Here we go Again

It's another movie night, I am about to head to the theater to watch HOPEFULLY Resident Evil, the final chapter. Resident Evil is a special little conundrum it is based on a video game(mostly) and yet the type of video game it is based on is based on Zombie survival horror which is of course a type of movie. I have often said one of the reasons that RE hasn't been as lackluster as other video game movies is because Zombie Horror is something people know how to do, yes you have to add in crazy looking enemies, mutated dogs, and weird horse/bull looking things but it's still the undead chasing living people around who just want to make it to another day. They have used various characters from the game Ada Wong, Chris Redman, the Nemesis, Wesker, and of course Alice. It plays well because you get to see your favorite characters damn near die or die (depending on who you liked in the movie) but at least go out in a blaze of glory.

They have waded their way through 5 movies(not unlike Underworld) and have decided to let their crew go out in a blaze of glory in one final mega battle. This doesn't mean they can't do another Resident Evil movie later, but they retired Alice around 5 in the games I think, had Chris in more of them as well as showed random other characters. So while you may lose your T-virus power Super Zombie killer you can still have folks who are pretty good at fighting off Zombies and getting to the end versus whoever the Big Boss is.

My movies of 2016 pt. 2

As you can see the first half of my list had up and downs it was almost like if I watched a good movie the next one was crap. Now I didn't plan it that way(because NO ONE plans it that way, who wants to waste money on crappy movies), in the second half of the year though I had much better picks granted I didn't hit every movie I planned to hit but I got 3 good ones and one decent one. It was much better than the movie that culminated the last list but it wasn't the high point of the second half of 2016.

2016 also see me hit the drive in again for this first time in years, which redeems the drive in because if I'm not mistake my last drive in movies was The Hulk(yeah yeah get your HOOOOEMYGAWDS out of the way). It was a nice date night with an old friend and while the slush machine was a little bitter we enjoyed the movie, which was

My movies of 2016

I initially tried to write this on Wordpress but it became my "everything I did in 2016" blog, so we gone try this again, over here, with no cursing, EEEEEEVEN though I am gonna be discussing some straight up GARBAGE movies. but lets give it a go shall we. As you know I tend to go to the movies a fair amount, some years and months more than others. I think I hit 10 last year, not all the ones I wanted to or THOUGHT I would see, I hit most of the majors but not all of them. And it was a mixed bag, seriously a mixed bag because there were some good movies, some bad movies, some nice attempts and then some I have no clue what the director was thinking.

When I did this on word press I meant to, actually I'm not sure what I meant to do so now I am gonna to give you a few paragraphs about each movie I watched and if I feel it's getting wordy I will break it up into extra posts. Now personally I feel that my movie watching year started out pretty damn well, as only it could with what we were given the one and only

Who ya gonna call, now

The new Ghostbusters trailer has officially dropped here's the link. So obviously the question is, what do I think. It looks like it will be funny, but it kind of looks like a parody instead of a full on reboot. Like silly things happened in the original Ghostbusters movie, but they took capturing paranormal phenomenon seriously. If I'm gonna to be honest, two skinny white women, one chubby white woman and a black chick okay yes it looks like the gender bent ghostbusters. Since none of the names are the same I am a little disappointed that they aren't the daughters of the originals, a passing of the torch would have been nice. Even some sort of tortured legacy(see what I did there, oh come on Ghosts, tortured legacy, whatever it's funny) that the only pick up because the city is in danger would have been a nice romp. Doesn't mean it won't be good, just means its not the sequel/reboot I was hoping for so far.

Now I'm not naive, I know that most of the more recent reboots focused less on being serious and more on making fun of the source material. And the last movie to try and seriously recreate the original(Man from U.N.C.L.E) had lukewarm success at best, I don't think it was because the source material is bad. I think it was because you needed to make it more in line with the times, actually upgrade and modernize the characters, if people wanted to watch the original that's what netflix, amazon prime, hulu, and a million other streaming services are for. What they can't do is pull a Bourne Identity out of their butts easily, the director of the Bourne Identity was brilliant, we were once again hearing tell of shadow government programs of rendition, black ops programs, and possible brain washing. So instead of rehashing a cold war story and putting it on the screen verbatim they tweaked it a little. Even the A-team movie(which I feel should have gotten a sequel) gave you the team, a few of the old cast members, and a story that was believable if a little over the top(which for the A-team is par for the course).

