Everything wrong with "Green Lantern"

It all starts with an oath, an announcement of a calling, a drive, a determination. Their power is will, and with this they proclaim it's power, is unwavering discipline, and the brotherhood of which they have sworn their allegance.

In brightest day in blackest night No evil shall escape my sight.Let those who worship evil's might Beware my power, Green Lantern's light!!!

They are the core, the Green Lantern core warriors who defend the 3600 sectors of the known(or at least considered under the jurisdiction of The Guardians of Oa) Universe. Now the name of this blog is "everything wrong with" and it was hinted at in my "We are the Core" throwback blog that was lost to some weird technological fluke. The sad part about Green Lantern is that the movie would have been just fine if somebody didn't decide the rush in the last 30 minutes. This movie was like a tall show cake or a sugar sculpture, it took its time, it had a vision, and it was trying to come on down to the presentation.... And somebody got antsy. I will cover a lot of what was right or at least serviceable first, while I haven't seen the movie in years the problems that it had still haunt me to this day. Because I really wanted this movie to work, even though this movie was delaying my ability to get a Deadpool movie(which, have you seen it DUDE when you get it right you get it right) it had the right actor, it had the potential to open up DC's movie universe to include other characters that Superman and Batman(which is sorely needed) and it would give more people a look into a pretty cool comic book character, and then the last 30 minutes happened. So lets get on in to it
So who is Hal Jordan

Hal Jordan is a test pilot, a bit of a douche. He's charming, handsome, rugged, you know what just go look up a picture of Ryan Reynolds or Nate Fillion when he was doing Firefly. He is them, he is absolutely them, a loveable idiot, who means the best but sometimes wreaks havoc in the meantime. He has a code of ethics, he isn't exactly fearless though he may appear that way what he is is undaunted. Hal Jordan works as a Lantern because he won't give up, could he be scared sure but just because he is scared doesn't mean he is going to stop or give up. Part of him may want to stop, part of him may want to remain paralyzed whether due to fear, guilt, sorrow, or pain but both of the little beings on his shoulder say the same thing maybe next time big guy because this time XYZ is counting on us/needs us/will be lost with us.

Now depending on how old you are you may or may not have seen GL from the Perfect Paragon days of DC or the Happy go Lucky era of the Superfriends (currently having a craptastic internet day so this may take a while to finish). You will remember Hal being a pretty stand up guy, the green, black, and white suit the mask(officially called a domino mask but as kids we didn't care at all now did we), the power ring, I don't remember the oath playing a big part in the early 80's but if you read a comic you saw it. In the comics Hal was usually pretty well meaning, courageous, and used his ring to fend off the forces of evil with a determination that could probably only be matched by Batman. When looking up green lantern be careful the first actual Green Lantern was Alan Scott, his ring was powered by magic and there was a slight reboot of him on "New Earth" this GL is a member of the Justice Society and shares little in common with his Sci Fi counterpart.

The Costume

Okay, I am not really going to give them a demerit for this. I could, I know Ryan Reynolds has had a GRAND OL TIME ripping them a new one in Deadpool. Was the super suit green yes, was it animated yes, not that the animation was terrible but like the green lantern suit gets torn all the time so making it animated(I honestly think somebody started watching Bleach and wanted the awesomeness of Ichigo's costume without putting in the work) was kind of weird, especially since most super heroes the only way you know it's a tough fight is when the uni gets battle damage. It was green, it was black it had a Lantern in the middle with white trim, Hal Jordan had a Domino mask that's his outfit.

Jon Stewart: Green, black, lantern in the middle with white trim, no mask

Guy Gardner: Green Blazer(with buttons), black pants, Small Lantern badge on the breast, no mask

Kyle Rayner: formerly Green, black, lantern in the middle Oan Tech/crab face mask(I say formerly because he is a white lantern now)

Oh, I almost forgot they have white gloves too. Like I said though that is the costume, technically all other lantern costumes were animated but they were cartoons not live action. Not a big gig from me, I'm just saying it looked right.

The Back Story

I mean honestly, Abin Sur is in a tough fight, loses, crash lands on earth, the power ring selects Hal Jordan. This part is pretty much Cannon, I think they did it masterfully. Now the bit where they got Hal's villain Hector Hammond(no alias, that is his name) was a bit Hamfisted. I mean yeah yeah yeah the whole "meteorite crashed and super villain gains abilities" shtick is as bad as marvel and it's laboratory explosions(yes, look it up lots of marvel villains and a few heroes get powers due to lab explosions) but that is what happens. I mean Parallax is also a villain(and honestly should have been introduced way later) but honestly I think if they would have ended with Hammond being defeated and Parallax being the oncoming threat this movie would have destroyed the box office. Hammonds powers were correct, they were psionic in nature, and he also had the freakishly large Head, but everything else about him seemed rushed just to justify the rest of the movie.

