Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Primal's "L.A.H" Movie Trailers: Spider-man Homecoming

You had to know I was going to see this one, Spider-man is one of my ALL TIME favorite comic book and cartoon characters, I have DECADES of fandom in the webhead. So of course I went, Opening Night too(that was Eikichi's doing) and we all had a blast, Smooth didn't make it(or am I calling him MonkeyHand today since he didn't show up hmm) I know I have heard SOME people trying to call the Web Heads Marvel entry a flop it's been a month and has made over 294 million it still has some legs so 300 million is well within his grasp over 600 million world wide, it has also made more than each of the PREVIOUS Spider-man reboots(The Amazing Series) unadjusted for inflation of course, I think tickets were a dollar or two cheaper back then. So I am wondering if that was just wishful thinking, or were they trying to sell the super hero fatigue narrative and spoke too soon hmmm.

Anyway this isn't the Spider-man review this is the trailer review. Unlike the PREVIOUS Entry only one of these movies has come out(Dark Tower) and I will check it's opening weekend shortly. But enough with the stalling

The Trailers for Web Head
Justice League

I am going to TRY and not hate on this trailer, it looks good except for ONE small thing. There is a newspaper that says "A world without Hope" anybody who saw hope in batman v superman, was reading an X-men comic at the time probably A v X, *cough*. I mean the action pieces look nice, but will it have more of a story like Wonder Woman(review pending STILL) or will it be a bunch of cool actions scenes cobbled around some word salad that leaves everybody with a bitter taste in their mouths.

Superman is dead, Batman is trying to assemble whatever heroes are left on Earth to fight an evil from an unknown place. He must gather the Aquaman, the Cyborg, and a Speedster to help him fight alongside the Amazon. The age of Heroes is coming again and then there is some OTHER guy that they tease at the end of the trailer having a conversation with Alfred. I also like that the villain Steppenwolf can be heard saying "You have no Lanterns, No Kryptonian" as if something has happened to the Green Lantern core, or at least some lantern core that may or may not be green but that would hopefully fend him off. So they have addressed that Lanterns exist in this universe even if the last foray they took into lantern land didn't work out too well. I want this movie to do well, because it will push Marvel to do better. Hell I think now they will really bring it with Captain Marvel because Wonder Woman was so AWESOME.

Black Panther

This is always going to be SLIGHTLY bitter irony, if Sony hadn't screwed the pooch with Amazing Spider-man 2 a terribly rushed attempt at universe building that saw them fire Marc Webb and I believe hire regniS nayrB(Yes I just did that, I don't care you know I am right) to mash a bunch of well known Spider-man villains(Electro and Rhino), a would be the worst if it wasn't for BvS Lex Luthor(Harry was the first HOB Goblin not Green Goblin damn you Nyarb), and killing Gwen Stacy WAAAY too damn soon this was SUPPOSED To be Black Panthers Premier date not Trailer Premier. Of course Marvel had Spider-man back, the guy who saved the company ORIGINALLY how do you not bring him out first, which I think is a good think it allowed you to cast the right people AND get the best director for it.

Wakanda, the unconquered. No seriously, nobody has ever set foot on Wakanda soil and lived OR won, and it is RULED by a king and protected by a warrior, the Black Panther. First don't come for me, I know in the comics it is ruled by the Panther God ie The Black Panther, the king and the warrior are one in the same but that ain how they doing it in this universe. Oh and yeah yeah nobody did until Ulysses Klaw, that guy who Ultron Chopped the arm off of came in and ran off with a huge tanker full of Vibranium. Wakanda is the most technologically advanced nation on planet Earth and we are about to see exactly how advanced. I am still holding out hope that there is a scene where YOUNG T'Chaka in WWII kicks Captain America's keister because seeing two of the greatest Martial Artists on planet Earth go at it would rock. I may though just have to settle for the Two Anger Gods going at it in November(yes I mean Thor and Hulk, tell Hulk he ain a God I dare you), as the trailer soundtrack says "Step into the Spotlight".

The Dark Tower

There is another world out there, actually there are many worlds and all worlds are connected by the Dark Tower.  The Dark Tower shields us from the darkness right outside the universe and it is always dieing to come in. The man in Black has been fighting for millennia to make that happen, and the only ones to oppose him, are the Gunslingers or should I say WERE the gunslingers. It was their last stand against the Man in Black and they lost, their ranks and numbers decimated, all but one. The best of them, but that devil the man in black may have finally broken him in that last assault. The Tower may fall because it's protector has abandoned his duty for a single solitary quest, unfortunately the world has thrown an annoying boy into his lap.

I have actually seen the Dark tower, the movie is good granted it's three reviews, wait FOUR reviews back. I never did read the books so I came into the movie fresh it was very well done, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Review will come if I can get through the rest of them.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle

Breakfast club meets beloved movie starring the late Robin Williams and we get THIS. Now, I do like Kevin Hart, I am a HUGE fan of Dwayne Johnson, and IT'S a POND, plus you know Jack Black is in it thing is, did anybody really want this movie? I mean yes we HAD wanted a Jumanji sequel but I don't know if this is the sequel we had been looking for. Jumanji is now a video game, the kids get sucked into it and they have to play as their avatars and POSSIBLY as a homage to the gamer we all hate the kids don't care which character they choose and all hell breaks loose. Especially when the "hottie" messes around and picks the Avatar of the "Over Weight Middle aged MAN!!!!!!"

If you are looking for Shakespeare in the park, skip this movie. It is most likely supposed to be gut busting comedy mixed with outrageous action, some might like it but even with all that star power with how beloved the original Jumanji is(hell MOST Robin Williams movies) I really don't know if anybody will go to see it since our favorite Mime isn't in it, or is it Visitor from Ork, Genie, Toy Maker, Presidential Statue... yeah I could do this all day and it's often hard to over come when everyone is looking for the guy who just can't show up.

anyway those were my 4 trailers for Spider-man, I loved Tom Hollands time in the Spandex I hope he gets(and should since again stones throw from 300 million) another spin of the web, it's gonna be nice to see him grow into being Spider-man, even if he doesn't do anymore growing.

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