Monday, February 6, 2017

Superbowl 51 movie trailers

Since I personally feel I shorted you by not giving you all the trailers for Resident Evil the final chapter(plus the trailers I did have save one I have already discussed) I have decided to look up all the Superbowl movie trailers and talk about them. I don't know what I am going to find, I don't know if they were all awesome but I do know there seems to have been a lot of them.

Yes this will follow my normal format of "Title of the movie linked to the trailer, followed by a short bit of personal commentary" so, you ready? Let's get this popping:

Transformers: The Last Knight

I don't know what it is with Micheal Bay and killing off everybody's favorite Transformers but it seems like he is at it again, and this time it looks like the world's favorite VW bug turned Camaro is in his sights. We may finally get the answer to why Transformers keep coming to planet Earth, unfortunately it seems our favorite human saving Autobot has decided he ain for us fleshlings no more. That's right ladies and gentleman Optimus Prime appears to be in league with the Big Bad this movie, that is if he ISN'T the actual big bad. Something is talking to him about redemption so I think he is being mind controlled doesn't matter though if he is roasting his fellow autobots on a spit. Optimus you better than this Bro, I know Micheal Bay is telling you that you have to do it but nah dog don't go out like this.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Drax, Star Lord(man), Gamora, Rocket, and baby Groot are back to save the galaxy one more time, and possibly figure out why it is that Star Lord was able to hold an Infinity stone without dieing. Our Rag tag bunch seems to be running around fighting more bad guys, most likely bumping into Thanos, and trying to turn Nebula into a good guy, maybe. They are also adding Yondu and somebody named Mantis to the crew, your favorite bunch of A holes all up in the mix again, with more old 70's music.

Logan(Wolverine 3)

It has been a long, long time, especially for James Howlett III. Who is that, oh just your friendly neighborhood canuckle head who doesn't remember his name, isn't too sure about which past he is a part of and has buried way too many friends. Logan is tired, his claws don't pop like that used to, his healing factor isn't keeping him in top shape like it used to, and most of his friends are dead. He still has his old buddy Charles but both of them have seen better days, and then SHE walks in. Laura, a mysterious girl who is looking for Logan and appears to know another history that he wasn't a part of. Stories told to children to make them smile, not exactly to the letter, some of them possibly close, but he isn't that guy anymore.

Or is he, He has secrets, Laura has secrets and there might just be a little hero and berserker left in old Jimbo.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead men Tell no Tales

Seriously, is there any meat left on that horse. It died before they release On Stranger Tides, but somehow Jack Sparrow has pissed off somebody else and now the Dead are searching for him AGAIN. Seriously, Curse of the black pearl it was undead Barbossa and crew, Dead man's Chest it was Davey Jones and his undead army, Worlds end he vanquished Davey, freed Calypso and got away from the British Navy. Like seriously what is next? I ask this because it seems a sixth pirates of the Caribbean is in the works, bruh Did Johnny Depp sign like a 20 picture deal and they can't think of anything else to do with him? Alright Alright on to the next one


Look, I know. Hollywood hates the 90's. Hell they hate any TV show that people want to make into a movie but seriously THIS is what you turn into Baywatch? I am sure it is supposed to be some kind of comedy. Scooby Doo in bikini's and speedos and who knows who our great dane is. I looked it up so if you want to watch it you can, oiled up bodies running in slow motion, seriously yall used to watch this crap(yes I said yall, I was never into Baywatch).

The Fate of the Furious

Leti Switched sides, and she came back, I guess it's Dom's turn. Charlize Theron's character has gotten Dominic Toreto to turn against his crew and now all hell has broken lose. It's one thing when a family has lost it's heart, but even worse when it has lost it's spine. I don't know what she has on Dom to make him turn but his family isn't going to give up on him, because the Dom they know would NEVER give up on them.

Ghost in the Shell

Here's the thing, I love this anime. And yes technically the Major could be anybody because while it is a movie set in Asia her body was synthetic and while SOME of the characters did look Asian, the Major and Batou look more western in the anime. So Scarlett Johannsen is playing the cyborg/android/AI who knows what she is super cop with the camouflage synthetic body and coming to kicks butts at a theater near you.

John Wick Chapter 2

They killed his dog, they stole his car and then he took his local Russian Mafia boss down(and his son). So now, someone else has decided to piss in John Wicks cornflakes. I guess the Baba Yaga really can't retire. So now he has a new fancy suit, a lot more guns, and is leaving a trail of dead bodies because somebody has decided that he can't have nice things. It may be a rough night for him, but it's probably the last night for you.

Fist Fight

I mean while to every high school teenager the premise of this movie sounds awesome like really two teachers fighting at 3:00 pm? Didn't we already do 3 o'clock high. Some weaselly teacher ratted on another teacher threatening a student so now he's got to take a butt whoopin. Snitches get stitches and sometimes wind up in ditches, it's bro code and he broke it. I'm not watching this movie, it is probably going to be hilariously dumb and I'm STILL not watching it, maybe on cable.

If there are anymore they haven't posted to YouTube yet(and I can only complain so much if I wanted to know all of them I COULD have watched the big game. 9 trailers mostly for comic book or pop culture fair I think 2017 will be a decent year for movies. Thanks for stopping by I hope you didn't lose the house if you bet on the Superbowl.

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