A hero is defined by his villains, and he is one of Green Lanterns biggest villains.

Sinestro

Why does he get his own heading, color(besides the fact that you know he's a yellow lantern), and bolded. Because when you think of Green Lantern you think of the villain you have seen him battling the most, former Green Lantern Sinestro. And this is one of the biggest crimes of this movie. Sinestro getting the Yellow Power Ring of fear was thrown in as an after credits scene. It really had no weight at all, I mean wow he just put the ring on and walked away.

NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Seriously, this is Hal Jordan's most recognizable villain. As a matter of fact while he has a bunch of others when you think GL you think Sinestro core(which is what Sinestro calls everyone who wears a Yellow Power Ring, ego much, yes very very much), he's fought Hal, Guy, Kyle, and Jon. He knows their tactics, he knows about the issue Green Power rings have with the color Yellow. What should have happened was: in his desperation to stop the oncoming threat of Parallax, Sinestro goes against the wishes of the Guardians fights his way through his Lantern brothers to seize the yellow power ring, only to be seduced by it. He no longer wants to fight Parallax, he fully agrees with drawing on the fears of others. Hal defeats Hammond, sends him to jail, and when he goes back to Oa (Oooo ah in case you are wondering, I ain good at phonetics) finds the place in shambles and hears tell of Sinestro's betrayal. He vows to bring Sinestro to justice and make him answer for his crimes.

But you get a second benefit, you can make any fights between Hal and Sinestro in the future potential redemption stories. Sinestro was one of Abin Sur's dearest friends. Hal would feel it is his responsibility to try and bring him back into the fold, to make Sinestro see the error of his ways. Hell in New 52 the Guardians re-granted Sinestro a green ring, which was hilarious since of course the YELLOW lanterns are name after him. Ain no Yellow Lantern core it's the Sinestro core or you can get stomped. Mark Strong plays a pretty decent annoying superior, so you could have really played this up, let him take his arrogance up to a 200, really give anybody who faces him a THOROUGH talking to, while kicking their teeth down their throats and probably killing them.

The Last 30 minutes

This is where everything falls apart, yes you have some goofy missteps early on Carol Ferris realizing that Hal is GL so quickly is kind of hilarious since in the comics she later becomes Star Sapphire, but these can be forgotten. I don't think they were ever expecting to get to a point where Star Sapphire was going to be used as a main villain, he has plenty of others that you could choose from, plus if they had done it right Parallax could have been stretched out at least 2 movies. Hector Hammond kills his father, okay a little much but hey he's a bad guy and dad wasn't always the most supportive. Hector getting killed by Parallax after thinking he has stolen Hal's ring, meh. I have an issue with killing villains anyway so it could have served it's purpose and still been okay. Hell technically the HERO didn't kill the villain, he just didn't save him(Batman Begins rule, and surprisingly he stuck to it in all 3 movies) and since that is where the villains powers had derived from that's kind of a chasing your tail and catching it thing right there.

Hal defeating Parallax, WHAT he just got that damn ring. He barely seemed to know how to use it on Oa and now you are gonna have him beating 2 MAJOR VILLAINS, all within the span of like 20 minutes and we are just supposedly to be like WOOOOHOOO you are mega awesome. Hell no, we just saw Parallax smoke like 30 Lanterns, TRAINED LANTERNS guys who had been at this for years. Yes Hal Jordan is known as one of the greatest Lanterns but he earned it, the hard way. Every step, every brick, every slap of mortar to attempt to rush him to GREATNESS so quickly kind of highlights what has been wrong with most of DC's movies when it gets to the end, you killed the villain and now there is no gauge for your heroes growth nor to understand how he currently measures up to where he was when he started.

In the 80's Superman run Lex Luthor lasted through all 4 movies, he used his superior intellect to repeatedly test the Man of Steel. He learned from his mistakes, made better traps, created better pit falls. And audiences rightfully ate it up, by killing Parallax first you screw up the reason why the Green rings don't work against the color yellow(big green lantern plot point), second now who is he gonna fight to get this Mark of Greatness. Seriously if a rookie can take him out in his first week, he's barely a stain of recognition. Parallax should have been no where near earth, he should have been headed to Oa to face his enemies there. and he should have been taking forever, or let all the lanterns capture him in the GIANT power battery at Oa's center and thus give Sinestro the ring AND weaken the rings against the color yellow, it would have made so much sense. and yet NOPE lets just kill them all off and then give Sinestro the ring after the credits

WHAT?

