As this has already been covered yup I'm: black, male, straight, a booty enthusiast, married but separated(for now), opinionated, nice(or so I have been told), a gentleman(or so I hope I have shown), and somewhat of an geek/gamer. Has that been recovered? We all got it? So we ain gonna have to keep coming back to this in the post as I say what I got to say? Yall sure? Sure you Sure, aiight I'm saying check the top will be a valid remark then for the rest of the post, cool COOOOL.
My own personal being aside the main picture most people get of a black male is devious, unintelligent, misogynistic, unfaithful, neanderthal who is as apt to run to a white woman as he is to abuse his beautiful black sisters like it was second nature. Black men are flashy, dead beat dads, who don't want to earn an honest living and save the black man in the white house aren't really big on education. My problem is simple some of these things are true, not just true but for some of these I may be making huge understatements. Now yes I know I am an exception and I know many other exceptions, but no matter how many of us exceptions there are there are way more of the stereotype. And let's be real while I remember someone complaining that I used whites as an example first off this is American and I guaran damn tee you if I held up a picture of what someone thinks is an american I could get 7-8 out of 10 on it being the white face in the group. Second off to complain about me using another group is not DISPROVING what I am saying about that other group. I know the tactic of change the subject, I just don't fall for it. Now I know to be honest if I bring up Italians somebody could just make the honest and obvious observation that well technically they aren't Anglo Saxon and protestant, and I couldn't deny that valid point. Shoot they could disown the Irish too, because basically yeah as far as history is concerned both of those groups of people were only good for boosting caucasian overall numbers but they couldn't date your daughter. And while things change a little bit look at italian and irish stereotypes in movies, either drunks, gangsters or criminal types.
Now even if you tried that I could point to the french, english and germans (WOW really spell check the french can be small letters but those germans and english folks better get they caps, thats just sad really are we gonna do for the freedom fries thing too?) the french with how they did poor Jeanne De aarc, the english with henry and his wives(as well as salem but you know that would be more english descendants but I slightly digress) and the germans with their porn, what come on this is me I can't slip a joke in there(plus how could you NOT see that coming Germans have some of the wildest porn around, *cough cough* not that I have of course watched a lot of german porn that would be deviant behavior and if we know anything about me *rumble rumble* moving right along). No group is without deviant behavior and while you know I could use that as a defense I'm not I mean yes as I am milk chocolate not blue black I have somebody else running through these veins except the folks who could tell me who "massa robinson" was either died or I have yet to meet(I have a large family what can I say).
Back to the subject:in talking with many of the lovely females I have met in the cyber world I have found that many have in some way shape or form been molested in their lives. And as much as, just like when you hear about a stupid robbery you secretly hope {please don't be a black person} *bbm angel face*, I hope it wasn't a black person who perpetrated the crime yup it's either a black male or female. It kinda crushes a part of my heart because its like "damn how can you hurt someone who looks like you, how can you hurt family", and yes many of them have horror stories in their own past thus just continuing the cycle. And it burns me up because no matter what, exactly how do you take that pain away from someone? How do you tell them they should be comfortable when a face that looks similar to the one they see in the mirror or else similar to mine not only took their innocence from them, but may have made it a ritual of possession, did it to punish some weakness in themselves by showing this poor innocent child exactly who owned their world.
I mean yeah I understand the don't talk to strangers rule I do,. I was a kid once. But the only way say I can redeem the image of black men going forward is to what, why be the nice stranger you meet, be helpful, be kind, be chivalrous(even though chivalry is not only unappreciated but sometimes spit upon), be the anti stereotype. Yet the first thing I am going to hear when it comes to a conversation:ALL MEN ARE. Damn, really so why not when I was holding that door stop yourself and say, look I don't trust you please let the door go. Yes I'd be hurt because you know I did you no harm, but at least I could respect that up front you displayed your distrust of me. I'd wish you a good day, and safe travels and move on. But if you accepted the kind gesture, as well as some help and then STILL went in on all men, yo damn could you take the knife out quickly, it hurts. Because the thing is the ONLY way to reverse the negative male stereotype is to one person at a time show what a decent black man COULD be. Oh don't get me wrong I HOPE I'm a good man but I do not walking around beating my chest with that title. I think being a good man is a life long aspiration you have to keep working at it, you have to punch that clock even on days when you are sick, beat down, worn out and drug under. Because in my mind a good man would do that, even at his worst he would refuse to give in and continue to stand up for that which he believes in.
