(Rise of the Tomb Raider), which hilarious considering I have an Xbox WITH Gamepass and it is still free within and have a PS4 and I believe it has been given away FREE a few times. It's not like Lara hasn't had PREQUEL games before but as this is a reboot of both the GAME and the MOVIE franchises, this is the START. Similar to J.J. Abrahms first Star Trek movie, this is the gang from the very beginning with a FEW twists. I think in the Games Lara's dad is always dead, in the FIRST Tomb Raider movie you have have had a few scenes with Voight and Jolie(her dad in real life and he played Lara's dad in the movie) may have been for dramatic effect though. I'll find it on Cable, Amazon, Netflix or Hulu whenever it drops.



Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom



The Sequel to 2015's Jurassic World(which I still haven't watched) as best I can they have gotten off the island AGAIN, left the dinosaurs to themselves AGAIN but this time they wish to save them because the ISLAND they are on is about to erupt. In other words HUMANS ARE COMPLETE IDIOTS. They are worried about saving the creatures who RULED THE EARTH before we crawled up out the much. They are bigger, stronger, faster, and better equipped to hunt us into extinction.



But yeah GO BACK AND SAVE THE MONSTERS. The hell is wrong with folks. There are a few nice cameos, plenty of warnings that "This is stupid, crazy, and probably gonna wipe out humanity BUT HEY DO YOU BOO BOO." Newsflash, if you EVER hear someone say that to you, that is an ABORT MISSION. But yeah, you thought JAWS had you scared to go back in the water, wait til you get alot of THESE BEASTIES. I got Jurassic World BOTH times I went to see Black Panther as well as during Pacific Rim 2 AND Infinity War



Sony's  Venom



Now that PROBABLY ain the real title, but it is how we will all refer to it. THIS trailer is an abomination(No Marvel pun intended). If THIS was all they had, they should have scrapped it and waiting til they had MORE principle CGI done. I don't remember exactly when the GOOD Venom trailer game out such as it is, but this one the one attached to the title up there SUCKED. while the SYMBIOTE is in the trailer VENOM is not. Now we DID get a venom Trailer with Deadpool 2, which at least had a few favorite tag lines in it as well as showed the suit, which I hope gets much better the closer we get to release but HERE is VENOM. While the suit does look oily, it doesn't look ALIVE not yet, hopefully as October rolls around they get on that.



A few things, Spider-man is NOT in this movie, supposedly. Which sucks, Tom Hardy PHYSICALLY looks how I picture Eddie Brock to look, big, stocky, disheveled. There would actually be a contrast between HIM and Peter Parker, not so much an attitude contrast but an actual size, weight, and musculature different which the original Appearance in Spider-man 3 DID NOT HAVE. I get it, Sony has wanted to make a Venom Movie for a while, THIS was NOT THE WAY TO DO IT not that Sony is famous for listening to the fans. Right now Marvel has shown them up, Spider-man Homecoming was WELL RECEIVED And made money, more money than BOTH of the ASM movies. Which Sucked because I like Andrew Garfield but ASM2 was a train wreck too much, way to soon, and way too under developed.



Ant-man and The Wasp



The Sequel to 2015's Ant-man follows up the events of not only the first movie but the Aftermath of Civil War and either at the same time as or right AFTER Infinity War I won't spoil Infinity War (you can go ANYWHERE ELSE on the internet and get that. First two weeks are all you are promised if you ain trying to get plots and major story developments spoiled) but if it's after WHEW are there some Doozies they have to deal with. Scott Lang has agreed to House Arrest after the events of Infinity War so that he could be SOMEWHERE near his daughter instead of on the Run with Cap and Crew. Most LIKELY he has been told NOT to use the suit but danger is coming and Of COURSE Scott is a hero and HEROES get involved. This time though, he is getting a PARTNER in HOPE VAN DYNE Aka THE WASP. Even though Hank Pym really wasn't known for it I am happy there is a certain amount of Quippage in the relationship between Hank and Scott as well as Scott and Hope.