Sinestro gets his ring in an anti-climactic after credits scene, why would Sinestro be enticed by the power ring after Parallax is defeated. He just goes back to being a regular green lantern warrior. he would have no reason to put the ring on, thus his seduction as it perverted his noble gesture to it's own ends if Parallax is gone. He was off at Earth, he probably didn't even get a glimpse of the ring, they could have destroyed it and no one would have been the wiser. And by putting it in as an after credits seen that was mostly a throw away, you don't really give Hal a reason to want to fight him. Or to be mad at him, plead with him, or attempt to reform him. Hell to Hal who doesn't really know what it means to be a Lantern yet, seeing Sinestro leave just seems like a guy retiring, he's from Earth people do that all the time.

And seriously, Parallax being so stupid that EVEN THOUGH he has flow past who knows how many: stars, planets, black holes, asteroid belts, comets, pulsars, etc to GET to Earth, he wouldn't notice the giant, burning irradiated gas ball we call the Sun behind him and know that "hmmm I need to stay away from that" basically it's one of those misguided BIG endings. Rookie Hal Jordan should have stayed far away from Parallax or should have tricked him into the Giant Lantern Battery trap, makes sense and doesn't insult the intelligence of movie goers, where as the Magically Delicious ending of somehow Hal being able to trick Parallax near the Sun, fly THROUGH him, turn around in JUST enough time to give him the KNOCK OUT PUNCH to push him fully into the Suns gravity, and THEN pass out from exhaustion so that he has to be saved by fellow Lanterns(even though each lantern is EXPECTED to handle the whole sector BY THEMSELVES), yeah you might think that screams BIG HOLLYWOOD ENDING, when really it screams CHEESY B MOVIE FARE. Now yes there were PLENTY of things panned from this movie, "I know RIGHT!" most of which isn't entirely fair but because you ruined a pretty decent superhero movie by trying to throw like 6 different major character points in there at the end you become fair game. It's sad really, because when he tricks Hammond into letting Carol go the whole crowd was behind them, I was smiling, I was happy, I figured hey while this is going on Sinestro will disobey a direct order, steal the power ring, be overcome by it's power, and have his noble intentions turned towards evil, knock out, destroy or kill a bunch of his fellow lanterns and leave out. Possibly for Earth, possibly for his home planet to become the feared conqueror, but seriously for Sinestro to just take the ring later, it's not his original origin story, it's not even a play on his original origin story, it's just crap.

Why would he feel betrayed when literally nothing happened to him he just took the ring? Why would he hate Hal Jordan when under his tutelage Jordan destroyed the Lanterns greatest enemy? It's questions like these that big execs forget and then end up blowing 100 million on a major movie only to see it flop. Who you are, why you are doing what you do, and your TRUE internal motivation are all important plot points. Without them, nobody is going to care and even if you have the BIG BATTLE, and the MULTITUDE OF EXPLOSIONS, all it's going to look like is that party at the end of a terrible day where the cake is smashed, the presents burning and somebody says "surprise" while setting off a party popper and you are standing there in tattered clothing looking like "Really?!" or maybe this. A good origin story ruined by 30 minutes worth of rushing, and why? It always seems to me when someone does that it's because they are afraid they won't get another movie. I mean when Sam Raimi did it at the end of Spider-man 3 we all knew it was because they weren't gonna let him do Spidey 4, and while it made money the ending was confusing and it was a pretty lame use of the Venom character. Topher Grace is a decent actor, but he was a lousy Eddie Brock especially since Topher just looked like a carbon copy of Toby Maguire. Eddie Brock is supposed to be this Alpha Male jock reporter who put himself through intense physical therapy and became a muscle head due to having cancer. In other words he LOOKS like the Anti Peter Parker, not just like a younger, morally flexible, ambitious Peter Parker. Same thing in Green Lantern, if Parallax is beaten by a rookie, and there is no continuing strife with Hector Hammond, and Sinestro just takes the power ring, isn't handed one by the sworn enemies of the Guardians because he was banished after being found to be an unbelievable tyrant on Korugar(his homeworld). Sinestro first wears the yellow ring because he was banished and then after multiple defeats and a near death experience starts the yellow Lantern core to actually spread fear(what they changed the yellow color to mean), and constantly at war with the Green and Red lanterns(sometimes the Star Sapphires). You just throw him in, crap.

Again until the last 30 minutes Green Lantern is a decent origin story ruined by a director trying to add too much in the end, kind of like a kid trying to stuff every Halloween treat in his mouth that he can right before he gets sent to bed. Of course Ryan Reynolds was kind of side tracked afterwards from doing big budget super hero movies(and thus we were denied the awesomeness of Deadpool for 4 more years,I was looking for this clip from Game Over but can't find just that scene Youtube you have failed me, okay it was 5 but still) and of course DC put all the rest of it's non Superman or Batman flicks on hold almost indefinitely. Supposedly they are finally doing Wonder Woman, then Aquaman, and then the Flash but we shall see, they said that when Green Lantern came out too.