Monday, January 23, 2017

Trailers for Underworld: Blood Wars

Welp I made it to the movies on time, huzzah as such my movie was of course underworld review to come in 2 days. I got 5 trailers with Blood Wars a decent smattering of genre's and I also got to see that SOMEBODY forgot when springtime started because Sleepless is out in theaters now but the trailers all said spring(unless somehow someway the MIDDLE of January became Springtime).

As for this set of trailers 3 could count as sci fi, one counts as a Video Game movie, 2 count as monster movies, 3 can count as Horror movies, and 2 are newbies I never heard of before with interesting looking casts. I know some of yall are doing the math saying, "he said 5 trailers, how he get so many of each type?" Mainly because a lot of these movies are cross genre and as such you could go see them as a few different types of fan. But without further adieu the first trailer after the jump

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

This movie looks interesting but MAN does it have a lot of weight on it's shoulders. From the director of "The Fifth Element" and "Lucy" bruh, you might have wanted to put that on the trailer that pops up AFTER it is out, now if this one ain as popping as the trailer suggest it is going to get buried. I will say this you CAN tell it's POSSIBLY connected to "the fifth element" a lot of the creatures remind you of FE's style. Also the world seems extremely squashed together like FE's earth as if folks never stopped building on top of anything around them, ground? Who needs ground build into the upper atmosphere.

I know the male lead because he played Harry Osbourne in "Amazing Spider-man 2" the female lead not so much, it looks interesting. Supposedly it's based on a graphic novel, I can see some classic sci fi blockbuster tropes in it, and lots of cool looking tech. I can't really mention many other human actors because they focused a lot on the aliens and robots in this one. Looks like Harry is the hero in this one: A Universe without boundaries needs a Hero without limits. Hey, he's got a cool tag line my interest is definitely piqued. Cool tech, a space battle or two, lots of platforming, a possible unrequited romance, buddy movie elements, lots of fighting(or at least lots of fighting in this trailer), I don't know Valerian is but looks like he is about to face a whole heap of trouble.


Seriously, another one? I understand that "Ringu" was hot in Japan/Asia but I thought the first two movies barely made a blip. I mean the first one was okay, got a little bit of buzz but I thought the next two bombed. Anyway

There is a movie, a movie about a girl in a well and if you see it, you will die in 7 days. Now I could have sworn in ONE of the movies, if you got somebody else to watch the movie after you then instead of YOU dieing in 7 days they did. Which yeah yeah, whatever, you tricked some poor schlep into taking on your curse. I think I watched the first one til the end way back when, Also I think they took the premise for Ringu 2 and made a different movie staring Sarah Michelle Gellar ah yes, The Grudge(I looked it up, what). If you are a fan of horror this MIGHT be up your alley it's getting like the "Final Destination" movies to me, how you on like 6 now. Why ain you just put the person death is pissed at on a pike and say, "hey death, here you go so you can stop going ape on everybody this the one your looking for!" I guess she is on the internet now, which MAKES NO SENSE, the TAPE is supposed to be cursed, her soul trapped in the image. Now yes I think in the sequel somebody made a few copies of it but dang really just randomly out on the internet?

Kong: Skull Island

Seriously, it has to be the dumbest line ever but still, "Is that a monkey?" Ahem, if you flying in a helicopter and ANYTHING large enough to be seen above the treetops is looking at you ABORT ABORT, jump out whatever you are flying in and abort. Godzilla I can mildly understand he kind of kept to himself and ain really mess with you, but this one you go looking for the big angry possibly Silverback Gorilla. Honestly I like John Goodman, but he lucky Sam Jack was in a good mood you'd have got two clips from me, "Sir we really don't have ammo to waste" Nah, that wasn't a waste THAT was Justice. I might die but I decided when and where you left this mortal coil.

A team of soldiers and a few scientists go to map a mysteriously island, an island where supposedly myth and reality meet. Unbeknownst to the soldiers and SOME of the scientists ain no myths here somebody knows who lives there and they are just trying to see if they can cause a ruckus. Now as the resident God, King Kong is not to happy about them dropping bombs on his island. This is, Kong isn't the only thing on the island nor do we know if he is the worst thing(well the worst thing if you don't piss off Kong). I can't remember the last King Kong movie I went to see, and I'll probably wait for this one to come out on cable, I was always more of a Godzilla fan.


A bunch of astronauts on the international space station are on a normal tour. When after catching a satellite the discover a new life form, unfortunately the life form doesn't seem to be as friendly as they had hoped. An all star cast has to survive while stuck miles above the earth as well as figure out what it is and why it is trying to kill them all. Also they probably have to keep from bringing it down to earth.

This movie is sort of in the vein of like Aliens, or The goop, or the blob, yadda yadda new life discovered, looks innocent, nope we were wrong RUUUUN AAAAAAARGH. it's a horror movie but with that cast there will probably be a few funny moments.

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter

It's finally here, the end for everyone who has ever been touched by the tragedy that started in Raccoon city. They have given Alice powers, taken them away and given them back. They have made her kill her lover from the first movie. They have mind controlled her friends, and have basically had her on the run forever and a day. I know I never count this as a full video game movie, mainly because Resident Evil was basically a zombie movie turned into a video game. So it's a well worn genre, that it would be hard to screw up but it is amongst the best video game to movie conversions ever. And they are sending Alice out in style as Paradise city blares in the background.

The Red Queen has contacted Alice, supposedly Umbrella corp has an airborne antidote for the T virus, unfortunately is is located in the remains of their headquarters in Raccoon City deep underground. So Alice and her team have to return to where it all started, through hordes of zombies and T-virus monsters, just to find a way to get an antidote that they aren't even sure exists. The red queen is their original adversary, she's the one who has been trying to kill Alice the longest and the irony of the Red Queen constantly trying to kill Alice in this nightmarish wonderland is not lost at all. It all ends here, either the zombies are destroyed or humanity is. Oh won't you please take me home

Okay, those were my five trailers as I said lots of cross genre stuff a few look interesting some I may check out and one is a SUPPOSEDLY definitive end to a beloved series. one never knows though plenty of movies do a pt.2

No comments:

Post a Comment

Disqus for Primal's Ponderings


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Total Pageviews