The sea calm and clear on a moonlit night. Two fisherman pull up their net and find a man, what they think is a drowned man until he gasps for air while saying something in Spanish. We are whipped to the Spanish court, it seems this man claims to have been aboard the ship of Ponce De Leon, which the men say is impossible because Ponce was lost 200 years ago. But the King looks at the book in the mans hand a orders a close figure to leave immediately for the new world. We are whipped to a courtroom in England a hooded man is being brought to trial. The man Jack Sparrow, pirate, looter, thief he will hang for his crimes against the crown, except when the hood is taken off it's Mr. Gibbs who is pleading the case for him NOT being jack sparrow. All rise, a gloved hand is seen handing a bag of money to a court officer and the Judges name is cried out. Under wig and powder is a familiar face, he questions the NOT Jack Sparrow about the conditions of him being in his presence that afternoon. After being bludgeoned a few times, and the Judge threatening him with another bludgeoning for claiming he could point out the REAL Jack Sparrow the Judge demands a verdict, without a trial. Drooling for their entertainment the court room onlookers scream "Hang im, Hang im" to which upon hearing the guilty "verdict" the Judge says "Mr. Gibbs you have been convicted of the crime of NOT being Jack Sparrow and will be placed imprisoned for the rest of your natural life". The crowd screams bloody murder, they wanted their hanging, they had a pirate in their midst and they expected a throat stretching, aaaah justice how fine she be.
Pirates of the Caribbean:On Stranger Tides
Upon giving this sentence the Judge adjourns the court and heads out behind the bench, as he walks past an office he removes wing, rubs off facial powder and reveals that Captain Jack Sparrow has just saved the life of his chum Mr. Gibbs. Walking to the back of the transport car headed to the tower of London, Jack nods to the driver and gets in the back with the recently convicted Mr. Gibbs. After assuring him that this was all a part of the plan Jack asks Gibbs why it is he is back in London. Mr. Gibbs Replied "I heard Capt Jack Sparrow was in London, with a ship and that he is gathering crew to search for the fountain of youth" Capt. Sparrow looks at him amazed "I'm what", "Jack sparrow is assembling a crew for his ship tonight at the Captains Daughter", Jack is furious it seems someone is infringing upon his name and without his beloved Captains title. So now he must go to the "Captains Daughter" to figure out exactly who is pretending to be Captain Jack Sparrow, the cart comes to a halt.
Pirates of the Caribbean:On Stranger Tides
Upon opening the door Jack and Gibbs are greeted by musket bearing Red coats, Jack has a rifle butt slammed into his head when he turns around to attempt to get back in the cart and is frog marched into a cathedral domed room with a table running across one end filled with all kind of delicious delicacies. Jack is handcuffed to a golden fancy chair and looks around the room, he sees the food, a golden chandelier a balcony and a window. There is a pastry that seems to have caught his eye and as he clomps the chair closer in an attempt to get it he finds he is still a little to far to reach, Jack kicks the table and has the sweet roll towards him just as the door begins to open he kicks the sweet up pushes his chair back and is greeted by a bunch of stuffily clothed men, and then the surprise even Jack couldn't predict Hector Barbossa walking into the court wearing a wig, a wooden leg, and having a station in the kings Navy. After being questioned, finding his map stolen AND making a wacky escape while evading most of the red coats in London Jack is saved by his father from a straggler in front of the Captains Daughter. Jack and his father have a conversation over a few drinks and after being shown the "compatriots" of the person infringing upon his likeness jack enters the room to find a shadow, an almost mirror image of himself down to the hat(Jacks Precious hat). After a rather intense sword exchange where the imposter seems to have Jack's erratic fighting style memorized down to a T, he pulls off a move to which Jack says "there is only one person who could know that move" and pulls his imposter in for a deep kiss.
Her name is Angelica and it seems Jack Stole her virtue many moons ago at a Spanish convent (he claims to have thought it was a brothel, and who am I to doubt the great Captain Jack Sparrow), she claims that Jack was the only pirate she thought she could pass for, which Jack is not sure whether or not to take as a compliment. Now while grilling her about her ship, crew and use of his name to undertake a voyage the Red Coats back track and are banging on the door. In a battle and escape worthy of the wily pirate they end up on the docks outside, where jack is immediately hit with a blow dart dipped in some sleeping drought. Jack is awaken to orders to "get on his feet" which I guess since every pirate has to start at the bottom he immediately responds to and then decries "I'm not supposed to be here", the bard from earlier is also nearby and introduces himself as Scrum(name me a single pirate with a normal name I dare you, well normal Pirate name they all seemed to have normal names at one point in time) and explains to jack that he is under the Command of Blackbeard the pirate(also known as Edward Teach, the pirate that all other pirates fear) and they were sailing on the Queen Anne's Revenge. While working on the decks amongst the crew Jack notices the "zombie like" lieutenants, and his former quarry Angelica the first mate, he sneaks behind the former nun and demands some answers. She admits to the ruse about being Jack sparrow to gather crew for Blackbeard(I guess nobody wants to sail with the notorious and mystical pirate, I wonder why) and that she told him she was his daughter.