For whatever reason(subsequent trailers show it is HANK'S FAULT not Scott's) they are now on the run because some being who can PHASE THROUGH OBJECTS is after the Pym Particles and Pym tech (The Ant-man and Wasp suits). The trailers attached to Deadpool 2 and Solo show our bad guy, it's a woman in a weird looking white suit Villain with a hood and a mask that has multiple eyes on it(may be similar to the Splinter Cell goggles though *shrug*) as well as hear about the Goliath Project where a former partner of Hank's and Scott brag about how big they have grown.



Ant-man and the Wasp appears to be one of the more POPULAR trailers I got so far this year it was shown with Black Panther(Imax and Standard), Deadpool 2, And Solo: A Star Wars Story.



Solo: A Star Wars Story



The scruffy hair, the cocky walk, the leg holster, the easily angered co-pilot, and the ship of EVERYONE'S Dreams. THIS is where it all began. A lifelong friendship started, a famous rivalry kicked off, a record set, and THE LEGEND first put on "Spurs." How did the best smuggler in the galaxy get started. Is he a spoiled rich kid run off to make a name for himself, a bored nerf herder, or a troubled teen out to make good? The name Han Solo is a lot of things to a lot of people, and NOW we get to find out why. He is a Rogue's Rogue, the bad boy every girl secretly dreams of, and the man of action many wish they could be. His YT-1300 Correlian freighter basically a souped up hot rod that he loves more than life itself. Granted he didn't actually BUY the ship, he won it, in a card game a LEGENDARY card game for which we are about to get front row seats. Han, Lando, Chewie and the Millennium Falcon buckle up You Worship, this is gonna be a bumpy ride. Got this with BOTH viewings of Black panther And Avengers Infinity War



Trailers for Black Panther Standard



As mention earlier I went to see Black Panther TWICE Once in IMAX(Worth It) and once in a standard theater showing. Most of the trailers in the STANDARD showing of Black Panther were the same save one. Surprisingly They didn't show Venom with this viewing and instead gave us



I Feel Pretty



This Amy Schumer vehicle looks like a train wreck. From every trailer I have seen it is like Shallow Hal from the Girls point of view BUT the woman's body is STILL the problem. Like seriously, she is complaining about how SHALLOW the outside world is, goes to some type of spin class, falls over, her hair gets caught, she rips out some hair and in the PROCESS slams her head into the bike next to her. And when she wakes up she REALIZES she is pretty...



Stop, stop it's AMY FREAKING SCHUMER, she's a busty blonde oooh she's a size what 8 or 9 instead of a size 2? Boo freaking hoo, nobody said nor does she believe she ain pretty. Might she complain about Baby Fat, SURE but come on now. She is basically a bombshell blonde, and the fact that basically it is Shallow Hal all over again WITH MORE OBJECTIFICATION of the FEMALE FORM from a woman.  Way to go Hollywood, as ball-less as ever. IF this were going to be VISIONARY first it would have been Melissa McCarthy funny actress but she isn't known for her looks. You can believe MELISSA might have a hard time seeing her own beauty, hell she famously joked "Nobody leaked my nudes" after nude leak number was it two or three? When folks were hacking celebrity phones and posting them on the web for all to see. Amy Schumer in this role is like a movie where J-lo plays a character who gets BUTT INJECTIONS because she doesn't like her backside, you got BOOTY quit playing. And hey NEWSFLASH how about you go after the fact that BODY IMAGE isn't just a problem for women. Guys have it to, in Shallow Hal Jack Black(yes the guy from Tenacious D and Nacho Libre who is chubby) was overly demanding, shallow and superficial. If you weren't a 10 to his 5 he couldn't even talk to you. So having Melissa McCarthy stop looking for Daniel Craig, Jason Stathom, or even a Channing Tatum as a love interest and possibly chase a Jonah Hill, Micheal Sera, or even Jay Baruchel who are by no means heart throbs but if she could see through THEM being fat, skinny, or NERDY that, that would have been an interesting movie. But no, let's take a barely fat woman and make her FINALLY see her beauty



BORING.