Can these ladies handle their proton packs, maybe and honestly I hope so at first blush it isn't terrible but as a fan of the original I really wanted them to go ahead and admit:This has happened before, things kept going on, but now we have some new blood in the game. The actresses involved(that I know) have been pretty good in past movies, and they might even have good chemistry onscreen(which the original cast had in spades, granted they had worked together in who knows how many movies), but can they be good in this role, treat it with a level of respect AND make us laugh at the same time. I mean they started off with a sliming, and the "every crack" joke was decent(wasn't out of the park, maybe a swallowing joke or a ectoplasmic pregnancy test joke SOMETHING, you got ghost splooged run with it), and it was awesome to see Slimer again.

I plan to see this movie, I want this movie to be good, I want more Ghostbuster movies. They were fun, they were silly, and they were something you and your parents could enjoy without one of the other having to spend half the ride home explaining "what were they talking about" I want to scream GHOSTBUSTERS when Ray Parker Jr. comes on, but at least with this first trailer you don't have me completely sold. My interest is still piqued, but I'm not checking fandango yet for ticket preorders

Why everybody going Batcrap crazy over Ben Affleck as Batman is a little misguided pt.1

Let's be honest here a few of yall are mad because you don't like Ben Affleck as an actor, those folks hey if you don't like somebody you don't and nothing the person does will EVER be good to you. I'm not talking to you, because you are allowed not to like who you don't want to like. I'm the same way with Dane Cook, dude just isn't funny to me. While there are roles where I say okay, yes Dane Cook worked in that, they are few and far between and I ain searching out a Dane Cook movie JUST to see if he worked in it. We could get into how I LOATHE Jamie Kennedy ENTIRELY but you know what that is a blog in itself, when he came out he was like a poor man's version of Dane Cook to me so yeah he had no chance.

Some of you guys are basing your dislike for Ben Affleck as Batman because you disliked the Daredevil movie, I am partially talking to yall. Mainly because you are mad at Ben Affleck because you were expecting a Blind Spider-man which is YOUR fault not his. Some of you really don't read Marvel Comics, don't understand where MOST of their characters come from, and thus when you come at it from the ORIGINAL DC stand point you get some chapped hides. From a guy pushing 40 let me give you the basic breakdown of DC vs Marvel: when I was younger MOST of the DC characters were models of perfection, yes they had the normal super hero mishap Superman his planet was destroyed. But his life:he was a kid who had almost perfect Step Parents(John and Martha), was raised on a farm with love and caring, and while he had a few issues tamping down his powers as a child(well not really in a lot of the early comics he didn't get his powers til his teen years so he had a mostly normal life) for the most part he had it pretty steady. The Flash: was a pretty decent police lab tech(don't know if they called them csi's back then but normally he worked in a lab doing work for the police), a lightning bolt hits some chemicals he becomes your faster than life speed demon. Oh wait I should pause I am doing the comics from MY Childhood I understand there was a flash before Barry Allen I just didn't read him that much, the Magical Ring green lantern either. Even Batman Rich kid, having a pretty good time then he's parents are killed after a pretty good night and while still privileged he is tortured for the rest of his life and goes out to fight crime. Early on he actually used guns, was less of a fighting specialist and more of just a brawler, and while he had gadgets he wasn't as super prepared as he is now.

Afternoon Ponderers

Seems like I have been getting a nice amount of traffic lately and I want to thank all who are coming through. I know I disappeared again but lets just say I had other things on my mind besides blogging. I know I talk about whatever but some days you just want to keep it moving and not get too deep into the details. So that's what I did, let's see what I have noticed lately welp my Eagles are sucking right now, I'm talking Dyson sucking, 3 quarter Car Wash sucking. It would be okay if the offense was stalling a little since you know Mike Vick is out and all, but our defense has forgotten what the word meant. We let RG3 slice us up, a rookie I mean come on Rookies used to hate having to play Philadelphia because their main view was gonna be turf. I understand that yeah maybe Juan Castillo wasn't aggressive enough for some people but he's been gone for a couple of weeks now, whats the new guys excuse. This is Philly you want us to give you some breathing room:Blitz, Blitz some more, Blitz one more time and if the so happen to get the first down, Blitz them again. They have a mobile quatertback let's see how fast he really is. Let's see how accurate he can be after he has been sucking wind for a quarter trying to evade the blitz.