Because it is an ideal worth fighting for, I have my flaws, many flaws whew I'm sure if you ask a few folks the list would almost be as long as most of my blogs lined up word to word back to back single spaced. Flaws are not an excuse, I can get heated in discussions on the subject of the lousy treatment of black women by black men. Extremely heated mainly because I believe the woman devalue themselves by looking at how the guy treated them to base who they are on. Pffft some dudes are just out to use, they could care less if you were a 30 kt diamond or a piece of gravel all they wanted was the skins, possibly some ends, a place to rest they head then it's on to the next shawty rinse and repeat. It's abhorrent, I could sit here and DENY that men act like this but it's untrue, I could try the other method which is to claim well they only do this to the EASY girls, thats an even bigger lie.
Now while an unpopular sentiment there is one truth they do it because they are allowed to do it, call it vanity on the part of the women who continue to allow them to share their beds, or good game but these dudes are only out here doing what they do because they find women who at least for a short time will put up with it. If a man cheats more than once and you let him back in your door he will continue to cheat(same as a woman but I don't have a vagina so ain going into that too much further), hell if you were the mistress while he was in a previous relationship you just fully condoned cheating. It's okay if you wanna rent that good ding a ling(wow yup just slid that in)(oops damn and a penis pun man this is hard *doh*) you know the "hey baby you ain getting enough at home, or you just want something new every once in a while" relationship some women get into. Call it friends with benefits, cut buddies, whatever as long as you stay (you know what all you down low brothers I hate yall for stealing the term down low why ain yall just accept being openly bi BAAASTIDS) hush hush with it and don't try to take it to another level everybody will be okay. But the second you start catching some feelings for this dude start saying to yourself "mmmm see he doing her like that but me, nah I know how to keep my man at home".
Now let me make this clear I will not deny that SOME women have a better skill set than others when it comes to doing what they do. And I don't mean current or former porn stars cause um I look at some of them and I go, meh nah I wouldn't even be enjoying that. I mean some porn stars just like regular, average every day women, don't go past that inch behind the tip either I believe @lethallippsxxx said it best "how you gonna talk about how good you give head when ya got all this hand motion" now no you don't have to be the deep throat diva up there but if you got a dude with double digits and you fitting both hands over it and you go to a guy in the singles and still are getting both hands over the shaft yeah you ain doing nothing. No offense yes the head needs love too but it's also about the Balls and Shaft(yes that was a PCU reference the movie is awesome and if you haven't see it #killyoself okay a little harsh don't kill yaself but go buy it at Walmart or best buy). So POSSIBLY you are doing it better than the last girl, don't mean he'll stay any more for you than he did for her. Sometimes it ain about sex its about the fact that ain no consequences for stepping out.
And ladies PLEASE do not pull the "he cheated so I will cheat" game, one you will feel guilty and two the one dude or two dudes you do as revenge will be used forever to excuse the 1 or 2 girls you catch him with out of the 10+ side chicks he has infinitum. If he was worried about your fidelity he would be making sure no man could EVER take his place, it wouldn't just be about the bed room, dude would make sure he was ya partner in the house work, ya partner in the finances, in the planning for your future. Next dude would have to put in so much work just to earn the right to touch ya mans dirty draws that he would probably just be like nah shawty bruh handlin his.
Cheaters rules are not the same as regular peoples rules. George Carling used to tell a joke about a guy driving his friend in a car(gonna screw it up sorry george)"guy and a friend are driving down the street and the light turns red, guy runs the red light. His friend is like um man that light was red, yes it's okay my brother runs red lights around here all the time. So they continue down the street and come to another red light, same exchange yeah it's okay my brother runs red lights around here all the time. so after about 3 more intersections they come to a green light and the guy slams on his breaks. His passenger after pulling his balls out of his mouth asks:why did you stop? My BROTHER MAY BE COMING" I say that to say, if somebody is breaking the rules while no they usually don't want you to also be allowed to get away with it. They also usually have a mindset of "if you ain cheating you ain trying", the problem they have with you isn't that you cheated, but that you were dumb enough to get caught.