Since I didn't do them REAL TIME, I am not going to repeat all of the trailers since this will be read all at once. If it is a Different trailer I will mention it below but I don't think I will attempt to write it up again. At least I didn't this section.

Trailers for A Wrinkle in Time



Now AWIT is interesting, it was a book I loved as a child and if you asked me I would have said it would NEVER get a live action Movie. Animated SURE, live action nah but it did. which was kind of cool anyway here were the trailers.



The Grinch



From Illumination Studios(Despicable Me, Minions) comes another retelling of the Dr. Seuss classic in the Despicable Me Art style. Silly, slapstick, It's going to be a Grinch movie, released in NOVEMBER? WHATEVER, from next year on it will be a part of our holiday line up so who cares. laugh, cry, and snarl and the Greasy black peal with a heart 5 sizes 2 small.



Sherlock Gnomes



Really Gnomeo and Juliet got a sequel? WHY, whatever ain watch IT ain watching this but enjoy the trailer. Seriously, what person with money decided they wanted to see more of a Garden Gnome in a MANKINI, TRUST ME I have much better ideas that you can spend money on? Who is going to see this, what couldn't find any PAINT DRYING? ugh



Teen Titans Go! To the Movies



The most PANNED showed on cartoon network has gotten a movie.... Seriously, who is buying the toys to the show that we are forced to watch instead of the REAL Teen Titans or else YOUNG JUSTICE. Teen Titans was an awesome cartoon, with an awesome theme song(that even got the performers Puffy Ami Yumi their own show on Cartoon Network for a while), Young heroes, saving the world, fighting Slade(Because SOMEBODY is too scared to say DEATH STROKE, yup that is his villain name, Slade Wilson is his REAL NAME. and yes Deadpool is a Ripoff of him) got boiled down to the in between missions crap. Yes in the first show SOMETIMES they went out for pizza or fun, but they ACTUALLY Fought bad guys, saved the world. Did Beast Boy and Cyborg invent STANKBALL? Yes. Does Starfire have a weird love for small furry things? yes, is Raven an Angsty mess who SOMEHOW falls for beast boy? Yes.



But they are ALL Viable and Respected heroes, so who keeps SUPPORTING THIS SHOW? And it is getting a FULL LENGTH ANIMATED MOVIE, who slipped me crazy pills? The original didn't even get that. I swear DC is punking us because we didn't support Tragic Lea... Justice League more. Like Teen Titans GO! was what you heard before an awesome and EDGY cartoon played. NOW hey lets Watch beast boy get out of taking a shower, or lets see Robin be unable to handle salt on his BOILED POTATOES.



Christopher Robin



In the vein of Hook, we get a story about our friends from the Hundred Acre wood AFTER Christopher Robin has grown up and had a family. It's life action and so far the ONLY stuffed animal we have seen is Pooh. This MIGHT be funny in an abstract sort of way. We got to see Peter Pan all grown up, why can't we see Chris Robin navigate the world with his own family?



Mary Poppins Returns



Now THIS ONE is probably a harder sell. it's been 54 YEARS, the original is older than me. I know we got to see Saving Mr. Banks in 2013, and honestly it was an interesting bit of taffy making, but seriously Redo the movie if you want to let Emily Blunt play Mary Poppins(NEVER just Mary). I mean it, seeing what went into making one of Disney's MOST magical films was great but NO, JUST NO. Unless you are redoing Mary Poppins if Mary Poppins is going to return I better see a WIG on Julie Andrews Spritely head and her flying down out of the sky. I am not denying that is asking a lot of the dear Dame(official title I am not being a cheeky) I am just saying that ISN'T a return, recast it. Remake it, and THEN let her return. Julie Andrews has been making us smile  FO EV AH, if she was going to return she could have done it at ANY POINT in the last 54 years. Who didn't want to see her as Mary Poppins again? What movie that she has been in did people not love(if not the whole movie, at LEAST her).