Plans for the night

As rare as it is FINALLY a late night has knocked me off my normal center. I slept well into the afternoon and it wasn't even a Sunday(which is my usual lazy day) so tonight I plan to get back to reading the books I got from the library, continue to watch some more Ikki Tousen Dragon Destiny (I would recommend watching the first season otherwise that vid will make absolutely no sense), possibly try to find some news from my Eagles preseason finale(who am I kidding I will be on the webs watching the whole thing), maybe trying to swing a ride to pick up the new Madden(what this will be the 3rd one I have bought in the current gaming generation 1 360 and it would be my second ps3), more goofing off on Facebook and possibly do some google+ ing not unlike facebook while I get a lot of interaction on plus, some days I just ain there. These lulls of mine aren't just limited to my ability to write a blog and be satisfied with the content(and yes if I don't like it I refuse to post it, same as with a comment. I am evil with the backspace key if I don't feel engaged enough or dislike the quality), speaking of content seems a lot of people have been stopping by as of late(not according to google analytics but she is such a hard taskmaster to please anyway) I thank you, hope you enjoying. I know since I rarely post anything controversial here(me lack controversy, the unmitigated gall but yeah here no cursing very little controversy what can I say) I don't get too much reader interaction but then again I have gotten some, and not just from people who know me.

Sequels vs. Remakes and Reboots: Robin Hood pt 1

The English Highwayman and his jolly friends have been the subject of many an offering from comic books, cartoons, small and silver screen. He's been played by Errol Flynn, a fox, Sean Connery, Kevin Costner, Carey Elwes, Russel Crowe and many others. His tale is well known Robin an english subject, is an outlaw he steals from the nobles and the corrupt Prince John to help those less fortunate feed their families. Prince John is only ruling because his brother King Richard is currently at war.

The wars have changed a few times sometimes he's off on the crusades other times he's fighting Prince Phillipe of France. Robin is usually a former archer of the king back from the wars to find his life turned upside down. Depending on where we pick up the story he either gathers his merry men on the way or has been travelling with them the whole time, Friar Tuck is always a Jolly and USUALLY an alcohol enjoying holy man who attempts to bring the lords word to Robins wayward group.

The Legend

Sequels vs Remakes/Reboots: Spider-man Pt. 1

As I am sure many have heard by now next year a new Spiderman movie will be released that is going to restart the entire Spidey Universe for Sony. The movie is titled "The Amazing Spiderman" after the long running comic of the same name. Now while there has been some complaining about the new movie I want to look back at how we got to this point, because especially for us Marvel Fans spidey was a culmination of years of wants, dreams and disappointments.

The Comics


Through the years if you were a spidey fan you have probably heard of the following titles: the Amazing Spider-man, the Spectacular Spider-man, Web of Spider-man, Ultimate Spider-man Peter Parker has been swinging through the streets of New York in his red and blue PJ's for the better part of 50 years. Stan Lee and Steve Ditko brought us these wonderful tales of the Queens New Yorker with the extreme case of the guilties starting in 1963. Peter Parker is a straight "A" student, slight in build, high in intelligence, awkward, and seemingly out of place. Peter stays with his Uncle Ben and Aunt May Parker, because something happened to his parents when he was a young child. One fateful night  Peter takes a trip to Empire University to see a demonstration of nuclear energy.

New "series" on the ponderings:Sequels vs Remakes or Reboots

Near the tail end of May beginning of June I was trying to write a blog on my phone about Sequels, Remakes and Reboots as I was looking forwarding into the "Summer Movies Season". As we had a new "The Fast and the Furious" movie out (Fast Five), a new Xmen movie coming (X-men:First Class), another Transformers sequel(Dark of the Moon), and another Captain America reboot(Captain America:First Avenger) lightning struck in my mind. Why not talk about said differences between the types of movies as well as give my opinions on each, as well as whether I like said previous installment, attempt or incarnation. This of course was an immense undertaking filled with phone crashes(and thus lots of key strokes being lost), work stoppages due to my actual 9 to whenever, and the same basic malaise that has cause my reviews of X-men and Green Lantern to STILL be delayed(yes I know I should be Fonged).