Now this is Domestic violence month and as I have never been the type to make it a HABIT of hitting women, I will defend myself if no other outlet is left. My dear I may love you as a women and feel you need to be protected but if you decide that you have the right to be a threat to my life MY life trumps your overblown sense of your fighting skills. If your right good, if you ain hey like any other test you can pass it, you can squeak by on it or you can fail miserably. Now look I got the don't hit a woman speech, I got it many times, Dad was ADAMANT about not hitting women. In this day and age 1 dad ain always there, and 2 some folks mommas are just as #ratchet(yeah yeah I am using hash tags if your on twitter you can look them up if you wish) now as there were when they were your age, and just like you feel you should be that bad motor scooter(NAILED IT) and should show dudes who's boss and who ain gonna take no mess. Well just like you she loves her baby, and just like you she feels her baby shouldn't take no mess, so most likely just like you she told her baby "a chicken head steps up and thinks she a man, knock her on her tail and let her find some balls." so just because a guy SHOULDN'T hit you don't get it twisted in your head that some REAL MAMA who was kickin rocks on that block before you was even born ain decide her baby ain have to take it. Cause if you lose guess what we ain built the same, even the most BUILT female I'm talking ripped out the wazoo ain as big as the biggest man. So sometimes walk away and just say enough is enough if you really think you're too good for somebody roll off and show them.
Now that is a sad state right there, I personally don't think a man should hit a woman, in my younger days when I was bouncing if you did something and your lady hauled off and nailed you one, she got the free shot and you got the eyes of death. You was stupid, you got caught, let her go, move on with ya life and don't retaliate. Yeah you MIGHT wanna get her back, and maybe you could show her a thing or two, but to get to her in MY EYESIGHT you were gonna have to go through me. And while people who get to know me may swear I'm the sweetest guy, and wouldn't hurt a fly, lets just say there are some flies that would beg to differ with them. Being nice is a choice, a choice aimed and trying to make a positive change in the world, but to make a change you have to be strong, you have to be willing to withstand the test if that test is given. And you must ALWAYS be ready, folks ain gonna hit you when your ready for them to hit you, hell then it ain that they hit you its that you wanted to be hit. If you see somebody standing and waiting for you, and you walk into the situation unprepared and you get your head knocked off, well thats on you. They shouldn't have done it, but I'm sorry if you see danger in front of you find another path period I'm just saying some things are self explanatory shouldn't even have to spend a lot of time on them. I mean we do because folks are so big on themselves that they get caught out there often, but really it's your life and the only person responsible for maintaining it til death is you.
I mentioned being loud and flashy but that I will not separate us from the pack of the rest, dude look at the country we are no worse than any other group, a lot of us were brainwashed and have the whole credit, debt and asset model TWISTED. An asset is a possession yes, but if you have an illiquid possession(say a house or a car) you ain BALLIN' a liquid possession is say MONEY, maybe a stock yes it would take you a few days to get the money from the sale but a stock could be sold and QUICKLY converted into money, car and house are usually gonna take time and preparation. If you don't mind visiting the pawn shop Jewelry can be considered a liquid asset. But looking around I don't care what color you are or what social status you thought you belonged to peoples realities ain safe right now. So yeah maybe black folks need to learn about assets, but so do the rest of our fellow americans that class will be full and look like the melting pot we are supposed to be, with chairs all out in the hallway trying to make sure they don't miss a syllable.
Again I understand there are MANY examples of the black male stereotype yes some dudes are out there being exactly who you think they are. But as silly as it sounds, if you don't have hope of meeting a decent guy like me, one who will hold the door, help you with a bag(yes I may stare at your behind I'm male doesn't mean I'm going to beg you for your number, or expect sexual favors I can appreciate that you look good, did whatever you had to do to get where you are physically, and are happy or ok with it), or just do some other HUMAN stuff. As vain as it may sound please give the memory of an experience like that a little more weight. Remember the more people scared of the "deadly black monster" the more often it's okay for cops to fire shots at people who look like your fathers, brothers, husbands and sons. If your father didn't molest you why would you want to perpetrate an image of a monster that looks even remotely like him. So that when somebody says I feared for my life, all those in attendance can knowingly nod their heads because hey, even their woman say they are savage animals.
We need to do better, but the incentive to do better won't be there if "we're gonna be treated like animals anyway" as you know when people have a ready made excuse, they are definitely gonna use it
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