Friday, August 4, 2017

Get out the DAMN CAR!

The scene: A warm August day, sun is shining folks are going about there business. A young lady in a yellow shirt is about to enter the store,
"Shawty, hey you there damn you look good with your pretty chocolate skin. I don't mean no harm I mean do you got a man or something, can I get your number"
The "suitor" is a guy in a Bright Red(but clean) Dodge Nitro(no I'm not a car guy but I remember when Dodge introduced that boxy thing. While he did get her attention he didn't get a phone number, she turned around shook her head and went in the store. He continued to yell compliments about her as he pulled into a parking space, along with the words "hey, it might have worked." There are MANY things that can be said about the BEGINNING of interaction between the young lady and captain Nitro but "it would have worked ain one of them. I don't know, I think that if you are trying to make a POSITIVE first impression you have to put some effort into it. Yes Maybe he felt like today was his day, he was feeling himself he felt like he was in his groove, who knows WHY he thought he should attempt to get this young ladies attention today, but especially in that manner. Let's us look at his approach in further detail shall we

Call me old, not old fashioned BUT if I plan to interact with somebody unless it's to catch their attention because they dropped something, left something open, or POSSIBLY they were about to hit me or my vehicle yelling at them from EITHER seat of the car is not acceptable.

  1. If you dropped something, I don't want to get to know you I am just trying to be helpful.
  2. If you left you gas tank, car door, or maybe window open, again being helpful don't want you to get robbed.
  3. You are about to damage my property: Self Explanatory.
  4. I know you and want you attention, I will yell but THEN get out the car
I say either because well unless you have been in a cave Kimmy Schmidt you have heard of TLC and one of their more fun hits "No Scrubs" and their complaint was yelling from the PASSENGER side, but honestly their are only three times most people will talk to someone from their car window:
  1. You are at some sort of Drive Thru/Transaction window
  2. You are being stopped by an authority figure discussing your driving/parking
  3. You are attempting to buy time from an escort/friend for the night/Lay for Pay/Person of the night
Also YELLING at the top of your lungs drawing way too much attention to yourself is clown behavior which in this case also reduced his chances of getting the number(but that is jumping ahead in the story), as she already had the door open and was walking in to the store. Personally if he would have stopped his car and walked up to her, hell got the extra two points by holding the door for her I personally think he would have looked like more than just some immature playboy trying to add a notch on his belt(even if he had grander intentions than that). Like is she supposed to yell back? Do you expect her to walk up to your car(see point 3 above)? Are you hoping this is the HIGH POINT of her day, "OMG this dude in a car YELLED at me, woohoo I am looking fine today!" *Imaginary Toyota Jump* I mean MAYBE it could have made her day but 90% of the time IF she even heard you correctly you said like a garden variety street harasser IJS, you do.

He also had a passenger in the car, at first I couldn't tell if it was male or female and I was CLOSER than she was, so you look crazy and TACKY who in the car with you. Are you hollering at the next chick with the soon to be ex chick in the car? Ballsy but not brainy, plus it looks like you're "Showing Out for Company" which rarely works out. Now you may be wondering HOW I had time to see all this, I was tying two ladders to the top of my truck, a coincidentally Red but not clean Isuzu Rodeo(with no A.C. not important to the story but ya know. Now the passenger gets out of the nitro as I get done tying the ladders down and I sit in my car getting ready to get instructions as to my next location. He goes in side(I can see it's a younger dude now), Nitro backs up to a pump, and a few short minutes later the young chocolate lady in the yellow shirt comes out talking to a slightly older looking gentleman(he had that NEW Shaft goatee but it was heavily salt and peppered)also in a yellow shirt, they have some light conversation, appear to know each other aaaaaaaaand

YUP here comes Captain Nitro again. Yelling basically trying to get her attention, and as he realizes that Yellow shirt Shaft and the young lady appear to know each other he of course yells out, "Oh is that you?" to which Shaft Answers "I'm trying to be." young lady drives off, Shaft drives up next to Nitro they have a MUCH quieter conversation, I get my destination, so I leave, and HOPEFULLY Shaft gave the LOUD brother some pointers, caaaaaause DAMN you looked Tacky. So now you see yup, YELLING at the top of your lungs, while the door is open, to a woman, POSSIBLY going in to see her potential Bae is NOT going to win you any digits. Cause now she MIGHT look suspect, "Like damn, how I screw this up already? Am I on the way out?" She held her own door walking in, though they did not arrive together in the same car so they could have been meeting each other there, but I do think I saw the loud yellow shirt within Ear Shot of it as she was walking in. Then again, she probably didn't appreciate being yelled at like it was study hall/the pep rally any damn way.

Me, if you want to meet someone doesn't matter the venue walk up to them, attempt to strike up an ACTUAL conversation, no you don't have to discuss politics or the stock market but at least break the ice and get the basics out the way: A simple greeting, possibly a name exchange, see if they are interested, if they are try to get the number, if they aren't "have a nice day". That's it, plus for all she know she was about to get "Car Fished" you know have a short dude looking tall because he was driving a big vehicle. Cause I didn't actually see his head over the top of the car when he got out for a minute, I thought he was possibly going to go inside and try to rectify his HORRENDOUS first impression NOPE, uh uh he just compounded it later. We also have the foolish gesture of YELLING towards the competition like somehow you being the Carnival Barker compared to the guy who held the door for her on the way out, probably made plans for later that evening, and possibly bought her lunch makes you look like a decent competitor in said courtship ritual(it doesn't, nope, not even remotely). I know proper social etiquette has taken a hit in the social media age but come on, somewhere in your brain there has to be a red flag at "stereotypical Construction Worker" behavior. Now no, he never yelled out his admiration for her butt or breasts, just her skin tone. While he may have wanted to give her "The D" later, he did not offer it to her in EITHER conversations at the top of his lungs, but he was still talking at the top of his lungs. But unsolicited yelling is still unsolicited yelling, I could be wrong.

Hey Look, a COMMENTS section, why possibly some of you folks reading could inform me of whether or not I am just behind the times and this is how Casanova actually woos the ladies now.

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