Decisions, decisions

I guess it was bound to happen, two movies that I want to see coming out the exact same week. Now we know I hit the movies I do a review and keep it moving, thing is to watch 2 movies in a premier week I would have to amend my 2 days after schedule, I might have to actually do them the night of. Which is an interesting precedent, 2 reviews including trailer recaps, on two nights. Hmm could I pull it off, actually the way this is setting up I could possibly do my 2 days between.

Today is thursday both Kung Fu Panda 2 and The Hangover 2 came out today, IF scheduling permits and I get home before say 6:30 pm I could walk to the theater, catch one and have til Saturday night to complete my review. Then on Sunday I could go check the other one out and have til Tuesday of next week to complete that review. I won't lie this is a good dilemma to have, I know next  week its all about X-men first class and I'm mostly prepared for that but this week is a happy shock. I won't lie I was too busy to hit theaters when part one of these movies came out and Ero Kitsune had to damn near tie me down to get me to watch the first Hangover.

It's here, it's here

Summer movie season has finally arrived(though Fast Five, review to come later, has already jumped out to a first weekend box office hit) and this weekend I'll be damned if the best comic company in the world(Marvel Comics, I'm a Marvel Maniac admitted it a million times DC homers suck it)  doesn't have the first official offering of the season.

Now yes I know summer doesn't start for a few more months but basically May is when kids start to get out of school, so from May til September Studios put out there(HOPEFULLY) creme de la creme, the best they have to offer in hopes of sucking up date, allowance and chore money from teens and young adults with plenty of spare time on their hands. I mean yes they love holidays, but a holiday weekend might give you 3 or 4 days with kids with free time, summer that's everyday. Friday's offering is Thor, one of Marvel's big characters yes I know he is from Viking Mythology but The Mighty Thor has been running since before I was born, and we all know the name of his mighty hammer Mjolnir(but not how to properly say it until much much later) because of Marvel. I'm hoping this is a big summer not only are new characters gracing the silver screen for everybody(marvel is sending forth Thor and Captain America, DC is putting the Green Lantern on patrol) we're also seeing directors use some of that good will they got by making previous blockbusters to bring pet projects to life(Jon Favreau's Cowboys and Aliens). Of course the end of the Harry Potter series of movies is coming this summer, another Transformers, the guys from the Hangover are coming back, as well as a certain fuzzy panda, Pixar even has a new cars on deck(Screw cars where's the Incredibles 2 I wanna see Jack Jack kick butt) in other words if you have a DIME in your pocket the movie theater is out to get your butt in their comfy stadium seats.

I really am going to try to get to the movies every week this summer to catch all the new offerings. Thor looks good(even if we made fun of how the costumes looked at first), Captain America looks like it could be good but as I'm in my 30's forgive my skepticism Steve but I've had to grab the hurl bucket many a time for what they put out with you name on it. Transformers I am going to watch even if at the end of the released trailer it looks like they just let Prime be evil. How you kicking but all trailer long and in the last 8 seconds you get decimated, just a red and blue flash of decepticon butt kickery. Of course Cowboys & Aliens is on my list I get James Bond and Indiana Jones in the same movie, it's a 90's wett dream come true I mean no it's not Sean Connery but Daniel Craig has done a good job as 007 and well Harrison Ford is Harrison Ford. There are a couple of not so well known projects that I am thinking of seeing too Lank wants to see Real Steel, the robot ultimate fighting movie. While it looks okay, meh I want to see Optimus kicking giant robot booty.

There is also a new pirates movie this year it's supposedly a stand alone so we will see how that works out for them, the new Spiderman and Fantastic Four reboots are in the works most likely to premier next year. I've heard that there is another wolverine story coming out as well, so as long as the world doesn't end anytime soon there will be plenty of movies for me to go and see for the next 14 months.

Okay time to do the fast five review and welcome to all new readers.

I just missed your Heart

The scene is a snow covered forest, you see grayish eyes looking out between some furlined hunting clothes. They appear to be watching some of the fauna in the area, a bow is pulled taut and she releases her arrow into the neck of a tall buck the runs off staggering across the field.