"Mary Poppins" is back, to visit the children and help them along, AGAIN. I think they are grown it is just a teaser, but unlike Mary Poppins it ISN'T perfect in every way. As I mentioned I think the children are GROWN so maybe 10 or 15 years AFTER the original Mary Poppins in story time instead of 54 years as it is in real life. I think they even recast Dick Van Dyke's character(which if you gone do all that REMAKE THE FIRST ONE). I could be being hard on this movie(I'm not, lazy, just plain lazy), but I think the FEAR THEY HAD at the backlash of remaking one of the WORLD'S CHILDHOOD FAVORITE MOVIES was why they just skipped to a sequel with NOBODY we know from the original story in it(I mean I will check the cast list later MAYBE they are playing Grandpa or something.



I'm guessing because "A Wrinkle in Time "was seen as a KIDS MOVIE is why I was getting all of these safe trailers as well as DISNEY themed trailers, that's fine. I enjoyed the less dark fare. As I mention earlier I was surprised it got a live action movie. Every once in a while though it is nice to take in a different style of movie that is just out to have fun and wrap everything up with an inspiring bow at the end, instead of an earth shattering gut bunch(You KNOW who you are....)

Trailers for Pacific Rim 2: Uprising



I'm sure we all remember Pacific Rim, well this is the Sequel where John Boyega plays Pentecosts son(biological not adopted) and is fighting the Kaiju who have once again resurfaced to try and take over the world. He is a bit reckless and appears to HATE the rules, but hey what is a hero if he ain thumbing his nose at the folks doing it by the book and failing miserably?



Unbroken: Path to Redemption



This is the continuation of the Louis Zamperini story. He was an Olympic and Collegiate Athlete, who set the collegiate record for a mile at 4.08. He was a Bomber Pilot in WWII who ship crashed at sea and he was left adrift for 46 days before reaching and then being captured on the 47 day. later in life he became an Evangelical Christian, who often preached of forgiveness. This takes you through THAT journey. How he healed once he got home from the Japanese POW camps and then overcame the effects of the years of torture.



Action Point



This is a journey into STUPID. It's a Johnny Knoxville movie about him waxing poetic about an Amusement park he used to run before some competition came in. I'm not saying that he is taking a shot a 6 flags, but the competitions name IS 7 stars. In True Knoxville crew fashion his old Amusement park was NOT SAFE, UP TO CODE, or even REMOTELY SENSIBLE. Lots of Beer, Bad Decisions, and Laughing at the Pain of others. Basically JackA$$ but as a faux memoir to a bye gone age when there were no regulations and people SUPPOSEDLY would be willing to risk death for free Beer.



Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom



I think this is about the time the "Sitting in a Bar" trailer came out. Basically Chris Pratt's character and his ex are sitting in a bar as she tries to convince him to help them save Blue. The island is about to explode, the dinos are about to die, help us save Ultimate Predators that were only killed by nature and have them around us. I didn't realize that Jurassic World was aiming to be Live Action Flintstones buuuut if I have to chose between US and the Dinosaurs, bye bye T-Rex. I do love seeing the Giant Proto Gator swimming behind folks in that wave, it just screams "Did we really think this through?" the answer is no, no, HEEEYAAAAALL no.



Skyscraper



Dwayne Johnson plays a former FBI agent who was injured in the line of duty and is now a Security Consultant. While assessing what is presumably the "Tallest Building in the World" All hell breaks lose. Some bad guys sneak into the building, attempt to take it over and in the process take his family hostage. So The Rock has to hobble his behind around the building kicking butt, taking names, and making Death Defying JUMPS, while overcoming his injury. At first I thought this was some kind of Die Hard remake(hell it still might be, just changed the name to Skyscraper) but with less wisecracking(which, the Rock could handle Wise cracking come on), Less duct crawling, cause DJ is NOT fitting in an AC duct, nah if you have a duct that big YOU WANT some Super Hero to come through and kick your behind. Looks interesting, might even be a fun ride I'll wait for more trailers though.



Okay That's the last of the first set I am going to do so this becomes Master Post Pt. 1 and will be adjusted accordingly.

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