Jack gathers the crew together below decks in the dark to ask them a few pertinent questions:Has the captain ever come out of his quarters, Have they ever seen the captain, how do they know they are on the Queen Anne's revenge? When the response to not pass his muster he gathers the crew up to mutiny and this is when things go wrong:first the lieutenants aren't zombie like they are zombies(proven when one takes a cutlass through the heart) and second and possibly the most embarrassing THIS REALLY IS THE QUEEN ANNE'S REVENGE complete with one walking, talking, mystically powered Captain Blackbeard. After subduing the mutineers and deciding that the cook should be the one punished for not reporting the mutiny as it was his watch he sends the poor soul to the front of the ship, to attempt to row away for his life.........
As this is supposed to be a standalone pirate movie there is no mention Will or Elizabeth and for the most part the more colorful members of the crew(save gibbs) seems to be absent, what happens to them is later revealed by Barbossa. The quest for the Fountain of Youth is a race between the pirates, the English and the Spanish and as always with Jack Sparrow involved you have no clue how many of his insane quirks are intricately thought out plots to bring himself to a certain end. The players who returned
Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow: the somewhat sun scorched unorthodox protagonist who always takes a wacky winding path but ends up right where he needs to be EXACTLY when you need him.
Geoffrey Rush as Captain Hector Barbossa:Jacks former first mate the Captain of the Black Pearl and now an officer in King George's navy(I don't know if it's Americas FAVORITE King George but he is a King, he is British and his name is George). The cause of his missing leg and favorite pet monkey is not yet known but remembering how driven Barbossa was in the first 3 tales you can best believe who ever has his leg and his ship is going to be a sorry soul indeed.
Keith Richards as Captain Teague: Little is known about Cap'n Teague other than he is keeper of the Pirate Code(and will shoot you dead if you disparage it's good name) and the father of one Captain Jack Sparrow. If he has a Flintlock pistol pointed at you, you'd best apologize and hope he lets you live.
Kevin McNally as Gibbs:a pirates pirate and often a confidant of one Jack sparrow he has sailed upon the Black Pearl many times and is usually found in Tortuga but news of Jack Sparrow needing a crew has brought this cur to ground
The new introductions
Ian McShane as Edward Teach aka Blackbeard the Pirate:If you are on the high seas and don't shiver at the name Blackbeard you my friend are insane. The pirate all pirates feared, he seems to have some mystical abilities including some deep connection with his ship, he zombies his most trusted officers and is merciless above and beyond the call of sanity. If you choice is between the sharks and Blackbeard take the sharks quickly, because the sharks will at least be quick about it.
Penelope Cruz as Angelica:The impersonator of one Captain Jack Sparrow, the seller of one tale of being the seed of Edward teach, and a former nun. She seems to have one driving force, saving the soul of her "father" Blackbeard or does she
Oscar Jaenada as The Spaniard:now see this is just wrong, this man was cold blooded in "The Losers" why he ain got a name, okay okay back to THIS movie this man has ice water running through his veins when passing the English ships he did not even bother to look in their direction as they scrambled to aim cannons at him, his mission was one thing and one thing only The Fountain, the English were beneath him *ptoey*
Stephen Graham as Scrum: a bard of sorts he sings the songs that make the ladies dance, regardless of where their from high or low. Not much is known about how big or small a part Mr Scrum will play in future events but he knows a tune or tune and will sing for a hay-penny.
Yes there are more characters than that but as I haven't gotten to their part of the story up top I'm going to leave them out. The high seas, swashbuckling, buxom babes, and scurvy sea dogs it's a pirates movie and please remember to stay after the credits yes there is something. I mean if you don't care go on home but I enjoyed this trek across the Atlantic with Jack and Crew, so if you have a few pounds to spare come on along for a ride on the Queen Anne's Revenge.
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