The young archer walks up pulls her fur scarf away from her face and says "I just missed your heart" pulls out a gun and shoots the buck in the head. After shooting the buck and killing it she pulls out her knife and starts field dressing it. Cutting out the intestines, heart, while she is cutting a voice comes over her back "You are already dead". The young girl seems angry they begin to fight, tussle, and wrestle while the young girl appears to at least give up a foot and 60 pounds to the taller bearded man she seems to be holding her own. Near the end of the fight she is on the mans back with him in rear naked choke, she seems to hesistate. The man throws her off and says "you hesitated, for that you can drag the deer back alone".

The young girl is seen trudging along with the large buck in a make shift sled, she gets home appears to have cut more off the dear and walks in to a wooden house. The man starts speaking to her first in english, then german, then french, and then in spanish. Where she asks perfectly "Father did you really expect me to snap your neck" in an exasperated tone.

This is the story of a sad flute, a laughing baby and a weeping sword

I will admit this is cheating when I heard this in the opening narration I immediately pulled out my phone and typed it in, I knew it would be my title for the review. Opening lines like this is why I used to tune in to Kung Fu theater every Saturday afternoon to watch this epic tales of martial artist on quests of vengeance, self fulfillment or for honor and glory. It's a story of a soon to be hero who may not be perfect but he will grow on you and make you happy to have come along for the ride, so to the movie:

The Warrior's Way

If I could turn back the hands of time

Prince of Persia, the sands of time.

Now yes this is a movie based on a video game, and if we look at past game to movie send offs there really isn't much hope for this one now is there. Weeeeell not so fast. Now I will be honest, I have not played a single prince of persia game. I just didn't have the time I knew for a fact that those were long platforming games that for the most part unlike RPG's were gonna be long hauls between check or save points. But the storyline I completely understood.  This was the story they started on the cd/dvd generation of platforms. I remember seeing the game trailers the visuals were stunning, the game play was less straight forward and added the puzzle solving into the game play without making it the central focus of the level, sometimes it was just how you got from point a to point b.

Now I know some of you will say well it's just another in a long line of movies that uses free running, and well to be honest no it isn't this is actually the beginner of all that free running. From the first Prince of persia game on the mac this was about free running. You had to pay attention to where you were going and consider how you wanted to get there or else ya butt was toast. Again never played them but I did like an aspect they added to the gaming genre, not just causality but pathfinding.

Okay enough about the game on to the movie. The movie is about Dastan, a young orphan boy from the streets who because of an act of supreme nobility captured part of the heart of the king so he was adopted and grew up in the royal palace. As the younger brother of the two blood princes he often(as is often the case when heroes in most movies) rushes in head first to prove to both himself and others that he is worthy of the blessing he was given. Dastan is a formidable fighter but is less of a bruiser and more athletic think more ninja or jedi like that knight or barbarian. In a battle to take the Holy city of Alamet Dastan comes into possession of an interesting artifact with the ability to turn back time, no more then a minute(which if I am not mistake was the maximum amount of time the game would allow you to run back). But in this minute only the holder of the dagger would know what happened. Now while at first you might think this is kind of useless, in a fight this could be the difference between life and death. You would know exactly what your enemy had in store for you, where a potential trap might be, where an ambush was coming from. And the best part, because only you knew what was about to happen you could pretend to be caught unawares and while exposing a true enemy for what he is and yet would take little to no damage for it.

And yes Dastan has many instances of using it for just those purposes. You see many in the trailer but there are more. And while I am thinking of pointing out a couple of cultural miscues, then again they really don't take away from the movie. It gives you a look into a bit of the culture of what is now the middle east that we have heard similar tales too but really haven't been told(at least in a real life movie) with as many stunning visuals. I think if Disney ever decides to also do Aladdin in a real life movie Prince of Persia will be their blue print because Dastan shares many similarities to Aladdin both street urchins, flexible, acrobatic, quick witted. The real main difference is Dastan seems to be tongue tied around women and Aladdin he ain got that problem. I did not check the box office for this movie yet(I might) and as I am not a huge fan of the game my expectations were not as.... wait let me stop and put out a brief disclaimer

Around last year sometime there was a trailer out for a movie that ended up being prince of persia that was unpolished, gritty and basically looked like it was a fan film or a soon to be straight to video flick. When I saw that trailer if you asked me then how was PoP gonna do I would have told you it was gonna be wack and another blow against good video game movies, not unlike some of the early comic book fare was to that genre.

 Okay now that I have said that I did not have high expectations for the movie last year, again not a big fan of the game and while I do love cultural stories that have more to do with just europeans and western mythology I was worried that this game to movie translation would not live up to its calling. Ladies and gentleman I stand up to applaud the cast and director it proving me wrong and sticking my big foot in my fat mouth. This movie rocked(notice how I ain really brought up much along the lines of plot points there is a reason for that, if I did it would really ruin the movie. This is one of those stories where you really have to pay attention to every single detail or else you will get turned around and lost), while I figured out who the main bad guy was early in the film(mainly because well um 9 out of 10 times in his last like umpteen movies if ben kingsley is in it he is the damn bad guy) I was not sure who if any his accomplices were amongst the other main characters. I mean usually in these movies the main bad guy never acts alone, he always has some powerful accomplices. And in this movie his accomplices or lack of certain accomplices was a big surprise(wait did I just not tell you a damn thing, watch the friggin movie what I just say, did I not just say if I give out plot points it ruins the film yeesh).

And I really love the ending, damn um hmmm well see this is tricky I can't talk about what I loved about the movie because if anybody reading this(yeah yeah what are the odds but just in case somebody googles Prince of Persia reviews and my blog comes up) before they go see it I don't want to spoil it. The entire cast did a great job, and whats up with doc ock being in like almost every movie coming down the pike this year. I'm loving it I think him and Zoe must be having a contest to see how many movies they can get out this year.

We ain the A-team

"the Loser's"

When I went to go see this movie I will admit, I thought it might be an A-team rip off. I mean You have a guy who basically walks around with a little charm, is constantly changing outfits seems to be Mr. Charisma(like face), You have the Tall Brooding Badass(like BA), and you have the Cigar chomping brain(like Hannibal). But don't let the smooth taste of the trailer fool ya, yes there are big explosions, yes the actors appear to be the best team there is for a job you just can't do. But the loser's aren't the A-team. The loser's just want to clear their names and get back to their normal lives(those that have them).

I went to go see this movie because I like 3 of the actors who play some of the main characters in the movie Zoe Saldana, Idris Elba, and Chris Evans. If I have the time and the cash I like to go support folks who's work I enjoy. The first time I saw Zoe Saldana of course was in Star Trek(the new one) she had some big boots to fill but she did it well. Idris Elba I first saw in Daddy's Little girls, which I only watched because I love Gabrielle union's fine chocolate self. But I like the way he played the part of a father working hard to try and take care of his children in a world that basically worked against him because of a mistake made when he was younger. It highlighted not only the struggles of a single black father(a demographic that while I do not belong too gets ignored a lot in the stereotypical world where black men don't care for their kids), but how life has jaded even black people against each other. If you haven't seen Daddy's little girls go check it out.  Chris Evans, well I mean who didn't like the Human Torch except for hack movie critics who obviously never read a Fantastic Four comic. There are guys born to play certain roles Ryan Reynolds was born to play Deadpool highly skilled deadly assasin(that had to be like the easiest casting job ever too, hmm is ryan available hey ryan make fun of Hugh jackman real quick cool you're hired), and Chris for Johnny Storm he really does remind you of the bratty kid brother, the one always running around playing pranks, never really seems to want to be serious and is the master of the party.

Okay enough about my reasons for going to see the movie on to the movie. Now are their similarities to the A-team yes. They are an elite Army unit, the go on a mission the mission begins to go off without a hitch until an invisible hand bends them over and takes them forcibly. No kisses, no hugs, not even a good job little lady just an oh well now on to the next job. So after their not so gently screwing they are stuck in Bolivia as they  try to figure out a way to get stateside. In pops Zoe's mysterious character who appears to also have it in for the invisible hand who's neck they would all like to break. She gets them in to america(in an ironic fashion), starts setting them up with equipment as they go after Max this super spook who is the cause for their current situation. Now there is a mad dash to get a face to face and summarily gun in the face of max. There are betrayals(something you will rarely see amongst the A-team members, I mean techinically tranqing BA before you stick him on a plane or helicopter is a betrayal but this ain about them), ultimatums, gun fights, knife fights, some sweet close combat stuff(think Mr. and Mrs. Smith), and lots and lots of explosions:Clay, Pooch, Jensen, Roque and Cougar are gonna take you on a ride to get Max it ain gonna be pretty, but then what do you expect? You are riding with The Losers after all